What Makes You Feel Safe?
By NailTech
@NailTech (6874)
United States
January 16, 2013 6:11pm CST
There was this TV personality on a talk show who today just admitted she likes when her husband is in 'charge' as it makes her feel safe. I don't get that. Why would someone who might kind of boss you around (or make all the decisions, etc. make you feel safe? I want a relationship to be 50/50. I don't care how handsome her man is. It could lead to abuse some day, if it gets taken into a more extreme behaviour. What makes you feel safe in a relationship? I would like him to be in charge of 'some' things but not in everything. Money should not be one of the things he is in charge of.
2 people like this
15 responses
@Janurmas (642)
• Indonesia
18 Jan 13
Not all people when his or her spouse is in charge makes them feel safe. Someone feels safe is depend on his or her personality. I feel safe when my spouse is care for me, give advice for me, and always there for me when I need her help and love.
@Ollanna11 (371)
• United States
17 Jan 13
I think highly of a man that takes action. Yes I work and don't mind it but I still fall short on the bills and may not have anything leftover till the next check which is 2 weeks away. If a man ask me how I was doing and if I needed anything that would make me feel safe. Not saying that I always have my hands out but why would I want to be in a mans company that can't provide some assistance sometimes.
Single and working girl!
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
17 Jan 13
My only way of feeling safe here, Is that I live infront of the high school here... and it has a sherrif sub station there. Makes me feel real safe here...
@pumpkin_008 (33)
• Philippines
17 Jan 13
I couldn't agree more and I'm on your side.. I firmly believe that in a relationship, everything must be divided fairly; power, love, decision making, safety.. If there's only one person who gets to decide all the time, I don't think that one day that person will let you make your own decision without consulting him/her first. Worse thing that could happen is when he/she abuses his/her power in everything. I think both person in the relationship should protect, decide and care for each other equally so that in the end there will be no misunderstandings and false accusations.
@pomwango (1353)
• Kenya
17 Jan 13
i think what the presenter may have meant was that when he is on top of situations she feels safe, i also like to know my husband is taking care of things,like checking if there any strange noises anywhere in the house or outside.when he does the heavy tasks around,when i can count on him to beat the rat i see dart across the room then you feel safe.
1 person likes this
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
17 Jan 13
I'd like my husband to take his responsibility both as a father and a husband, like most of us want. To make him in charge of everything, I am not sure I could agree with that. It should always be a 50-50 share of everything.
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
18 Jan 13
I guess some women like for their husband to be the MAN. To be the person who takes the lead in everything and that the woman can do what she needs to confident in his ability to care for the family. I though would want the relationship to be 50/50 as well. But that is me. I would want my husband to be considerate of my thoughts and feelings and not feel that he has the right to dominate me or EVERYTHING in our life.
@doroffee (4222)
• Hungary
17 Jan 13
I like it when a man is a bit more dominant, in a way that I feel he would protect me. But that doesn't mean I want him in 100% charge or I want to be supressed. But it's good to know that, for example, when I walk in the street at night, I have someone to hold my hand, who nwould protect me if I need it, and that makes me feel the warmth of safety in me.
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
17 Jan 13
I am the same as you it's straight down the line, many can;t function in those relationships. My friend has to have any man in her life, she has to feel safe that way. For me I don't necessarily feel safe, with someone else doing my bills, and so on (I need to know sort of speaking). I see many fall prey to these type of situations as well, and it's so sad. It's also comes back to how you were raised as well.
@yuekim123 (161)
• Philippines
17 Jan 13
What makes me feel safe is the assurance that he would not do anything to hurt me intentionally and the trust he gives me. Well, it's okay that he would be in charge of something but I agree with you that it should not be in everything. I too believe that it must be equal but put into mind that there are times that he should be in charge more than you do especially if it is the best thing for the both of you. So don't be too rigid and be a flexible person in handling a relationship in order to avoid or at least mitigate problems that you two will encounter in the future time.
@kokomo (1867)
• Philippines
17 Jan 13
Yeah, I agree with you. Me as in a relationship wants a partner who is a authoritative but of course I want him to consider my side also. I am very turned on to a guy who has an initiative to make a decision and who always have something in his mind and always very open with me but I will be much more appreciate him if he considers also my ideas and then we will do the brainstorming.
@clv1984 (59)
• United States
17 Jan 13
When my husband takes charge of something it makes me feel safe because then I know that if something went down and I needed help, he would beable too take charge. I think theres a difference between taking charge and being controlling. But these days most guys are so feminine and soft. The only light they see is the computer moniter or tv screen. A man taking charge makes me think of a strong, manly cowboy or something. lol But Im old fashioned like that
