Don't Be Too Hard On Yourself
By Artemeis
@artemeis (4194)
China
January 26, 2013 12:02pm CST
If the airlines have limits to how much baggage is to be carried on flight, I don't think you have the exemption to keep carrying excess emotional baggage over a period of time repeatedly and for no apparent reason.
You should not keep these mistakes you had made in the past to let it spoil your present and wreck you. Everybody makes mistakes and you are no exception. By repeatedly focus on your past mistakes, is not helping your cause. Forgive yourself, accept your limitations and try to learn from the errors you made either knowingly or unknowingly. Mistakes and failures are parts of life where when we know how to accept, deal and pick ourselves up will mean success for all of us.
You should never fall into the trap of going back in time and thinking of what could have been different because in life you only get to live once. We should not be afraid to fall down once in a while and forget to pick ourselves up to continue walking. All of us falls down from time to time but that's not as important as the need to remember to continue walking to our final destination and success.
Have a great 2013.
16 responses
@Mavic123456 (21893)
• Thailand
27 Jan 13
Yes, this is so true.. and I couldn't disagree to what you just used. I had been too bad to myself. I have loved almost everyone including the rats and ants, except myself. Myself complained, I got depression and got so tired. I think they call it as Burn Out or Mid-life Crisis. Then I realized, oh sorry self I have been to hard at you... now I have learned my lesson, I will be good to you as good as I am good to others. and We live happily ever after. LOL... no I mean i got a different perspective about life and happier. I get sad from time to time, it is normal, I get angry from time to time that's normal. but I see different world now.
@artemeis (4194)
• China
13 Feb 13
Sorry for the late response here because for starters I did not receive the usual notifications when this post of mine was responded not even one (16 here). I wonder if you had the same problem like me.
The other reason, was that I was being busy with the Spring Festival holidays in my country because this year my husband and I decided to take the entire family overseas for a holiday vacation to Phuket, Thailand. So, I have been pampering myself with the amazing spas, massages and manicures here since arriving 3 days ago.
Like you said, never forget to love yourself - I am actually indulging and spoiling myself bad with the spa treatments which is really an out of the world experience as far as enjoying yourself is concern. I never know what pampering means until now - so drop those bags that you are lugging and start living your life on your own terms.
@Mavic123456 (21893)
• Thailand
13 Feb 13
well can i just be envious of you having a great timoe.. whew...good for you.. yes and have fun
@allknowing (135306)
• India
28 Jan 13
I have learnt the art of having cut off dates for everything in my life - be it a relationship, a project that does not go well, my unfilled dreams. I know when to stop and move on.
1 person likes this
@artemeis (4194)
• China
13 Feb 13
While it is good to be disciplined and in control of things, I hope that you would not be too rigid with your life.
Like my holiday now in Phuket, Thailand - my husband decided on a tailor made itinerary where we can engage with our indulgence and be together at the same time - all in our own likings and timing - without our luggage, of course.
I wish you every best and success here.
@natliegleb (5175)
• India
27 Jan 13
If that is a rule that needs to be followed by everyone ideally and no one can be exempted from this process anytime and the rules are mandatory for all ,good luck to all and play by the rules for happy journey
1 person likes this
@artemeis (4194)
• China
13 Feb 13
Sorry for the late response to yours because the alerts here failed for this time here.
Anyway, I am on holiday in Phuket, Thailand - sipping a glass of tropical fruit juice by the poolside after a sumptuous buffet breakfast at the hotel. Since, I have all morning till lunch time, I thought I'd respond some of my posts during this time.
I don't see this as a rule but more common sense. I have been on vacation (real one) since 3 days ago and I am certainly not lugging my luggage with me as I get pampered in the spas, scenery sightseeing and basking under the sun on white sandy beaches. All of which would not be enjoyable if I cannot trust the hotel to be safe and be able to take care of my belongings in the rooms.
I am sure you wouldn't not be going through everyday of your life looking back into the past and letting it be your yardstick for what you are deciding to do today. Besides, each day will be different from the other and definitely from yesterdays and we will be cheating ourselves of living to the fullest when we do that.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
27 Jan 13
These are the words I must tell myself over and over and over again. LoL!
No matter how many times I would tell myself to not look back on the past and not be scared that something like what happened in the past will happen again... I still sometimes end up feeling lost and scared. It destroys some relationship that I must start and take care of.
1 person likes this
@artemeis (4194)
• China
13 Feb 13
I think it is alright to recall the past sometimes because our memories does not work like our computer hard disks which though may have the same functions and characteristics, could not be "scrubbed" clean.
While the past may remind us not to repeat them, I believe it is in every individual on how he/she evolves from it. Some may be like you who can be out of control when our resolve is weak to let emotions overwhelm you and affect your relationship with others. However, if you realized it here, then it is time you look into ways to help you overcome them than the other way round for you.
