You Are in State of Undress, said the Policeman
By cynthiann
@cynthiann (18602)
Jamaica
January 31, 2013 10:27pm CST
Having lived a long time, I have been in many awkward situations both sad and funny. I don't know why. I left Girls' Day with my GD and a friend. My GD wanted to drive with my GF and so we set off to my home which was less than 15 mins drive away.
I drove for about two minutes when I felt a a searing, dreadful pain on my back as something had bit me. The thingy then crawled around my back before investigating what I had in the front of my body. I panicked. Signalled and stopped the car as I thought it may have been a scorpion bite.
My GF also stopped and came to find me tearing off my blouse and cameo top. I begged her to shake them outside of the car. No, it was still on my body so with her help I then removed my bra and jeans for her to shake outside of the car in case the scorpion was on my clothes. And no, the panty stayed on as no bites there.
My GF then produced a small flask of white rum to pour on the bites. White rum may be used for drinking but it is overproof rum - deadly - and is used as a panacea for headaches and all sorts of things including insect bites. So the rum was poured quite liberally over the bites. The pain on my back was so bad that I elected to drive home without putting on clothes as I only had about a ten minute drive so what could go wrong? And I could not bear anything to touch my back. So, I kind of draped my shirt across my chest and put on my seat belt.
So off we went again with me leading and well, I wasn't exactly speedy but going just a little fast as I wanted to reach home and take meds for the pain.
Five minutes or so before I reached home, I got stopped by the police who were sneakily hidden behind some trees. I wanted to die.
The policeman looked at me and said that I was in a state of undress. He also stated that he smelled rum.
I may be in a state of undress officer, I replied, but I do have my seat belt on.
And of course you smell rum Officer, I said. It is on my scorpion bites. and the bites are mostly on my back and you can look at those but not the bites on my front, and please don't ask me to get out of the car.
I unbuckled the seat belt and clutching my shirt leaned forwards.
He agreed that the bites were nasty looking and my GF who had pulled over said that she had poured the rum on the bites and he thought that was a good thing to do and he understood my fear of the scorpion still in my clothes.
So we reached home and I bathed and shoved clothes in washing machine, took meds and hopped around until then pain subsided.
My son then arrived and my GD went out to greet him. He stood frozen in the doorway in horror and asked me to tell him that it wasn't true that I had driven home naked and got stopped by the police. Please tell me that you didn't do this, he begged.
And it was then that I began to laugh. I don't suppose any of you have a similar story to relate?
The policeman looked at me and said that I was in a state of undress. He also stated that he smelled rum.
I may be in a state of undress officer, I replied, but I do have my seat belt on.
And of course you smell rum Officer, I said. It is on my scorpion bites. and the bites are mostly on my back and you can look at those but not the bites on my front, and please don't ask me to get out of the car. I unbuckled the seat belt and clutching my shirt leaned forwards.
He agreed that the bites were nasty looking and my GF who had pulled over said that she had poured the rum on the bites and he thought that was a good thing to do and he understood my fear of the scorpion still in my clothes.
So we reached home and I bathed and shoved clothes in washing machine, took meds and hopped around until then pain subsided.
My son then arrived and my GD went out to greet him. He stood frozen in the doorway in horror and asked me to tell him that it wasn't true that I had driven home naked and got stopped by the police. Please tell me that you didn't do this, he begged.
And it was then that I began to laugh. I don't suppose any of you have a similar story to relate?8 people like this
10 responses
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
1 Feb 13
It always seems surreral some how. I don't plan these things at all. But they just seem to happen. Happy to see you here again and wishing you a wonderful new year
3 people like this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
1 Feb 13
You always get yourself into the craziest of situations. I've never heard of anything like it.. and of course I've never been through anything like it.
I assume the scorpions that bit you were not deadly or dangerous, since you live to tell the tale. Are you feeling better now?
2 people like this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
1 Feb 13
There are different types of scorpions I believe.. some probably not as dangerous as others.
So you don't know what it was that bit you at all?
