Trusting myself again

this is a phase.... i think everyone had experienced this at least once in a lifetime. it is normal to feel that way if there are failures and lost expectation. Life for me is up, down and plateau. Sometimes I am up so hyper and so ecstatic, sometimes, I am just plateau... looking for some excitement and thrills. sometimes I am down. I am just glad that the support system in the family is just so strong the can lift one's spirit up when someone is down. I don't find much comfort with friends. My friends don't know when I am down.

I am already 60 and despite not having been successful in life, I haven't lost all hopes. I still am struggling from ailment and failures but I haven't gave up yet.

I feel the same way. I just got my heart broken and I feel EMPTY and LOST. I don't even feel like myself anymore. I also am scared to embark on a new relationship. I hope I can learn to trust myself again.

You are not alone Everyone has and will always have failures. It's natural to feel really down when you fail. What I do is I accept the situation. I pray to God for his guidance, after which I usually feel a lot better inside, then move on.

nice to hear that from you, you have great positive progress in your life, slow but sure is still good, besides you have your confidence back in yourself and you believe that you can reach your achieve one day with this progress. it's life where is some positive side and negative side include the response from around us, dont worry because they can't do like you.

I have been there many times, and it makes me upset and depressed also sad for 1,5 years. it's tough! But slowly with the time i was able to move on. Keep positive mind, you will be successful and achieve your dreams.

I understand and I can relate well with your situation. I also lost my self confident after my marriage broke up. I trust myself too much that my ex-hus won't cheat me- but I was wrong. Since then, I lost my self confidence and I have been to the most down moment of my life. It takes time for me to moved and stand on my feet again. Now I am more confident of myself and I become stronger than I use to be.

good day to you olivetree27, trusting ones self is a must thing to do. hence, how can others trust you if you cannot trust your own. and what you did is a right thing to do. thus, before you can be trusted by anyone else, you really must have the trust on your capabilities. though its normal to think negatively but never distrust yourself. or you might end up, nobody seems to trust you anymore. cheer up, life is too short to dwell on negative things.

Yes. Sure. I lose self confidence when no one supports me here in work online. Well, they are not serious about it even I tell them the truth. What I did is pray to God that someday I could achieve my goals and then, I watch video that keeps me on motivating and keeps me entertain. I read forums or articles that makes me inspired especially here on myLot.

A broken heart can cause doubt in one self and in love. The difficulty to over come some say is done away with in time. That time is painful. How to overcome this is different for every situation or person. The best to do is "jump back on the horse" perhaps not in love but in life, persue as you would other activities of joy.

Sometimes, when other people try to pull you down most especially those who just see your weaknesses it will somehow trigger one’s self to feel insecurities. What I would do when I am in such situation is that I take away all my insecurities and just do pursue what I am doing, as long as I know that I am not hurting no one, I don’t care what others will say because this is me and they have no right to judge me from the surface.

Yes, I have gone through tough times but as the saying goes - when the going gets tough, the tough get going. When I start to get down on myself, I do something for others. That always lifts me up, when I am able to do something for someone who is even less fortunate than me. That doesn't mean I feel superior to them, it means that I am able to help them. I cheer myself up by cheering up others. I had achieved some of my goals and now, that I am in a new stage of my life, have had to re-evalute my life and set some new goals. I do what I can do - then I don't worry about what I can't do and therefore, don't doubt myself. So, take one step at a time. Keep your focus on your goals. But also set little goals, like accomplishing daily tasks. Then, it helps you to feel good about yourself at the end of the day. Just for example, on Mylot, I will set myself a goal to write several meaningful and helpful posts each day. All the best to you. Stay hopeful and positive and you will accomplish your goals!

Hi, I sympathize with you actually I thought you were also describing me ha ha not laughing at you but I just thought I'm the only one feeling that way, it took me 2 1/2 months to regain myself and did a lot of changes from my system to make things right but I can't say I did it right yet but sooner when I get back on my own track. I think almost everyone comes to that point from different part of their lives and we just have to know our goals in life and what really motivate us to do somethings to keep us on going and be confident enough to every people we meet. I usually think of positive things i life, how fortunate I am than the others, what are my previous achievement that I can do it again and again because it can't be steal from us our confidence and those who believe in us :) I hope I help you on this one :)

I experience this when i have lost contacts with couple of my best friends, while moving to new location. Was really sad at that time, never used to talk and eat much.But slowly everything went normal and made new good friends. That is the way life Ever battle we cant win, but you have to fight all