Like a rare diamond, I don't think you can ever have a lot of second chances so live life to your fullest and never allow anymore regrets for not having done your best should from today.
You are unique and special let not your pasts tell you otherwise.
@suntomm (18)
• China
27 Jan 13
your post is very exciting.i also agee with your point of view.people should look forward rather than the reverse.sad the past is not as good
as enjoying the future.everyone lives in the current not in the past.a man always in the past grow older fast.
1 person likes this
@artemeis (4194)
• China
13 Feb 13
I am sorry for this late comment as I did not receive any notifications that my post for this topic was responded. It is not your fault but the admin here.
I am glad that this post has put some perspective for you and that you have been reminded to live your fullest for today while we let yesterdays be bygones and tomorrows take care by themselves. Excess baggage just drags you down and it is only sensible to carry what you need as you go about on your trip of a lifetime.
@tanvirnabi123 (126)
•
27 Jan 13
Hello artemeis
Your topic is very relevant in the sense that we need to move forward.This forward moving will be very meaningful if we avoid mistakes. It is better not to repeat that past error. Going back to the past is pointless. The mistakes that we have made in the past can be a great way to learning for life. Human limitation is well recognized but huge human potentialities need to be encouraged.Excess passion for past may make one slow and careless to the newness.
Tanvir Nabi
1 person likes this
@artemeis (4194)
• China
13 Feb 13
I believe that's probably why the tortoises or snails are ever so slow and it is probably the weight they are carrying with them on their backs which in fact seemingly their entire house if you get what I mean here.
I don't have a single doubt that we will never move on and be successful even if we live our life for the past. The past is like a read page which needs to be flipped in order the book could be finished. It is also precisely why we do not read a book backwards.
@Rainegurl (2156)
• Philippines
27 Jan 13
Nicely said.
Always choose to move on. It's not good to be too uncaring but it is also not good to punish yourself repeatedly on the mistakes you committed. It is alright to acknowledge mistakes and just make amends on the people you hurt and make sure you do not make further damage.
Have a nice day!
@artemeis (4194)
• China
3 Feb 13
We would be uncaring when we refuse to move on, at the least to ourselves when we refuse to accept reality and let it go. There's so much out there when we live in each present moment and the coming future which is really more than our past can ever give and much more, to handle.
The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise with the occasion. As our case is new, so we must think anew and act anew. - Abraham Lincoln.
@jugsjugs (12967)
•
26 Jan 13
I feel that I have carried a lot of baggage with me for a long time, some is hard to just forget about.I take one day at a time no matter what, but it seems that some days are harder than others.I do feel that we should all let things go over our heads rather than hitting our hearts, also try to worry about things that may or may not happen in the future, causes a lot of stress that can make us ill.Lets hope 2013 is a good year for us all.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
26 Jan 13
Absolutely.
There is no need to keep living and looking back at the past.
The past is a good example to remember and a reminder- but we are not condemned to live with it our whole life.
I feel sad for those who never let go of their past and allow the bad memories to haunt them down.
I have been to the most down moment of my life in the past- but that gives me the best lesson of life.
Instead of shutting myself inside the dark past- I stood up with my head up high and show the world that I am stronger than those big trials and storm that wants to put me down.
I have won the battles- and successfully drove the dev*l out of my sight.
Now I am a new person, my past is still there we cannot change the past, but we can make our future a better one if we only believe.
@artemeis (4194)
• China
28 Jan 13
As you've said it, I am sure no one would ever go about our trip or walk to reach our destination when we keep our eyes over our backs instead of the end point or in the literal sense here - success.
We should always look forward and the front direction when we need to move in the right direction or most of all, forward. Otherwise, we would probably finding ourselves at the odd end walking backwards in the crowd or driving the car on reverse gear on the highway. Not forgetting, that we wouldn't be achieving anything at the end of the day.
People use to say that they loose everything when they fall out of a bad relationship but if it is a bad one then there's really no relationship to begin with. Rather than being dragged into it further and end up even more beat up I don't see it as a lost. We lost a loser and if I may add someone who does not fit into your life at all.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
27 Jan 13
Thanks for that wonderful reminder. I have also been carrying quite a load and have forgotten to look at better things in life.
Having that positive attitude, forgetting the past and forgiving oneself will surely make anyone have a better life.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
5 Feb 13
Yeah! And I have realized that. Good thing i was able to realize to let go of those excess baggage. It's really hurting my arms!
@artemeis (4194)
• China
13 Feb 13
I think you need to remember that people do not want to be bitten repeatedly but in real life such bumps isn't about lampposts or fire hydrants that looks the same. Besides to repeatedly bump into them doesn't mean that we beg for it but some legitimate reasons like I know of a famous shopping haunt which literally place their fire hydrants on the walking passage of their store.
