Disliking someone for no apparent reason
By semicolonp
@semicolonp (518)
Philippines
January 23, 2013 4:28am CST
Have you ever disliked someone for no real reason? They haven't done anything bad to you, and you haven't really seen them do anything bad to anyone. They aren't doing irritating stuff, they're not doing stuff you hate, they might not even be someone you're personally interacting with.
But somehow, you really dislike them.
I met someone like that today. I was in a queue to pay for bills and one of the people on line just made me feel irritated for some reason. He's not even doing anything, he's just standing there, waiting in line like I was. He doesn't look like someone I'm annoyed with. I don't think he really reminds me of anything. But I was so irritated seeing him there and every time my line of sight happens to include him, I scowl.
I told my mother what happened and she says she does feel that way sometimes. And sometimes, the opposite is true as well. There are people she likes for no reason, and even when they've done something she dislikes them for, she still doesn't dislike them to the extent she would have to people she's neutral about.
Have you ever felt like that? I wonder what makes us like or dislike others even when they're not really doing anything that we can like/dislike.
9 responses
@cowboyofhell (3063)
• Philippines
23 Jan 13
If I were you, I would forget it especially that there's no basis for disliking him. I did pull a lesson or two from your story. I should wear a shirt that say 'don't dislike me'.
@semicolonp (518)
• Philippines
23 Jan 13
Oh, it's not really that big a deal for me. Once he was done paying his bills (he was ahead of me in the queue), my irritation was also gone. I don't dislike him now that I'm thinking about him to write this post up, either. It was just an instant dislike that was rooted on the fact that he was there.
I've asked others while I was writing this post up (my brother, his wife, my dad and my cousin living with us) and they have also experience similar stuff. My brother said that sometimes, it has to do with the natural rapport between two people, something that might not even be rooted in one-on-one interaction. I think it's just an issue of compatibility, LOL. I mean, if animals can know their natural enemy just on sight, I'm sure humans have the same features, hahaha!
Good luck on your shirt, by the way. Tell me if it works. :P
@semicolonp (518)
• Philippines
24 Jan 13
Well, it's not really that there's no reason, it's more that I'm not yet aware of the reason. It's more an unconscious reaction to someone, which is often rooted on individual perceptions. For example, your culture, your upbringing, even your parents' biases can influence the way you think and your own biases, so it's just a matter of pin-pointing what it was about the guy that set me off.
I don't really think it's unfair either because you can't help how you perceive your surroundings or the people in your surroundings, and it's not like I'm interacting with him enough to color my reaction.
By the way, we aren't God and are incapable of being fair. We can try to be as fair as we can, but we can't be completely unbiased. Even God isn't fair, technically, so as flawed humans, we can't really be either. :P
@ddaguno (3107)
• Philippines
23 Jan 13
Guilty 
I know it's not right but I also feel that way sometimes.
My friend brought home an officemate one day and I automatically disliked her for no reason. I told our other roommate about this and surprisingly she felt the same. I know its not right to judge and there was no reason for me to feel that way. Anyway if I ever see her again I probably won't dislike her anymore
I know it's not right but I also feel that way sometimes.
My friend brought home an officemate one day and I automatically disliked her for no reason. I told our other roommate about this and surprisingly she felt the same. I know its not right to judge and there was no reason for me to feel that way. Anyway if I ever see her again I probably won't dislike her anymore
@semicolonp (518)
• Philippines
24 Jan 13
Well, it's not really something that we can control, so I don't think it's really bad or something we should feel guilty of. I mean, unless you do something against them, then even the person we dislike isn't affected by it.
And actually, I'm not annoyed with that guy when I was writing this point or when I'm remembering him right now. It was just when he was in front of me. Weird, huh?
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
24 Jan 13
I am guilty with that. I somewhat dislike this former classmate of mine. She seems over-friendly and I just hate her guts. I feel that whatever she does makes her look awkward...
@semicolonp (518)
• Philippines
24 Jan 13
Right? Although in this case, it was more, "I wonder WHAT exactly set me off?" because I don't think he was doing anything really annoying or dislike-inducing. I think it's more something that set me off unconsciously, but I'm still wondering what that was.
@doroffee (4222)
• Hungary
24 Jan 13
I've had some intuitions like that before. Only one ended up false, as the girl turned out to be really sweet, just a bit cold-looking and not really cheerful, but all the other occasions, my gut feeling was right. Because I don't know why, but I always felt this with people who turned out to play a role in my life for a while, not a random stranger... like a French teacher or a grademate in highschool.
@semicolonp (518)
• Philippines
24 Jan 13
Oooh. So it's like a third sense when it comes to people, huh? I wonder if it's like that.
I think I've had people I've liked/disliked for no other reason but that this was the first time I was actually conscious about it. I don't think it's a gut feeling for me though, more that there was just probably something that pinged me about him unconsciously.
Anyway, thanks for the reply! I really appreciate it. =)
@Timekiller_91912 (27)
• United States
24 Jan 13
Yeah it's pretty weird when that happens! But I would usually hate someone on first sight.. because of the way they acted. If they were loud or rude to the people around them, I would dislike them. If they often show attitude or any annoying traits, I would look away from them. However, if it's just a person standing and not doing anything, I'd have nothing to hate about them lol
@semicolonp (518)
• Philippines
24 Jan 13
But I would usually hate someone on first sight.. because of the way they acted.
You know what, that's probably it. The way they acted. I think that, even though I don't realize it NOW and I didn't realize it THEN either, that that guy must have pinged something unpleasant inside my head. Like, an unconscious response from me but maybe so general or vague that I couldn't really distinguish it and it just looked like his mere presence irritated me.
I still don't know what it was though. =/ And, well, he's not really here either and I don't care now that I can't see him. I wonder if it'll spring up again?
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
23 Jan 13
It's the kind of feeling that is so hard to understand and determine what could be the possible reason of feeling that way.
Yes, I also felt that to other person who never did anything, or haven't spoken a single word.
I am sure there are also people who feels the same way towards me (lols)
@semicolonp (518)
• Philippines
24 Jan 13
Exactly. Exactly that. I still can't quite pinpoint the reason, actually, and from the responses, it seems no one really knows how and why it happens either.
Regardless to the reasons, thank you so much for your participation! Maybe we'll figure it out someday, haha. ;)
. When I was a bit younger and going back home from work, I'm easily irritated due to stress from work. @semicolonp (518)
• Philippines
23 Jan 13
Right? I really didn't know why but there it was, rearing it's ugly head, haha! I don't know if it was based on stress because I think I'm pretty relaxed right now. But yeah, it just happens randomly. And I still don't know why.
@pomwango (1353)
• Kenya
23 Jan 13
what happens you have formed an opinion about that person subconsciously,i tend to hate on sight some people i meet because they either look dirty,unkempt,arrogant,proud,dishonest and such.at times i think its also just a gut feeling we have,he is probably not a nice person hence the negative energy and that's why there are those strange people we like on sight and those we cant stomach immediately.
@semicolonp (518)
• Philippines
23 Jan 13
Yeah, I guess that might be on reason. I don't think he looks dirty or unkempt or looked mean, but it might just be that we have very different body chemistry and that affected my perception of him. I was joking with my cousin that, if animals can determine who their natural enemies are without previous experience with said animal (like cats and dogs, or snakes and mongoose), maybe humans have the same inherent quality and we know who it is that we'll never get along with, haha.
