No visits to the old age home

Hi dee, does anybody know the reason why they never came to see her? I don't blame her for not wanting them at her party. Why should she invite someone who has ignored her for 5 years and apparently threw their friendship out the window? When they go into a nursing home I wonder who will visit them? I believe in Karma. Your mother is better off forgetting them. People do strange things. I have a niece who I always bought nice presents for. Lots of presents. Every time we talked on the phone she always said "Love you Aunty" before hanging up. Always a kiss and hug when I went to her house. I lost my job in 2011. Last summer it was clear there would be no more presents. My birthday was in October, then there was Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's. She never called. She did call once, not on any holiday, and I was sleeping. She left a message "I'm on my way out to go bowling now. I'll call you tomorrow." Of course she never did. And why call me when you're on your way out? So much for really loving me. And she lives 15 minutes from me, same town. So your mother's friends are the same kind of people as a lot of people are. They really don't care but you never find out until your circumstances change. Then you know who your real friends are. For those so-called "friends", it's their loss not your mom's. She's a fantastic person and I hope her feelings aren't hurt by this. I suspect that having her as a friend is something to be treasured, not thrown away. I wonder why they snubbed her in church? Because of the party (if they knew of it) or because they know they have done something wrong by not continuing a 30 year friendship? They should be ashamed and embarrassed of themselves.

These are small issues dee. Your mother should not be bothered about that couple ho do not visit her. It works both ways. They too must miss your mother. If not it is not worth having them as friends.

I think your mother knows best. She feels that the couple does not care for her so I think you should respect her feelings and not make her feel uncomfortable in case the couple comes to her birthday. It is better that she not invite them than be cold in treating them.

I think that there is no sense in inviting people who have shown no interest in being close to you. Just imagine how long 30 years has been! I am sure that their presence wouldn't even mean anything anyway.

From what I could sense, there might be a little misunderstanding between your mom and her friends. Maybe there are reasons why they did not visit her. And maybe the reason why they did not greet your mom is because with their old age they forgot about your mom's birthday or they might have not seen her, vision may not be good anymore. I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt. But I guess if your mom won't feel comfortable if they invite them on her party, then I don't there is a need to invite them.

ohh there must be something behind it that your mom can not tell you or opted not to tell you. hmmm... does she care if they did not greet her. if she is not affected at all no she is not wrong of not inviting them? There must be a deeper reason why she thought so.

Everything is changes. They have their own life. It is difficult to judge them anyway but I think, not all people are like that. Some people still remember you even if how many years had passed.

Well, would you invite a childhood friend who stopped contacting you in the last few years to your Birthday party? I imagine that she is deeply hurt because her long time friends stopped seeing her when she went into the nursing home. That is the time to really show their support for her, not stop visiting her and stop being friends. If they did not even greet her at church, then they stopped being friends, so there is no point in inviting them to her 80th Birthday party. If you want, you could tell them that she will be turning 80 soon, to see if they will send her Birthday greetings. But I would not invite them to the party. Your mother is RIGHT - she can choose whoever she wants and she chooses those who care, to her Birthday party. Don't you invite only those people who care about you, to your Birthday celebrations? Why should turning 80 be any different?