What is the role of the mother-in-law in Mexican culture?
By dragon54u
@dragon54u (31634)
United States
January 31, 2013 10:38am CST
I am American, about to be blessed with a Mexican daughter in law! My son is marrying her on February 4th and I'm flying there for the wedding. It's a civil ceremony here in the states but she'll live in Mexico for a few months--long story, not important here.
My question is what do Mexicans think of mothers-in-law and what are my responsibilities, if any. How do I treat her mother? Is there anything special that I should say to her mother, like thank you for raising such a wonderful child? (she has to be if my son loves her!) I've never met her or the family since I live in the east and my son lives in the west, 1800 miles away.
I don't want to act inappropriately or say the wrong thing. Anyone have any experience with this type of bi-national marriage?
1 person likes this
1 response
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
31 Jan 13
well, since Im a mexican woman.. I know aliitle about this. Her in Mexico.. mother in laws are a big part of ones family. They take care of the kids.. Most mother in laws here, really look out for their kids. Even after they are married.. Good luck..
2 people like this
@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
31 Jan 13
I was hoping to hear from you!
That's good news because when I move back to Arizona they should be settled and when they have children I'm completely ready to provide daycare if she wants to work.
How should I treat her mother? I thought of welcoming her to our family and telling her we are sisters now but then I thought maybe I should keep my feelings to myself. Should I take her a gift? I'm giving my daughter in law a gift, a gold necklace with a charm that says "#1 Daughter" so she will know I completely accept her. (I have no daughters right now and am so excited!)
1 person likes this
@HeresTheScoop (748)
• United States
31 Jan 13
Hi. I'm not mexican but I am a mother of 2 adult boys, men. Some of their friends are and their families are very welcoming! So maybe a necklace will be great. I know what you mean about being excited for a daughter-in-law, I went overboard. The first time we met her was at Christmas. I bought 4 gifts for her, they weren't expensive but it was a bit much for her. When they went home and he asked her what she thought of us (mom and dad) she said I was a little too friendly and that was weird for her. Getting her a gift is fine, but maybe not #1 Daughter, yet. It sounds like you already bought it so keep it for a present down the road. It will mean a lot more to her because you'll know each other better and it will have a sentimental value.
I can tell you are a caring person because you are asking these questions and want to do the right thing. That will be fun getting to know her customs and traditions. There children are going to be very blessed also for having 2 parents with 2 different backgrounds and seeing both sides getting along. Your new daughter-in-law will get to learn your customs and traditions also.
Congratulations to you and your son!!
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
31 Jan 13
Thanks, HeresTheScoop! I'm so happy to have a daughter at last--sons are the best but I did miss having a "little me" to bring up. I knew a lot of Mexican people when I lived in Arizona and worked with a few, too, but never discussed anything like this with them as my boys were so little back then.
I'm sure it will go fine. It will be a real experience--I'll be seeing my ex and his wife, both my sons and a whole new family. I'm looking forward to it. 
Maybe I'll just do as my mother always did when she was unsure of how to behave--watch and learn.
Maybe I'll just do as my mother always did when she was unsure of how to behave--watch and learn.