My Intolerance

I can only agree with you although I can't say I am getting more intolerant of people. I just don't need them around me (it always been that way) although I did invest a lot of time, energy and money in (so called) friends. I am happy to be with me, not to have all those (from my) energy-consuming (fake) friends around me. People who never invest in me or find it normal I always help them out of the mess they make. No you should not change your way of living or our opinion. I think many people do think exactly the same, helping out others is breaking you sooner or later (but they keep telling themselves it's a good thing plus keep attracting abusers and most of them will end up without any friend also). Everybody should be who he/she is. With or without family. With or without friends. Life you start alone and you will end it alone. To most people it's hard to be alone, to live alone, to be with theirself. There is nothing wrong with you. You are good the way you are. You know yourself and that is more as most people can say.

it is quite hard and unpredictable at times and we cant just control it and it just keeps flowing for sure and we must take necessary precautions to keep it under control,it could go adverse also

I noticed this last year and thus ended the friendship, I met her at college when I was at 32 and I was glad to have her as a friend, we've been friends for 9 years, then suddenly things she did, or didn't do started to annoy me, whereas once I would have overlooked it, now it seems I have little to no tolerance, I was doing all the giving in the relationship and she was doing all the taking, I would spend a couple of hours driving over to see her, she wasn't making any effort on her part. She is or was my only offline friend, but I just wasn't putting up with it any more, so I ended it, and she couldn't understand why, well when she spent more time on Facebook than with me, and anything she should have told me face to face she would put on Facebook, I couldn't compete. Life's too short to waste on someone who doesn't want to take any effort to make the friendship work.

Actually I tend to agree with you. I watch my daughter and she lets her friends walk all over her and they mostly only call her up with their drama. It's such a shame because she is so nice and is very loyal but no one really appreciates it. I stopped having close friends because they kept walking out of my life for their own reasons and I didn't need the drama either. I had my baby girl and she had her own problems I had to be there for. I was the most prominent person in my daughter's life and I didn't need friends.

I found that I left the importance of close friendship behind when I entered the labor market. I was in a very competitive field and soon found that friends either wanted something from me or used me for their own promotion. It just wasn't worth the effort. Ever since then I have been a loner, I make friends but they are casual and I keep my feelings for family. Now in my later years I work a lot on spirituality and this is again not really a social occupation. I meet people and enjoy learning to get to know them, but I still keep my emotions close. I do energy healing and help any who ask, but I do not befriend them and let them know only one side of me. I am more open here on mylot than in any other phase of my life.

I think we all need to be a little tolerant with people in order to be able to have friends and also have people who will work with us. I know how you feel because I think about the things that some people do that make me angry and I know that I need to put it in my mind that people differ, that there are really people who are slow in the pick-up, etc. It is the way to survive in this world.

If you shield the canyon from the winds, you will not see the beauty of their carving. You are probably enervated and overwhelmed by infallible expectations generated in your mind. Higher desire begets greater disappointment - you can't really change that, but more importantly, a greater sinister lurks maliciously deeper within; your fear of failure which made you afraid of making decisions and that limits your growth. Let me illustrate an analogy: In financial investment, all the low risk, capital-guaranteed investments generally have low returns. Although you still get back your money and a little gain, it's still possible to make a loss from such financial instruments because the meager returns cannot cover the admin/sales/hidden charges that comes with the process of investment and inflation worsens it. Therefore making 'safe' decision in such cases may be not always be the 'best' decision. Learn to take calculated risk and even if you fall, don't be afraid of learning how to recover yourself. We learn walk by falling, therefore we will succeed by failing first. Like Siggy once said: "Are you the men who want crops without plowing up the ground... want rain without thunder and lightning... want the ocean without the roar of its many waters?" The natural craving for love is biologically, emotionally and spiritually induced. No man is an island. Love defines meaning in our otherwise insipid life and it's only human to desire companionship.

Why do you need so many friends. One or two are more than enough to lend your shoulder to or ask for their shoulder. Work towards that goal.

I tend to only keep a few friends as that way we are never felt let down by the people that we trust. I like to be able to have a lot of me time, this is time to do what I want, as well as see who I want. I feel that there are people out there that have to be with other people no matter what and they tend to go to see as many people as they can, as they never know what to do if they are on their own. I like it on my own, like I say who cares if people like it or not, as long as you are happy that is all that really matters.

There's no reason for you to do that. For me getting older is gaining more friends and the more friends you have, the more opportunities of sorts.

There comes a point in my life before that I felt like not wanting any friends and just contented about being with my family. Because I have gained friends and I lost them too. There were a few who became my friends but later the relationship with them turns sour. But despite that, I still wanted to have friends. Good and real ones, specifically.

ohh it is an age thing.. not having so much friends. Me, too I got tired of friends. I am not saying that they are not friends anymore they still are but I refrain from going out with them anymore.. hmmmmm so it is an age stuff. but the description is true, so tiring and so much use of time. I also enjoy my family now, although I am far from them when I went back home for a short vacation no one knew from my outside friends that I will be coming and I left and they never knew I was back home hahaha. so it is about aging. hmmmmm really?

See, it would be hard to listen but ithink that you are getting a bit impatient in my views. First you should calm your mind. I think you should start to understand people and choose those who can be your friend and who won't annoy you. I also think that you should also adopt yoga exercises that will make your life as heaven on earth. I hope that's gonna help you. Stay happy and keep smiling...

I think its an age thing. I find that the older I get the less I want to spend with people I have been friends with for many years. I would rather spend the time with the hubby and kids. I think over time my life has changed so much that many of the people I was friends with before we really have little in common now. Its hard to keep a friendship when your lives are so different from each other. I don't think we need all the drama and stress that comes from maintaining some of these friendships. If your comfortable the way you are don't change to make others happy.

Well, on the tolerance issue, I don't think we should judge people too harshly, lest we be judged ourselves. I can see where you're coming from with the friend thing. I would rather focus the majority of my attention on my family. And with all the drama and companionship that friends ask for, I just don't have the time even for a phone call. A long time ago, I stopped answering my phone and only talk to the couple of friends that I have when I am in the mood to. I think they should understand that I have kids.

Hi Moongypsy... Hmmm.. I think you are just the type of person who are simply contented with family and that you are selective with friends... and there is totally nothing with that. My concern is that... we would need some special assistance that cant always be supported or answered by family members. We would always needs a social circle outside the family. Furthermore, you dont have to repay things back to a friend. Real friends dont ask for exchanges. They would do something for you because they care about you and not because they are after something else.

Well, you know whom I am friends that I attend, I only have three! As they say, better few, but good! I unlike you, but I'm too tolerant, I never say my opinion for fear, I keep it all inside and it makes me feel bad. I know, however, that the way I do it is wrong! But you think you are perhaps too intolerant, in fact from your discussion, you admit it clearly. It is the character, personality, difficult to us to change our methods! Perhaps the only advice I can give you is to become a little more tolerant of people. The fact remains that if you want to be alone, life is your own, and therefore, must be your decision. However, I am sure that you know to enforce, unlike me!

I definitely feel exactly the same that you feel. As a child, it is easy to make friends. But the older I get, the more I understand that friends can lead to drama. Yes sure, they give us happiness and comfort during our time of sadness.. but I feel much better not having to please people when I am not sad. Having just family around is so peaceful and comforting. I'd say the life you and I both live is just great and there is no need to force yourself to make friends. Acquaintances and co-workers, however, is necessary. The friendship bond isn't there, but mutual relationships for work or school is necessary for you.