i am not a BANK.

It is really hard to say "NO" to a friend or to your family. And I think this is the trait that we need to develop. Let them rant out and get upset. Just let them know your situation. You've got 3 kids to feed as well.

I understand the feeling so much you have no idea! When my husband got his settlement my parents asked us to borrow some money... They said it wasn't much that they needed so we agreed. Then they told us the amount and everything changed! They asked us if they could have $5,000!!! WHAT!?! We are not a bank and cannot afford to loan that kind of money to anyone... We knew they would be angry with us when we said we could not do it but we gave them what we could afford at the time and they had to get over it... We are not rich and because we helped so many people with his settlement we are broke and struggling now. Bad move on our part... Lesson learned. I understand how you feel and your just going to have to deal with people being mad about it. They will get over it in time. And if not, then they were not worth being in your life anyway.

If it's the same people do this over and over again, it is time to put some distance between yourself and them and make it clear that the "bank" is now closed. That should be true whether they are "friends" or relatives. While a lot of people have had to turn to a friend or family member at some point for a loan to help get through a rough patch, these people are abusing your generosity.

I can totally relate to you. I guess it's in our culture. If you have a job, people around us think we have extra money to lend them. They think we never run out of money since there's money coming regularly. I stopped lending them money first,because I don't have spare to lend them and if I do, I still won't lend some to them. Let them know that you don't work for them, that you have a family to prioritize, and it's not easy to earn money. If once you lent them and they never paid, never lend them again. If they pay you after a long time, let's say after two years or more, never lend them money again, ever! It's not that you don't want to help them, it's just that you have to let them understand that you are working for your family and not for them, they might as well work hard for themselves. If they expressed that they felt being ignored or not being helped at, just ignore. You know I just hate those people who are only nice to you when they want to borrow money, but when they've already got what they wanted, they'd suddenly ignore you as if you never exist at all. It's very common, that's one fact of life I hate the most. I borrow money too, and I pay it as soon as I have the money, and if circumstances prevent me to pay the money immediately I'd talk to the person whom I borrowed the money and explain my situation so they would understand. Oh, money really causes some tension between our relationship with people sometimes!

This is one misconception of the people from our country. They thought that if you have job or would see you in office attire, you are already very rich and they can ask or borrow money from you anytime. I also have an experience wherein one of my neighbor who borrowed money did not pay back but it's okay, at lest now they don't come to me anymore to borrow again. Have a nice day!

Yeah I know how you feel. I do not have work as of yet because I'm still a student but my friends are somewhat like that. And what hurts the most is when they don't even make an effort to pay me back. Even if they pay me 1 peso, it would've been fine to me. But they don't. I'm afraid all we can do about this is be patient and hope that eventually they'll see how what they're doing to us hurts, especially to our pockets.

This is really sad when it is happening like this... People who lends money should be taken into consideration when it is time to pay.. when we let people borrow our money, it is almost always just a margin of extra cash we have.. and they should know that too. I hate it when someone borrows money from me and pretends as if it did not happen... like when i give them hints, they act as if they haven't heard anything about it. Sometimes the more you help them the more they are just abusing your kindness. When you tell them to pay, they would make it appear as though you do not understand them and their situation.. but they also have to understand your situation! hehe i think next time you will have to just turn them down... so they do not always have you in mind when they are short on cash. You have gotta stand up (they are family or relatives or close to you - they should understand that and not take it against you.

I can very much understand your sentiments, as i am also undergoing the same thing too. My salary was just yesterday and i have been trying to budget it for me to be able to save some extra for family savings. But the family of my husband is always running to us for some money, i know it is just small amounts but just the thought of it and the lack of consideration is what really irritates me. I have been working my butt off with no sleep at nights just to earn some and what with all the bills that i have to pay and like you i also have three small kids to feed and send to school? I mean can't they look for somewhere else to borrow money too? I mean come on! Its too much!

