When you lost that loving feeling..

That's what happens when you get married that quickly. And for "quickly" I mean you may have known him not for 6, but for 60 years, that doesn't matter, because in such a long distance relationship you don't really get to know him well enough to get married. You have never lived actually with him, together in the same place, so he is basically a stranger to you, so this attitude and behavior of his must not surprise you. When you've lived together with someone long enough to see his flaws and virtues, then you can say you know that person to some point. At least you'll know what to expect. What may help you here is try and talk to him, but I don't know how good it will do, because not knowing him well will prevent you from making the right approach...

first of all, Congratulations! happy for you newly weds!, as I was reading your discussion I can't find any very valid reasons what bothers you a lot since you did mention that it's just a little issues because if you classify those issues not so important why it burdens you? that is really something that needs to be settled with your husband it might come out under some circumstances that it shouldn't be discuss but because of there's upcoming argument (just in case, and it's normal along the way of couple's relationship) you might brought up and say something that will hurt him as a result he might also feel bad about you for not telling him and your hiding things from him (just visualizing), In my own perspective women are usually the one's whose keeping the relationship strong esp. married life. I suggest if you try to set a mood and timing to talk things out both sides so that both of you will work things out since probably the reason emotionally your attached from more on the past relationship during when your having time together only most are good things since it's seldom to know more each other due to long distance relationship. I hope I did contribute something :)

Welcome to myLot! The treatment sometimes changes after getting married. Before marriage, spouses are sweeter and do everything for their partners but after marriage, they become insensitive, fault finder, etc. You need to be more patient. We've been married for more than eight years already and some issues are still popping out one by one. We need to overcome this problems to make our marriages work. Goodluck to you and your husband. Be comfortable in sharing your problems here so that we can give proper or better advice. :)

That's life when we are in love. During courtship everything is rosy, married life is reality and totally different. That is why at times I joke with my husband that I prefer to be his girlfriend than wife. If you really love him, you have to accept him totally as he is. However, during good mood, or right time ... you may tell him nicely about the things you do not like and you truly hope that he can change for the better. Maybe he can accept it and change for you. I hope some myLotters her could give you some good advise too. All the best ... no one is perfect.

You're just discovering new things about him that you missed because of the long distance even though you have been with him many years before. I don't think you need to worry, as long as you love each other, these things will get sorted out. Do try to talk to him openly about your feelings though.

What ever it is, you should try to talk with your husband about it. Maybe he didn't notice his behavior. Hope things will get resolved. Good luck!

I hope what I am about to say could help meet you half way and bring about some understanding between the both of you. First of all, solving problems is about looking at the problems straight in the face and dealing with it. It is not anyone's call or right to call if it is significant or not, small or big and like simple housekeeping, the house will still be dirty if you keep sweeping things underneath the carpet. So, you will have to decide what to trash out and throw out at the end of the day. Communication is about everything a relationship should have and could have, and to stay in communicable terms means a great deal as to how the relationship will stay on and develop. Short of it, will just be asking for the inevitable conclusion of things. There are a lot of things to trash out when 2 people start coming and living together. So, it is important for the both of you to remember to be nice to each other even when it is about pointing out those unpleasant faults and bad habits. There are many ways one can approach and solve a problem. Just don't fail to exhaust all options because as you've said it yourself - you just simply love him. But loving him does not mean you will have to hurt yourself doing it. If there's something bothering you, then learn to approach it and speak to him about it. Make him understand that it is hurting you and does not seem right especially when the both of you are living together. There are times where he will be in torn in the middle when making decisions and I think it is important to help him realize that there are many options at approaching the matters that he is being stuck with. Offer some solutions and most of all make him understand that considering you into his decision making is not a sign of weakness or being a henpecked individual but a man who knows how to treat his lady right and have every respect for the one he loves. Simple deeds and the constant remembering of you are the bricks that build strong relationships. At the same time, you will need to be open and forgiving as he goes about from his old ways to the new. There are bound to be mistakes here and there, and I suppose like the saying about where is the true love when we cannot learn to love during adversity. So, be patient and above all rise up with your wisdom to bring about the clarity so that you will be able to understand.

