bullying in my own house

Dawny, I think it is a good thing!!! I mean, you and me we cant go around the world correcting every bully out there, right? So someday the little Cary has to learn how to face up to bullying, and how to retaliate and if not, how to absorb such anger...help the anger dissipate. If he is over protected at home, he will be more sensitive and therefore, even seemingly innocent words may be termed as bullying by him. I am fine if such teasing and ragging goes on amongst brother and sister.

I know that older siblings (or the ones with more power) can be real nasty. We have to be on the look out for that. I remember that many years ago, I babysitted some weeks for my eldest daughter. The two older kids were mean with their younger halfbrother. I`m glad that I`m a witch. I gave them a lesson. My daughter had no idea of the words they used at their brother. The least they said was something that could be translated as "Hey, halfwitted!"

Oh I can relate, except my older son would physically hurt his younger sister in order to control her. I didn't know this because obviously she was careful around him and I didn't know it until she moved out. My younger son, however, told me a couple times his brother did this so I don't allow them together unless I or someone is with them.

She probably won't see it as bullying but she needs to understand that people's sensitivities cannot just be ridden over roughshod; even if she thinks that it is for his own good. No doubt you'll deal with it, I wonder what you were upstairs doing with Tony. Dirty mind I've got...

Well, even when I was in school, even then happened to the boys bullying the weak, all things considered, in those days, the word "bully", I did not feel even mention. Nowadays, unfortunately, often feel weak boys, victims of the arrogance of some elements. It is a phenomenon that should not happen! The children who suffer (often this happens in schools), sometimes do not talk about at home with their parents, perhaps out of shame. And it is wrong! Parents have the right to know if they can take up the defense. I'm sorry that happened to your house such a thing!

I was like this with my sisters especially the youngest one when we were kids. We were teasing each other much till someone cried but we never realized it's bullying. Anyway, when my parents caught us doing this, they scold us and of course tells us it's not right and they teach us to say sorry to each other and to kiss each others cheeks after.

I would have a talk with her, and get her whole side of the story, when the two of you are not upset. Maybe she did not start off with being a bully, but the situation escalated. Maybe go with discussing the situation and ask her how she could have handled it differently. Maybe giving her pointers. If she was just being mean, I would tell her that it won't be tolerated and that actions like that will have consequences and stick to it.

It sounds to me as if Dearra is angry and upset about her own life and is taking it out on her little brother. It might be good to get some counseling as a family to figure out how to best fix things before all of you become totally dysfunctional. That will take some very honest expression of all of your feelings, and it won't be easy, but it will be worth it. For one thing, Dearra might be accusing Cary of being a baby--as well as doing things (such as grabbing his glasses) that would make him end up doing things (such as crying) that get associated with babyhood. She might resent that he can get away with more things for the simple reason of being the baby of the family, so she's punishing him by saying (not in direct words but through her bullying) that, if he's going to get the privileges of being a baby, he's going to also be forced to act like a baby.

I don't know of any "stupid kid noises" but I guess they come in many varieties. Bullying isn't a good past time. I think this is a perfect time that I would be holding a family meeting and talk about it. Nip it in the bud. I wonder if she is getting some kind of bullying type treatment herself. Kids mirror what they see and experience alot. Ofcourse siblings do go on don't they?

That's what they learn in public schools, unfortunately. If she is acting like that toward her brother, that is likely the sort of thing that she is on the receiving end of at school. I know that she does talk with you, but there may be even more going on with the school than what she has told you.

So glad I don't have any kids at home! I am happy I never had to deal with kids fighting and bullying each other. I love kids but I know I would of been a lousey mom if I kept my son and raised him! Maybe some day he will be part of my life. Until then I am letting him find himself.

Yes I agree with you on this. What seems just like harmless fighting among siblings can most definitely turn into something more. We need more parents like you who not only recognize the start of the problem but one who is willing to take the time w/ her kids to make sure it doesn't get out of hand & turn into something more. That's just good parenting on your part.

I think that's very common for the kids to bully their siblings. I considered myself and my younger brother bullying each other when we were still a kid. But now, we are already grown ups and there is no room for bullying with each other. I think because before whenever my parents heard us bullying each other , they were calling our attention and scolded us and told it was a bad habit.

ohhh these are kids stuff.. hahaha but then it is now quite alarming knowing the ages of your children they are teenagers already. Yes, there must be something to be reinforced here because it might something else in the future. the younger one lose her confidence and the eldest run her powers over the younger ones. Good thing you have grasps with your children. Very good mother.

With children, bullying can still be curbed, especially if stopped before they get to their teen years. But what do/can you do when it's the parents who bully/harrass their children, and they think they're in the right, i.e. won't listen to others who tell them otherwise?

Oh you'd probably love spending a day with my kids, LOL. The oldest is bossy.. seems to think he's in charge all the time, even when I'm home. The youngest has a potty mouth.. says terrible things and I don't know where he hears them. Apparently one day recently he called the 6 year old "numb n*ts". I swear but not like that, no clue! And it's really hard to get him to stop.. he's kind of always done it, and the other kids laugh at him when he does it so he thinks it's funny. The 6 year old is overly sensative, to a point it even gets on my nerves half the time. My 10 year old son thinks the oldest is his hero and tries to act just like him.. but the oldest is the biggest pain in the neck on the planet. He's mouthy and has that typical teenage attitude and doesn't think he should have to lift a finger. The daughter is a complete drama queen and completely hates her life because she has too many brothers and doesn't like a single one of them. I keep hoping some day they'll grow out of it and get along.. like when they're all grown and on their own.. but they all swear when they get on their own they won't keep in touch with each other or with me.. and none of them plan on having kids either.. so much for my hopes of each of them having 5 kids just like themselves! Then again, do I want 25 grandkids??

This just proves what I just read and what I've known since I had my second son: [i]Having one child makes you a parent. Having more than one child makes you a referee.[/i] Don't fret too much, they WILL grow up and move out!

I'm not going to say kids will be kids because for one she is a kid but for the 16 year old she is not a kid, She is a young adult and for her actions there are going to be consequences. I don't know if she's aware of that but she should be. I don't think u should wait for 'next time' because it could get worse.

Kids, kids, kids.... At least you caught it. How old are your kids? I have just one, a 14 year old boy named mIguel....

Sometimes siblings need to be separated so that they can appreciate each other. Is Dearra the older child. She needs to have a life of her own. Put her in sports or something to wear off all her energy.