I know this feeling oh so well.My children of all ages seem to think that I am either a bank, or that I have a money tree at the bottom of my garden. I like hear the words I want, I have got to have rare do I hear the words I need. Then I hear the words its only a tenner, only right each time they open their mouth the words its only, crazes me.If I say no, they moan, but a roof over our head is far more important than some game or points to buy a game that also cost only this tenner they keep saying.

So, you're also a victim, huh? People close to us tends to think that since we have something in our pockets that it is our obligation to help them out every single time that they need us. And that should put to stop. We have our own families to take care of, which is the primary reason why we work.

Well, if I understand your question correctly, your pay day was supposed to be yesterday, you have not "seen" your money deposited into your bank account. Certainly it is not nice at all. I also seem to have realized that there are people around to you that you are asking for the loan, and you ... you're not sure of a bank to lend money at all, since you have borne three children from having to maintain! I know it's bad to say, but sometimes life has such unpleasant surprises.

Just state the truth to them as you state to us, and maybe in the process tell them after having said all these, that you NEED to borrow from them instead given the state you are in. Do it often, and I am sure they will drop you from their call list of "banks". The other way is to them you are indeed a bank....a bankrupt!!!!

Well, I do have a fair share of experiences like that too. What I do is just a simple things. I approach such kind of dilemma in a very unemotional manner. If I do have money to be lent I will lend them up without any reactions or with the I don't care that much attitude in letting them borrow. Also, when I have no money and they want to borrow, I don't feel guilty enough to not be able to lend them some. Being unemotional to such situations help get rid of not wanting them to get upset. I just show them that I don't have money to lend them out so a firm no is given out. Your problem roots to the emotions os you better cut it out so you can solve the issue.

it was ur fault somehow. They got used to you lending them. Change a bit... I know where ure coming from. U think of ur kids first, their needs. They get upset with u,they'll get over it. ;-)

hi jazel juan Thats awful when people come begging just cause they know you got paid yesterday. I do not blame you for thinking that think you are the First united Bank of So and So.Perhaps you can pretend you are bankrupt so they will have to find another person willing to lend them that money. I caan imagine if they do not payback what they have already borrowedt definitely you are going to close the Jazel Juan bank.

This seems like a scammy type of bank. Ive nevr had my bank do this.....Maybe you should consider switching to a credit union orsome other more ethical bank.

You gotta reverse the roles...I have been there and done that...you start asking them loans, and forget to repay them.... Or if you prefer, borrow from banks, and repay installments. When anybody approaches you, tell them you have to clear loans. This is the method I have adopted. It is quite successful if you do not have a father who believes in lending to get praises. :)

I know the feeling. I use to have friends like that, and family as well. It felt as if they are using me and the worst part of it sometimes they don't know to pay back which they have borrowed. Until it reached a point where I got upset and just kept saying no, even if I had it or not. I didn't care again if they called me mean or such but I couldn't take it. I had concerns of my own that I needed to make. And if they dont have the audacity to recognize that I have a life of my own as well then I don't see why I should lend them the money in the first place. It really got to me. I kinda know how you feel. You need to explain to them that you have a life as well. That is the only way. And start to tell them know, they need to understand that you are serious.

When I was into teaching, I used to do cash advances if I ran out of money. Now that I am no longer connected with any establishment, I have to do it on my own, I do not go to anyone to borrow because that can be embarrassing. I have a sister who I know has money but I avoid borrowing if I fall short. I don't know but I guess God just provides if you ask Him. If someone comes to me to borrow money, I am sure that my answer would be negative because as you said, we don't have that much cash.

This happened to em when I was schooling. I was regarded as rich and my classmates who had money problems would often ask me for a small loan when they are tough position. One even asked me to cover her tuition fee. Anyway, this kinda happens too with my family. but it is always connected to the household expenses. My aunt would say that I should pay it first and she will reimbursed it alter. But the irritating factor is that when I am asking her to reimburse me, she pulls out the 'duty' card. Would have been ideal is everybody has own magic money tree.