I like your acceptance and positive mindedness here which is so important for recovering from setbacks on both your self-esteem and self-confidence that goes hand in hand towards living a successful life. Just like in cancer, the earlier you identify it the better are the chances of recovery, understanding your condition and identifying the problem earlier can help you to get rid of it. Don’t just sit on the problem and ignore it, matters will get worse by the day. Lack of self confidence and self esteem is not something that we are born with. It is our perception of ourselves that is shaped by our upbringing, our surroundings, our experiences while growing up and also the social sub strata where we have spent our life. So remember, it is never in born. No matter what someone says about your performance, you have only one way to go and that is up. Like the eternal optimistic one who says, while falling from a 10 storey building, “so far so good”. Rejections are never a permanent assessment of you or your abilities. It is the opinion of one man or may be a few and never a judgment of your abilities. It is up to you to prove your critics wrong. One aspect I find fighting problems of low self confidence successfully is to get all the help that you can get. There are so many online help that is available which can help you to overcome your problem. I recommend that you try visiting the resources at Build Self Confidence and read more about the great materials that are available to restore your self confidence and your esteem. The other aspect is recognizing the importance of being around with people. It is a normal trend for a failure affected person to avoid people and dissocialize themselves but studies have shown that such anti-social choice can do further harm than any good. Instead coming out and meeting people can increase one's confidence. In the general negative trend, a person suffering from a lack of confidence increasingly becomes over wary of the people around him. He is afraid to talk to others thinking that people don’t like him and would not be willing to speak to him. This is what starts the loneliness and the depression that builds up inside and causes the person to become shy and withdrawn. Socializing with people takes the fear of people out of your thought process. Sometimes the fear of rejection gets deep rooted into your systems and that have to go. Specializing is the best medicine for that. Maybe at the start, you will not have the right results or may be the jitters will take a couple of parties to get over, but eventually it will work. You need to be positive and stay positive. You can start by simply spending more time with the people who are in your inner circle like your close friends and your family which is a sure way to make you feel comfortable and start the process of change. Fear of unable to get accepted by people is what creates the problem of self esteem. This is more of a mental thing and the sooner that you get out it the better. The more you meet and mingle with people the more you will understand and realize that your fear was unfounded and downright wrong. Try joining a group who may have the same interests that you have and this can go a long way to ensure that your fear is controlled. If you feel like you can join a class and use that as a great way to meet and exchange ideas with people. Although initially you may feel little uncomfortable and find it not worth it, but in order to beat your fears, meeting people is probably the best medicine. Until you do that, there is no way that you will ever get out of the problem. Once you have overcome your fears you would have successfully overcome your greatest nemesis, your low self confidence. Lastly, positive affirmations are a great way to overcome your fears of rejection and it can go a long way to ensure that your negativity can be eradicated. As soon as you feel that you are getting into a negative set of mind, start thinking about a positive affirmation and repeat it in your mind. This is a way to turn your negativity into positively and making your mind believe that it can overcome the problem. When your subconscious mind starts believing it, it starts to react accordingly. Take some time off and write down a few positive affirmations such as “I am a happy person”; “I am great to be around”; “everybody jut adores me”; these are all positive thoughts that will infuse positive thoughts into you. Pick the ones that you think genuinely you want to be identified with and incorporate those affirmations into your characteristics. This is easier said than done but when done successfully will work wonders to your personality and self confidence. Never during and after the process be harsh to yourself. Always encourage yourself. You are your best friend. When you inspire your own self you can overcome the problems that you are facing. Remember, if you don’t love yourself don’t expect others to love you. Change is something that no one can do for you. You alone have to incorporate changes in your life and reap the benefits of them. You deserve a chance to a better life and you ought to give it to yourself. So, delay no more!

We tend to lose our self-esteem when things goes wrong. And you should not feel sorry about it coz it is just how a person reacts. But the most important thing is you are able to see that it has changed the way you see life and that you are very willing to get back on your feet again and start anew.

It's happened to me, yes, and I know exactly how it feels not to trust yourself and get depressed. It happened to me last year when it became one year after I lost my job due to the crisis. For one year then I couldn't find a job and despite my two University degrees and two foreign languages, and despite the other skill that I have, I coulnd find where to work. I still can't but one thing I learned from this heavy depression and low self-esteem is that negative perspective won't lead me anywhere. So I grabbed myself, read a lot about positive thinking, started spending more time with my child and moved on. Because my child needed me and no one could give her what I could. So for the sake of the child, her father and my life in general, I decided not to let depression overwhelm me and moved further. Still not finding job won't defeat me this time.

Felt the same way too. A heart break can really make us feel so down sometimes. It seems like love is the only thing that can keep us going. But we have to just to put in mind that if there's no someone special to make us happy, think about oruselves and our family who loves us dearly. From ourselves and our family we can have determination to push ourselves to success.

I understand you.. take a step back a deep breath and start all over again. Things will get much better for you. Just take small steps. Good luck to you there....

After a hard fall of rain , see the sun is so bright now ! I am happy that you have overcome those dark days. It is not a sin to fail and often we are doing it , and it is not a big deal nor the end of the world. All goes through that thing and that is okay , the important thing is , you are able to rise after each fall and you have done it Olive , very impressive ! Yes , you need to have that trust again so you will trust others also. Pursue those dreams , you're talented and gifted , use it then and God will do the rest .