Well that wasn't helpful!

Tweet

So, I had an anxiety attack last night.. first one I've ever had, that I know of. I may have had milder ones before that weren't recognized, but last nights was pretty severe. I honestly didn't even know I had anxiety until last night. So I went to urgent care last night, and my docs office this morning. I've been taken out of work and put on meds again. My anxiety at the moment is primarily due to my job and the stressed caused by it. The job itself is stressful.. but it's also partly me. I find it stressful to juggle things, primarily work.. it's been building up for awhile but I like showing and thinking that things are okay.. but I guess they weren't, hence the severe anxiety attack. So, I've got some things to deal with here.. not only the realization that I've always had anxiety without recognizing it.. but also I need some unbiased guidance about whether or not it's worth it to continue working (hubby and primary doc think not). Last night after the urgent care visit I decided I would go see hubby's counselor to get that guidance and try to talk through things. I'd seen him before.. but hadn't in awhile. Honestly I'm not crazy about seeing him which is why I hadn't for so long.. but hubby has been doing okay and I figured it would be a quick, easy way to speak to someone since there's no waiting to get an appointment. He saw me today at 4pm. I sat down and started telling him about work. He didn't really listen.. just started drawling on and on about the "corporate" work force and how those with money and power like treating their little peons like worthless drones. I tried to correct him. My problems with my job aren't coming from "corporate". They're coming directly from the people I work with, as well as myself and my own anxiety/depression. I do realize I'm not the only one with problems.. I'm very astute about these things, at least I think I am. So when I started to disagree he got angry and started yelling at me. Asked me why I have to argue, why do I always have to be right? Then he says "If this is how you act with your husband, I can understand why he's frustrated and burned out" which is untrue. My husband has a slew of his own problems from childhood which have nothing to do with me. I tried a few more times to explain myself and what I wanted to accomplish.. but everytime I'd start he'd interrupt me and attack me again.. and even started swearing at me. I ended up just walking out after about 25 minutes of this.. it was supposed to be an hour long session. I'm just shocked. I don't understand why I got that sort of treatment.. he was obviously ticked off about something.. but that was just so wrong to take it out on me when I'd already had a very difficult day. Just made my day that much worse.