Do you have a friend because he/she needs a friend?

Just a word of caution - it's wonderful you are willing to keep Amy in your life, and in your family's life, as it sounds like your family is really the only family she has. The caution is to just make sure you are ready to take on the role your mother did - because Amy might start seeing you as a "surrogate" for your mom since she's passed. Make the boundaries clear as to what you are or are not willing to do in terms of friendship/sistership. On the other hand, it sounds also like you need her, because she, too, is a connection to your mother. My kids had one or two friends like that throughout their childhood years - one girl, in particular - Natalie - was 11 when I met her. My daughter was 9 when they became friends. Natalie's mother lived with her boyfriend, and her two kids (Natalie had a younger brother) - but liked to drive off with her friends and leave the kids with an older grandmother who wasn't aware of much. She was incapable of looking after the kids. Natalie took a shine to me and would start hanging out, even if my daughter was not around. If she saw me taking my son - who was a year old at the time - out to the store - putting him in his car seat, for example, she would beg to go along. I would always make sure she left a note at home in case her mom got back - not that her mother worried anyway. But I wanted to cover myself in case something happened. One time, as we were driving off, with Natalie in the car - she saw her mother drive in the parking lot of the townhomes where we lived at the time. She rolled down her window and yelled to her mother - waving her arms about. I looked - and I SWEAR her mother saw her - stared at her - and didn't respond at all! It was as if she looked right through Natalie - and her window was down, too - so I know she heard her - in fact - the whole neighborhood could hear Natalie! She settled back down in the back seat after rolling up the window. "Thank Mom saw me?," she asked, almost wistfully. I said, "I'm sure she did, Natalie!". What else could I say? It was a sad day when we moved. This was before everyone had computers and internet - probably nearly twenty years ago. I would have loved to stay in touch with her, help her through her teenage years. You and Amy may have thousands of miles between you, but at least, in these days of smart phones, tablets, and internet, you have means to stay in touch. Good luck!

Hello ZoeJoy, My family and friends always teased me that I am everybody's friends. Because I always accommodate almost everyone especially if they need some help. Though I cannot always help them for their financial needs but I always make it a point that my presence is always there for them. And this is the reason why they teased me out, as I am always a friend to those people who are in need of a friend.

Your mother was kind, bless her soul. Yes, I have friends who run to me because they could confide in me especially in times when they just want to let out their frustrations about life in general. I also have been the one to run to a few close friends when I just need someone to talk to. I don't mind either way. Listening to people and being listened can make a difference to someone's sanity.

You're such a sweet person I don't have a friend that I keep just because he or she needs a friend. But if given the chance to have someone like Amy, I am willing to be a friend too. It's a great opportunity to help someone- in any ways that we could.

Sometimes we need to act unselfishly. Amy needs you as a friend, so if you care enough for her, stay her friend. It looks as if she feels part of your family and why should you abandon her. I hope she has family of her own as well? Does she have other friends besides you? It looks as if she has decided that you are her best buddy!

Touched by your story,Amy is just like your sister,what a good experience it is! I havn't any similar story to share,but I like to help others,though I didn't make any friends with this way,forget it,I just like it.I like to see smile on everyone's face when they get help,that's enough. :) Wish you keep friendship with Amy forever.

You sound like a wonderful, caring, warm, sympathetic friend, that anyone would be glad to have, so in reading what you said, it came as no surprise that Amy still wanted to be your friend. A lot of people wouldn't have put themselves out like you have, and that is an endearing quality, a quality I like to think I have. I am a very good listener, warm, caring and very giving, trouble is I have had so many people use and abuse my qualities for their own purposes in the past. I am sure that Amy appreciates what you do for her.

Actually, if I were in your situation, I wouldn't see Amy as just a friend on my mother but as a sister. And I will let her continue to be part of our lives as she has become part of ours.

You have got a great mother and yes, you have inherited her greatness in you also. Way to go on that. Well, i also have a couple of friends I am connected to , just because without me, they do not have any friends at all. They do not mingle well with people and even if they mingle well, others feel a little annoyed by the way they are. I also feel annoying sometimes, but then, even if I do not stay in touch, they would become lonely souls which I would not want to happen with anyone. It is not going to hurt me to just stay in touch with people and share a couple of how are you and how you doing and great going encouraging words. These are little things to me, but for them, it is something more and what you are doing with AMY is also indeed a great thing because it is a big thing is her life to have you in her life.

No I never was or had. First of all I am only with people I like and I am not easily call them my friend(s). I also don't hang around with people anymore who are just with me because they need someone to take care of them. Although I have had plenty of people who had nobody except me in their life. Still to me it's important I like them.

having someone as a friend is a choice that we make based on another person's belief, attitude, interests, fears, character and traits as a whole. Whether he is good or bad, physically able or not, doesn't matter to me. Sometimes we get attached to a person that we call "friend" because we can relate to their feelings, experiences,and the way they react to a certain situation. We gain friends not solely because we need friends, but because we interact to someone else's point of view and their corresponding point of reference. gaining friends is a natural human instinct to everyone.