I think you should still see a doctor and be checked out since you don't know what bit you. There are other things to consider. If it was a rodent (doubtful) you might face having rabies. Other insects may have other poisons. Wouldn't hurt to just have them looked at and maybe give a blood sample to check for toxins in your system.
2 people like this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
1 Feb 13
Kat I made a mistake and apologise. The word I should have used was centipede not scorpions. We do not have scorpions. I just expplained to Carmel that I have this word problem since surgery. Come out with a word close to the one I want and don't recognise the mistake sometimes. I will reach my optimum by June. It was the result of long hours of anaesthetic. The bites have reduced in size and not hurting badly. If they were still inflamed then I would go to the doctor. Thank you for showing concern and sorry for error in word used
2 people like this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
1 Feb 13
I don't look for these situations - they just happen. Not scorpion bite as they are not hurting now. If it was a scorpion I would have had to go to a doctor - buth they are not deadly either. Feel very lazy ttoday and much better aznd the size of the bites are decreasing. It was funny though - now I mean - not when it happened
2 people like this
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
6 Feb 13
Well, my aunt was a model and was dressed in some sort of peacock attire and got pulled over once for drunk driving. She was not one to drink but she was very eccentric and had the mask on as well as the glittery body suit with fishnet stockings, feathers on her head as well as her backside. Quite a site if you can imagine.
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
6 Feb 13
This is a wonderful story. Can you imagination the reaction when she got out of her car!
I would have loved to have been there.
I would have loved to have been there. @carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
1 Feb 13
Cythiann, I have read or watch a movie when something like this has happened, but I never heard it directly from someone I know. You really started my morning off great with this story, just when I needed a laugh.
See, I only have half my reading done for Psychology, then I will have to writing assignments for this week's reading, on top of that, I have housework that needs to be done that didn't get done earlier this week due to getting my other 4 classes assignments done. Also my son's school is cancelled because the roads are bad, not with just snow, but ice and snow and my neighbor asked if I could help her clean her house today, which with our finances, I couldn't turn her down.
So, really I shouldn't even be here on Mylot, but now that they got the notifications fixed, I had to check my 6 e-mails..
Great, before I was able to submit this, turns out Penny ran off, so now I get to go follow her tracks in the snow...Grrr
Anyways, sorry I turned your very funny story into a rant, but I have to go now, thanks for sharing, it did make my day...
Great, before I was able to submit this, turns out Penny ran off, so now I get to go follow her tracks in the snow...Grrr
Anyways, sorry I turned your very funny story into a rant, but I have to go now, thanks for sharing, it did make my day...2 people like this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
1 Feb 13
Yes, you are a very good driver, you had your seat belt on...
I wouldn't mind cereal for breakfast, but my husband wouldn't like it...
But when it comes to making dinner, my husband is a better cook than I am, so that isn't a big problem, but the cleaning is, especially after I got so sick last year, I want as much dust and dirt cleaned so I don't get sick again..
I wouldn't mind cereal for breakfast, but my husband wouldn't like it... But when it comes to making dinner, my husband is a better cook than I am, so that isn't a big problem, but the cleaning is, especially after I got so sick last year, I want as much dust and dirt cleaned so I don't get sick again..2 people like this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
1 Feb 13
I am glad that your husband cooks. Since surgery I have a problem with some words. I say a word close to the word that I really need. Doctor's said this resulted from anaesthetic for 7 and a half hour surgery. So I apoilogise to everyone but the word should have been centipede not scorpian. We don't have scorpians on the Island. My advice remains the same. Let your son help - appeal to him as he is now a big kid
3 people like this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
1 Feb 13
Just remember that I did have my seat belt on Take a deep breath. You will get through this and get your son to do small jobs re housework to help you and have cereal for dinner!
Take a deep breath. You will get through this and get your son to do small jobs re housework to help you and have cereal for dinner!3 people like this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
1 Feb 13
These things just happen. No, no scandal as he did see the bites - at least the ones on my back And I did have my seat belt on All this in just 15 minutes!
