I Stood Up To Them!

Good for you! I used to do whatever someone else wanted to do...until the time came when I COULDN'T do it. Since I've had multiple sclerosis 14 1/2 years, I've finally begun to learn my limits. For instance, if it's hot and humid outside, I know I'm going to have problems walking pretty quickly and I try to stay indoors. I can't walk long distances, or rapidly anymore; I kind of amble along now, with a slight limp. If someone doesn't want to accommodate me with my limitations, I'm fine with not going. In my opinion, it's their loss. And if I'm invited to someplace that I really don't want to go or don't feel comfortable, I've learned to give my regrets. It's about how I feel. It took a heck of a lot of baby steps to get where I am-and I'm proud of you too!

Congratulations on making this emotional-hurdle! I too sometimes have trouble standing up to people. And sometimes I too, get taken advantage of. But, I've been learning. I still have far to go. And I'm glad that you've taken the your baby steps.

You're darn right it's a great first step. One small step for humankind, one giant leap for you, and that's a good thing!! As you continue on your journey, you'll get more and more assertive, and your steps will become larger. Good for you for making this step. Keep up the good work.

You go , v good for you . I am a shy person but very strong will , I dont let anyone take advantage of me . It is good for you to stand up for yourself. Its baby step but its a start and and they will soon come to realize that you will not allow them to walk over you anymore .

I used to be very "obedient". I do not complain when I am being asked to do something most especially when I know that I can really do it. I always readily oblige. But things have changed now. It seems that people around me don't use their heads anymore. They would all rely on me. Well, I have learned to say no. And they should learn to start using their head.

Whewwww... This is a new you... Are you sure you wanted to be this way? Yes, and just baby steps but your is no longer baby steps. That's alrealdy a frog's leap. Lol. Go for it girl wheeeee h eeeee whooo hoooot

Good for you! You have to make sure you have boundaries with people so they won't walk all over you. It's doesn't mean that you are rude or being mean. it's putting the world on nasty of your worth and your time. keep up the good work my friend

Well good for you LMB! It's not all that hard to do once you get used to doing it. It's called asserting yourself, and it's really a simple procedure. There is no reason at all to do things you really do not want to do. The worse part is, when you KNOW someone is taking advantage of you and you still do it. That's the part that hurts most and depresses us. Baby step or not, it's a start and you'll see yourself getting better and better at it.

Honey...let me tell you the next steps that are likely to come and how to tackle them. They wont take it lightly, especially if they've been used to walking all over you reducing you to doormat. They will have grapevines and back biting...and even try to show as if something is wrong with your mind. Bear with it, but remain firm. No fighting back, no defending, you have finished your battle. All that talk, especially when the grapevine feeds it back to you, will feel why people think so low of me. They will...but not for long...a year at the max two. Nobody has time to remember another person so much. And what more, it would soon be another person's turn. In all probability the turn of the person who troubled you. When that happens, whatever they spoke about you, now you have a chance to clarify if you must. Whatever you say now will carry more weight. Whatever happens...DONT LET PEOPLE MAKE YOU FEEL YOU BEHAVED BAD EVEN IF YOU DID. Remember it was self defense, and so permitted. Trust me, I have been there and done that, and I know how it feels to stand up to others.

If you have always let them walk all over you, your baby step will be misunderstood and they will keep you at bay, unless you have taken the decision to live your life without them.

Right! I'm glad that you did this. It is good for us to stand up for ourselves. I actually had a friend say something similar to me one time but I told her that the certain day wouldn't work for me and that I would have to let her know what day would be better. We have to live our own life and not let others control us.

Hi friend, good to hear about your activity. WE have the rights to plan for our self based on our wish, as you have your own plans for your Saturday, so no one have the ability to change it. Spend your day based on your wish, all the best

We all need boundaries. We all need to know how to say NO. I enjoy doing volunteer work but even with volunteer work, I had to learn to say NO. I am only ME and there is only 24 hours in a day and 8 of those hours I need to sleep. Also, I have a family and family comes first. And even my family knows that I need - ME time. So, don't feel bad or even guilty for saying NO. If we don't set boundaries for ourselves and respect ourselves, then there are some people who will take advantage of that. You made the right decision. It may be a baby step, but you are heading in the right decision. Good for you. :)

Yup you did the right thing, and there are really times when we need to speak up, say whats on our mind and never let other boss us around, even if we are just being kind. Listen to what they have to say but you dont have to always agree!

That's excellent my friend, consider yourself on the path to pure assertiveness, as you said in your previous discussion saying no for the first time is very very difficult, especially if you are the type of person who will always say yes, after a few times, saying no becomes easier, and people will no longer see you as the person who will always say yes! By standing up for ourselves we actually get MORE respect rather than less believe it or not. You do learn the hard way and there comes a point, which you have reached where you say NO! You have to put YOUR needs first before others!

indeed! even if i really don't get what this is all about, all i can say is the road to change is it has to start with us.

It's a good step. You put a boundary in place and as long as they respect that it's good. My problem is that I always put myself last - due to being ignored as a child. I'm always fixing stuff for everyone else and sometimes forget that I have my own needs too. What you need/want sometimes has to become your priority.

Good for you. I do that here also. Then I get told I'm the B8TCH cause I stood up to their manipulative controlling type of ways. I can't win for nothing. I hope you continue to assert yourself as I will and don't care much anymore what I'm called.

I don't really understand why you did what everyone else told you to do until now. It's good that you have changed your attitude, it can bring only positive things.

It was not something wrong to take other peoples opinion,advice,or saying.But its up to us to decide what direction we are going to take.Not all of their saying are bad.Some of them might be usefull or right for us.But you must decide what is the best for you.In taking decision you can be right or the opposite.So what ever that is its your responsible in what you had determined to do.So take wise decision before you do anything,don't do it just because you want to fight other peoples argument,well sometimes they can be right too.So think verry carefully.