why does it hurt so bad

Because we are structured this way, that's why. I mean, every cell in our body has a memory of its own, and it can't be wiped away. Even if our mind says it's over, stop torturing yourself and move on, our body just can't. Emotions surrounding the relationship are deeply stuck in us and it takes time to get rid off them. I have experienced the same situation when I ended a bad relationship and I didn't go over it right away. It took me months to put it behind my back and forget it all.

That will happen only when you love your partner truly. May be atleast for a small time. It's all about the happiness you spend each other and also the helping hands. But if you decide to be separated then in my opinion no regression will be there. Anyway you said it true that it hurts badly when it comes to break up.

It takes time to heal a broken heart. It's not an overnight recovery that we can not feel any pain anymore. The sweet memories are haunting like a shadow and that is why there are times we want to take back our words of goodbye. Keep yourself busy and time will come that slowly you were able to get rid of his memories.

I think it's because no matter who did the breaking up it's an emotional time. After all most people who are in a relationship actually start to share their life with one another. They spend so much time together and their partner in a sense becomes a part of them. So it is really hard to let that go. Oh and we can't forget that we fell in love with that individual at some point, and may still be very much in love with him/her.

I think it's because it's always hard to face that we have made a bad decision... that is not necessarily the break-up but choosing this person in the first place. Or it can be sad thinking through how it ended up like this. What have we done? Why did I LET this happen and go this far? Why did I do that/Why haven't I told him/her earlier about my problems/What did I let him/her to that to me/Why didn't I see that we didn't match?... Also, if you really loved a person, no matter how I feel for them now, they took a little piece of your heart, and you're always gonna remember the good memories, too, with them, which are... well... good... and make you cry.

The one thing I think that really scares people is starting over again. This is a drastic step from having someone, being with someone, and in a way...belonging to someone emotionally. When you are on your own again, you have to figure out not only how to cope, but how to prepare yourself for the next person or the next leg of your journey. It's basically stepping out of your comfort zone. Even if the relationship was bad, there is still healing from that. There's being able to trust again. Being able to be vulnerable while feeling safe. One is still starting over. I went through all of those things, but instead of NOT eating, I ate my feelings and gained 60 pounds I'm still fighting to get off my body. I had a hard time forgetting all the bad things that happened between my ex and I. He took back presents he gifted me, but didn't tell me. When we broke up, he didn't tell me. He let me figure it out for myself. Indeed I cried, I wrote sad poems, and created a list of very sad music. In time, I was able to let that person go and cope. I would never want to take them back, however. He was a wounded soul who had issues stemming from his teenhood and childhood. He really wasn't that fond of women and made fun of them every chance he got. I ignored those things because he was kinda sweet. He was emotionally sucking me dry and once I woke up, I was able to move on in an appropriate timeframe. Instead of eating, however, I wish I would have exercised instead!

I think because we are human with feelings! Time and experiences that both of you been through do have an impact on your life. However, time will be the one that will heal the wounds. Hope you will find a new love soon. All the best ...

There are many reasons why you can feel miserable. No matter if it was your choice or not. I think most of us start something (which includes relationships) with the idea (even if this is only in the back of our mind) that it will never end or will be forever. You invest in it and you see it die. So it needs time to grieve, to get back to your own life, to re-organize your life, to set your (new) goals. I think it's good to take time for that. To take the time to say goodbye to what has been, to what never came true. After that you have time to welcome the new you and go for it.

Well, hi there, pomwango. After reading your discussion, I do think back what I had done in my past relationship. Always crying over spilt milk and wanting to get him back and forth. Thinking that actually without him might be a good choice but after the break up, again thinking and wanting to have him back is a better choice. Well, of course after the break up, everyone do so. Unless you are the type that relationship is nothing just a normal experience in life that we must go through and do not take seriously about it. Most probably you wouldn't be crying, not eating, not sleeping and so on. People take it seriously and cry over it is all because of the memories that they had together back then. That is the power of Memories. No matter what, even family members pass away when you are not the close type with him or her, you still will feel sad and couldn't sleeping or eat or even cry over it. That is all because of the memories. When memories came back to people's mind, they will eventually miss the sweet time together, wishing to have him back thinking that if he is back, maybe I will be happy once again and we are able to be happy once again or probably forgive and forget the mistakes. That is why people will always wanting and crying and couldn't eat and sleep because of the memories. The only thing that will make them feel better is time. After quite a long time when they get used to it, of course they will eventually feel better to have a life without him because of the freedom on doing anything you like which you do not need to consider his or her feeling on doing this and that. For some people, they might as well be ready to move on to accept another love, and maybe it will be able to last long after that long period of resting. That is what I had experienced myself. Maybe to some other people it might be different. But it is my special experience. So yea, enjoy Mylotting!

I understand you there. I was hurt after I broke up from my ex . But for the reason I felt it was all my fault. i know now it wasnt. Im better off now. Take care there.....

It is because of the attachment we have for him , we are attached to our partner spiritually , emotionally and intellectually. Seems all our system is connected to him , that is why when break up occurs like the whole of our system malfunctioned . It is a never easy thing , it takes a lot of strength , faith to be able to survive such kind of an ordeal. Some people failed to survive so end up sick of depression , while others have survive it with a pride. Let us just place in our minds that things happened for a reason and that God spare nothing but the best ! If love failed today , then don't worry , there is that someone for us that God reserve , let us be patient and wait. It will ...happen it will !!

It’s normal in a break-up that there will be a time that you just can’t get over it. Sometimes, it will take someone weeks or even months to say that you are over him/her. You can’t run or divert your attention anyways because you and your ex share an intimate relationship with each other and the memories are still fresh wherein it can’t just get erased in an instant. Although talking with other people will somehow divert it out, but it’s not that simple to forget everything. The best thing one should do is to put closure to it and just live life happily. Remember that before that person came in to your life, you live as a single individual. Cheer-up and you know that there are many fishes in the sea; you just need to fish the good one though.

There are many reasons why we cry... Sometimes it is better to cry so we can pour all our feelings and emotions. After the rain there will always a rainbow coming. So if you cry now, it doesn't mean you are nonsense because it ease the pain... Why do we need to cry? It is for the memories, the sacrifice we need to do, the love lost, and it is for the reason that you want to feel you are crying for the one you love and to him/her to realize. Love is amazing! When love is lost, there is something to learn. Always remember that life is not a bed of roses...

Emotions really works from mind to our actions, we tend to recall everything when we want to forget things that really hurt us most, but then people has it's own choice whether to keep on holding to their grudges, disappointments, hurts and regrets depending in our resistance not to make ourselves remember these things, one way is keeping us busy, making some hobbies that is really fun that will divert our emotion to something really interesting same as to discipline and self control :) you can do moving on it's just that you just want to let go those feelings that made you happy before :)