I shall say that the first two years of marriage is the hardest/crucial part of married life. It's like getting to know each other part of a married life. The long engagement (boyfriend/girlfriend) relationship is not enough basis to say that you know your partner so well. Like what the old folks saying " you will come to know the real person once you live under one roof" And even living under one roof, it takes a lifetime to unveil more hidden attitude or behavior of the person/partner have. Take it easy and try to resolve the problem- you're not alone having this problem. If others passed this stage, I am sure you can- Love is the answer.

That is why it so difficult to get married in the first place. Ha ha Okay. When we are into relationship, we thought, our boyfriend or girlfriend is fine with us because we really don't know them well. If we get married, then that is the time we clearly understood of who that person are. Anyway, just talk it over so that everything will be fine.

I don't know what your trouble is because you did not say it all. I guess you just have to cope up with the problem but it depends. As I said I don't get what messed you up.

I'm curious about the attitude you were saying. Is it something that cannot be changed? I had just broken up with my boyfriend, ours is an LDR too. I've been thinking about writing something about LDR actually but can;t start it. I have noticed some attitude too. And I've asked myself if I'd like to be married to someone like him? Can I take it? Can I live with him for the rest of my life - him having such issues, him having such attitude.....? At first I thought if I love someone I've gotta accept everything about him. But sometimes we need to consider and think about ourselves too. But since you both are already married. I guess you need to let him know how you feel about his attitude.

I once had a problem with my husband that I never expect. I got very disappointed and he knows that something is bothering me so he asked and never let go till I talked about it. When we talked about it, he understands and promised to do his best to avoid that cetain behavior that disppoints me. In the end, I'm glad that we talked about it because he kept his promise. You see, all you it takes is to be honest and talk about things that bothers you or disappoints you. Say it in a right and honest way.

Hi SexyPink, In my opinion, you will not really know a person till you are in one roof and living together. And you mentioned that you love your husband dearly, so his short coming or what you call little issue should be settle and you just need to talk and open up to him about it. Although, if it is something that cant be change already, you have to adjust or accept it as it is. But still if you open it up to him, for sure it will lessen whatever it maybe that is really annoying you. Since you are newly wed, there is more to discover about you and him, so enjoy what you can and talk things out with that you cant really take. Just my thoughts on this

What made you decide to stay so committed? And, like a lot of the others, we don't really know how to respond if you don't give us a more definite question. What is the exact problem, dear?

Welcome to myLot..:) There are always somethings that we dont like about another person, however much we may love them. We opt to ignore them, or adjust to them. Only when they are really pertinent, and things that we are sure we cannot understand or adjust do we raise those topics. So you need to decide whether these issues that you have like toilet habits, or untidyness...or habit of mixing with other women, just whatever it is...is something that you can turn a blind eye to forever, or not. Dont just convince yourself that you need to do it. You dont have to do it. It is not obligatory. It is just an honest self assessment. For example, I wouldnt be able to stay in the same room with the person, if I learnt that he was a pedophile. It is the same issue you have. How much of importance you give to an issue is a very personal thing. Some people are very fastidious about things like borrowing, or keeping the home neat and tidy, while others are not. So we cant really tell you the exact solution, but we can guide you towards it. If it is indeed something that is unacceptable to you, then try talking to him. If he is the dominant, and arrogant type, then chances are he would not appreciate. If it is his dominant and aggressive behavior that you dont like, then you do need to drop hints gently...like laugh and tell him, before you married him, you thought he was very softnatured person, so you felt a lot of love and protectiveness towards him, or such things, which indirectly indicate to him, that you no longer feel that way because of his nature. If he is sensitive enough, he will take the hint. Otherwise, if you cant adjust to those qualities, you might have to seek the help of any marriage counselor, who will help you out in telling your husband that you cant adjust to his past and also to his present habits.

I would suggest marriage is part of compromise , but not an adjustment You will have issues once you start out , but tell to each others thought process and solve those issues thoroughly. If you husband loves you , he will try not to repeat same mistake again or will try to reduce.