life span
By SpicyTapioca
@SpicyTapioca (18)
Singapore
January 26, 2013 4:06am CST
Hi guys, just a little self introduction over here, my name is James, life's not so good for me so far, had been a little depressed actually. I thought it'll be good to put them down here so I could do some self-reflection at the same time, sharing my problems... Just in case someone might share the same views/ problems as me.
Well, these troubled thoughts flow right into my head during the two critical moments of my daily routine in life; sleeping and waking up.
Whenever it is time to sleep, I lay down on the bed, troubled thoughts comes in. Then it'll just go on till my brain gets tired and exhausted and I fall asleep, feeling grumpy and weary the next day. I am just going to share one of them for now, else it might just take forever to finish reading what I have to say..
Well, I am not sure if this is the correct way to put it, I've been thinking about all the years I've been living, I haven't done much, and probably a quarter of my life span is up. Some people might tell me, stop thinking, start doing, they don't understand. I don't have the liberty to choose where I go right now, I cannot reveal the details however.. The feeling is sucks. I can't do anything about it either. I can only dream, and that helps me to keep my sanity.
I wanted to be an artist, I want to do this, I want to do that, so much that I want to do, so much restrictions, so many damn regimentation. I am tired of my lifestyle, the only free time I have are like a half of a weekend, sometimes I don't even get the day off on weekends. Every damn day, is a struggle. It hurt even more to think that the life span of man is a mere century at best.
I just hope and pray that whoever who is reading this, appreciate what you have, spend your time wisely, not everyone has the freedom or the time to do what they really want to do.. sigh.
5 responses
@allknowing (132637)
• India
26 Jan 13
What I learnt from reading your post is that you are occupied and you just have no time for yourself. Why do you hate your work so?Do they pay you? Will they sack you if you take a day off occasionally and indulge in your hobby that is art. What kind of art is that?
@SpicyTapioca (18)
• Singapore
26 Jan 13
That is right, I am pretty much busy all the time. I hate it because I have no time to do what I like, I am always occupied with piles of stuff to do, to learn, and I have no interest in, I am struggling with my life in there. You can't get a day off, you are not entitled to anyway. It's not a job, its a liability, or I would say, compulsory. I used to do traditional drawing, and performing arts.
@allknowing (132637)
• India
26 Jan 13
It looks like you are a student and you don't like what you are doing. You have to change your attitude and get to like what you are doing. We have all done it. It is not at all difficult. How many more years would you be in this rut if I might call it so?
See Spicy I do not know much about you and with limited knowledge there is little I can guide you. You must have heard of a saying 'What can't be cured has to endured"
Take care.
See Spicy I do not know much about you and with limited knowledge there is little I can guide you. You must have heard of a saying 'What can't be cured has to endured"
Take care.@SpicyTapioca (18)
• Singapore
26 Jan 13
ah, you got it wrong here, I am not a student.. if I were, I wouldn't need to hide don't you think so? I am pretty sure you have not been through what I've been through. But of course, I will endure, and I will never give up. Though it's giving me a bad time. Thank you though, for your advice, its good to know someone actually tried to help me ;)
@lacieice (2060)
• United States
26 Jan 13
It sounds to me as if you are in a very restricted environment...perhaps an institution of some kind. I assume there may be a time limit on how long you will be there. I think you need someone to talk to...a counselor or a therapist. You are, apparently, in your mid-twenties, so you really do have a lot of life to look forward to. You need to put your time to good use. Find ways to learn new things, perhaps by reading. Knowledge is never wasted, so use your time wisely. I also think it might to help to set short and long term goals for yourself, but don't make them impossible to complete. Maybe even set daily goals...like "today, I only think positive thoughts", or Today I will smile at everyone". Keep it simple for now, then move on to more complex goals. I wish you well.
@SpicyTapioca (18)
• Singapore
26 Jan 13
hi Lacieice, you got it right, and you got it half right. It's not a day or a week, not a month nor a year, its going to be like this for years. Now I think you'll know my situation a bit clearer. However, I get to go home sometimes, like a day in a month or so if nothing goes wrong. I don't have time to read anything for leisure, as I said in the other responses, everyday is a new learning phase. However, I am still hanging on, and I smile during the day. Thank you ice.
@SpicyTapioca (18)
• Singapore
26 Jan 13
Hi allknowing, thanks but I'd thought it'll be better if you gave me more than just that..
@rog0322 (2829)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
26 Jan 13
Hi,
Another case of job burnout, if I may hazard an analysis. Depression and boredom marks a lifestyle that is down on the ruts, without challenges and new novelties. Well, there's nothing I can offer much of an advice here. It seems you spend all week on doing the same kind of work and nothing else but try to seek new avenues for variety, going out of the way once in a while as a diversion, the possibilities are endless really. Learn new skills, take in new interests, go someplace to eat or sleep, vary the daily routine, make new deadlines or take on bigger challenges. Most of the time these things can be possible without breaking the "damn regimentation." Its just a matter of seeing and doing the familiar things in a new way.
@SpicyTapioca (18)
• Singapore
26 Jan 13
Hi rog, thanks for the advice. I wouldn't say what I am doing is boring, but its tiring me out. It restricts me from what I want to do as a career in the future, no one would actually understand me unless they are in my situation. I am actually learning a lot over here, just not what I want to learn you see.. I cant just go some place to eat or sleep because I can't go wherever I want as and when I feel like it. That's the problem.. :(
@vernaC (1491)
• Romania
26 Jan 13
Hi, welcome to mylot
. I have almost the same situation like you before when I was working. Almost no day offs, working more than 8 hours, work with different kind of people and you're right it sucks. But I have friends and we were able to make our situation a bit better and happier. So I hope you have friends too, they can help a lot whenever you are depressed about life. You can just talk and let out your emotions and hopefully you'd feel better. Goodluck in things you want for your life
.
. I have almost the same situation like you before when I was working. Almost no day offs, working more than 8 hours, work with different kind of people and you're right it sucks. But I have friends and we were able to make our situation a bit better and happier. So I hope you have friends too, they can help a lot whenever you are depressed about life. You can just talk and let out your emotions and hopefully you'd feel better. Goodluck in things you want for your life.