Like online dating, where the risk of failure and incompatibility is so high but I don't think you see memberships dropping. Yet, the success rate never increased but interestingly people are still at it despite being unsuccessful for umpteen times.
Then, there are the hopeless romantics or sentimentalists who will believe that they have their right to dream and do whatever it takes to meet their Mr. Right. So, you need to understand that not everyone has the same resolve and evolve like us. However, I believe that as friends we should always remember to help them and advise them whenever we can like this post to awaken some people into looking on another side which they had ignored or refused.
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
26 Jan 13
This reminds me of a quote saying "depression is to live in the past, anxiety is to live in the future, to live in the present is to be at peace."
That's true though, if you carry so much emotional baggage the only person you are hurting is yourself. And it's not worth hurting for something that doesn't give any good. There is no point in putting yourself in that kind of agony because the people around you probably aren't affected with whatever it is you are still holding on to after a long amount of time. It's better to pour your energy into carrying virtues and positivity rather than carrying all these unnecessary burdens in your life.
@artemeis (4194)
• China
29 Jan 13
Good understanding.
I'd like to add on to what you had posted about carrying baggage here. I take it that you have gone on a holiday trip before where you would notice how cumbersome and a burden our carry on and luggage can be. I don't know about you but I always find great relief when they are being stowed away during my journey and sightseeing. I am sure we would never be able to enjoy ourselves when we are carrying too many things with us - imagine carrying your baggage to do bungee jumping, even if you allow yourself to it I am sure the bungee cord will not be able to accommodate this.
So, besides carrying baggage of the past we should never take on too many excess baggage as we move along our paths.
@MyLeeian (18)
• Saudi Arabia
26 Jan 13
Try to move on. Always keep that in your mind. Focus your self what will you be in the future. Don't let the past ruined what you are now. It is not bad to think your past mistakes in your life because you've learned from it, but you have to change or modify yourselves into a better one so that it will lead to your great success.
@artemeis (4194)
• China
3 Feb 13
Sometimes I wonder if it is a good thing when we could not treat our memories like those in our sophisticated computer hard drives. So, it is natural that we would recall our pasts from time to time but I don't think it is a bad thing when we are likely to repeat our mistakes if we do not remember our erroneous pasts. I believe we need to be in perspective with our memories a.k.a. histories which when we do not let it overcome us like excess baggage, could serve us an early warning system and provide a great deal of help.
Arnold Toynbee once said "Civilization is a movement and not a condition, a voyage and not a harbor" so, we need to move on and it is not an option when we want to be successful. "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." - Confucius.
@suntomm (18)
• China
26 Jan 13
your post is very exciting.i also agee with your point of view.people should look forward rather than the reverse.sad the past is not as good
as enjoying the future.everyone lives in the current not in the past.a man always in the past grow older fast.
@artemeis (4194)
• China
28 Jan 13
Nicely put here.
Along your lines, let me join you by adding a line I caught on a movie I watched over the weekend which went on like this - "Why don't you let go? Move on with your life. It's (life) not about what happened in the past or what you think might happen in the future. It's about the ride, for Christ's sake. There's no point going through all this crap, if you're not gonna enjoy the ride."
"And you know what? When you least expect it, something great might come along, something even better than you planned for."
Even if the past is the opposite of damnable or abominable, I believe it is still simply history and the page needs to be flipped. I am sure we wouldn't want to ride a roller coaster repeatedly in a theme park when there other rides of your life around. There are choices and always also, in abundance as well. So, I hope you would choose and choose wisely when the time comes.
@mensab (4200)
• Philippines
26 Jan 13
yes, you are right. no one deserves to carry excess emotional baggages for a long time. i like your analogy with the airline regulations on excess baggage. for me, there is no point of trying to return the time back where things could have been. there are so many things in this world that could have been, but they already have happened. it is wise to accept and move on learning the experiences.
@artemeis (4194)
• China
28 Jan 13
I firmly believe that there's always a choice for everyone here. All of us need to realize that we are actually depriving ourselves of opportunities to move on, be the better person and most of all, the happiness we all deserve.
Like baggage. we need them to be stowed away when we want to have space in the airplane cabin, closet when we are in the house and out enjoying ourselves when we are enjoying ourselves on a holiday sightseeing tour. Lugging it would simply drag us down and prevent us from accommodating new sights and wonderful experiences.
So, whether you make it through the day happy or sad is really up to you.
@subhojit10 (7375)
• India
26 Jan 13
Thanks a ton for sharing this discussion. Well yes u are absolutely right, we should not think negative if any hardships or challenges comes in our life as life is all about ups and downs and we have to face them with a brave heart. Thinking hard about the failures will never go in our favor. So we need to learn and take it to our experience.
What say?