And I did have my seat belt on All this in just 15 minutes!2 people like this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
1 Feb 13
It seems as if you were never stopped by the law until your son got into a governmental seat!
Oh my but atleast the officer understood.
I can't think of anything to top this.
Oh my but atleast the officer understood.
I can't think of anything to top this.2 people like this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
1 Feb 13
Actually, I have a long history of incidents with policemen and will tell you another one at a later date. Yes this was a classic but it was a centipede not a scorpion. No scorpions on Island. Used wrong word But now of course, I have a better chance of them not doing anything like prosecuting me! Well, there has to be some perks to his job and this is not too much to ask is it?
But now of course, I have a better chance of them not doing anything like prosecuting me! Well, there has to be some perks to his job and this is not too much to ask is it?2 people like this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
8 Feb 13
You are my best supporter through the ups and downs of my life. Glad it made you laugh or at least smile and give thanks that you are not living my life
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
3 Feb 13
Once....when I was young and frisky went out parking with a love of mine and we were in a certain state of undress meaning my bra was hanging from the rear view mirror when our neighbor whom happened to be a deputy came to check if we were all right or not since we were parked in a driveway to a field of corn! How embarrasing. I was terrified that he would tell my parents.....if he did they never said anything!
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
3 Feb 13
Oh Jill, I can just imagine your embarrassment. I woujld have wanted to die right there and then. I really don't think that he told hyour parents as your Mom sometime in the following week, would have come to your bedroom for a little talk
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
1 Feb 13
mine is not as funny but jt did happen.In my twenties I w as working as a nurses aide. My nurse friend and I were to pick up her sister at 7 thirty am. WE were working the 3 to 11 shift so we decided to get her sister, take her home and then crawl back into our nice warm beds it being a cold cold day.So off we go in our nighties and robes and slippers. We got to the airport right on time, picked up her sister and started back to town as t he air port w as ten miles o ut from Rapid C ity S.D.
On the wa y back to Rapid the car started to shimmy then bang. The front tire blew out and we skidded into a shallow road side ditch. So there we were two of us dressed for bed and also because Dottie assumed her sister might have a lot of luggage had taken the spare tire out. oh my.so we waited and quite soon a south Dakota state trooper came by . He laughed and asked Dottie who her usual garage was. Then he called for a tow truck and we waited. then he took us back to the garage where we waited while
the mechanic put on a new front tire. Dottie and the trooper
Rand Dottie carried on quite a conversation and he even asked her for a date. We finally got a new tire on her car and drove home.We had to laugh at people's expressions seeing us clad in our night clothes. It twas hilarious.
We got home at a little after eight and slept in til l unch time.
What amused me was that Dottie had not been dating anyone but she and the trooper really hit it off. So at Christmas time they got married. I moved away then but kept in touch with Dottie and was so sad when she told me she had given birth to a little boy who had a bad heart. Then after awhile we lost contact and I have searched for her ever since. ex;i anddddddddddddddddddssssssssssssssssssssssksddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddt c dfs
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
1 Feb 13
That is a great story hatley and I am so happy that y0ur GF married the trooper. What a way to meet
I do hope that they had a happy life together. By the way, this plceman looked only a few years older than my 12 year old granddaughter
I do hope that they had a happy life together. By the way, this plceman looked only a few years older than my 12 year old granddaughter
@artemeis (4194)
• China
18 Feb 13
I thought it could have been the centipede instead of a scorpion because the bite of a scorpion is much more unbearable in terms of pain and I don't think you could even move after a scorpion's sting.
I hope that you are feeling better now and that you would have found what had bitten you. If you cannot vacuum your car, then I suggest that you get some sulphur (powdered) pour it into a few small canister like a used car fragrance or used tuna can and then place them under your car seats for a few days. It will definitely drive out every kind of critters like centipedes, ants, scorpions and even snakes out of your car.
I don't have anything similar to relate but I'd like to tell you that I've enjoyed reading your post here.
