I was so devastated!
By kiepher
@kiepher (55)
Philippines
February 2, 2013 3:11am CST
I was so inlove with this guy, but he don't want anybody to know, atleast then, about our relationship. He said he wanted to have a child with me and so we planned having one but not so soon, we still need to earn and save so we can provide well for our child. We were abroad that time and relationship with a workmate is a NO,NO. Then I heard a hearsay that this guy I am inlove with is having an affair with somebody else, I barely believe because I just wanted to believe on this guy's words,and so he say none and I believe him,by this time he promised me marriage and then I got pregnant. I had to render my resignation because I really don't want to be repatriated, and so I did go home. When I'm finally home, he announced that he don't love me anymore and he got another girl pregnant and that girl is the one he wanted to marry. I was so devastated, I didn't know what to do then, I was barely 5-months-pregnant and he got himself another pregnant girl?..Gosh..It pains me a lot to reminisce the pain now but I have to, so to unload..My son is four-months-old now.. I'm moving on by now atleast, and thanks God I have a very understanding parents, they were by my side on this very down part of my life. I'm writing this so maybe somebody will learn from my mistakes or maybe just giving something to ponder for someone out there having the same situation like mine..
5 people like this
22 responses
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
2 Feb 13
Sorry to hear about your story. I had a similar situation on my daughter's father. Our relationship was a secret also and I was so in love with him. We were abroad that time also, and when the time I got pregnant, I found out that he had another girl and he told me that he didn't want the child I was carrying coz he really love the other girl. So I decided to come back here in Philippines to have a family support, to support me emotionally coz I got really depressed. Ever since after that, I haven't communicate with him coz I know he didn't wanna communicate with me also coz he abandoned his own child already. And now my daughter is 8 years old and I am so happy that I have a lovable and smart girl. It was nice to have a family who supported me on that time.
You are lucky also that you have an understanding parents. Just be happy with your son and forget about his father. He is not a good father.
1 person likes this
@kiepher (55)
• Philippines
4 Feb 13
Thank you!..Are you married now?. My mother always tell me that soon I can also get someone who is deserving of my love and someone who'll gonna cherish and love me for whoever I am, but I doubt it.. I think I'm not capable of loving anymore and that I don't deserve someone whose like that anymore..
2 people like this
@vernaC (1491)
• Romania
2 Feb 13
Such a painful experience. So I guess he just waited for you to go home huh. I know revenge is not such a good idea but If I were on your shoes, I think I will leave messages and pictures of my baby and some evidence that will prove we have a relationship and the baby is his to him and his new girl. Not to bring him back to my life but at least let him taste even a little pain. Then goodluck to him and his new relationship.
1 person likes this
@kiepher (55)
• Philippines
2 Feb 13
thanks, i already did those...my baby and the guy looks perfectly the same, he can never deny that my baby is his, adding to that, he knew that he was the only guy in my life..The girl knew my situation even before she got pregnant, because I still manage to tell everybody my situation the day I went home, but still things happened.
1 person likes this
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
2 Feb 13
Nobody will learn from this, especially not the men. Something similair happened to me, only I did not have any help of my parents/family. congratulations with your son. I am sure you will make it and please do not see this as a mistake. Believing someone is not a mistake, neither is doubting someone btw. There are just people who love to abuse and lie. Believe me he won't end up great.
1 person likes this
@MissPiggy (1748)
• Indonesia
2 Feb 13
I am so sorry to hear your story. It might not be so easy to do but you have to let go, there's always a bless in disguise. Right now this bless might be your son. Just like what Kitty said, that guy won't learn anything, but I'm so sure he would fail so damn hard in his life. There's always a punishment for every mistake. Whether this punishment would make us better or worse, only God knows. So I hope you move on although it's not easy, but hey, you have your son and he's your strength. God bless you. 
1 person likes this
@smiling_ja (261)
• Philippines
2 Feb 13
Not every one who have gone through that ordeal has the same courage and resolve such as yours. Good thing you have a very supportive parents otherwise it would have been a slow and painful phase in your life. Some men and women alike has it in their being to play well in others emotion and take advantage of other's weaknesses for their own gain. Working in a foreign land somehow added to your vulnerability as you had to battle with homesickness. As they say, what goes around comes around so in due time, he'll pay for all his shortcomings.
1 person likes this
@teotimoponcerosacena (1551)
• Philippines
2 Feb 13
In the beginning there was problem he don't want your relation to be made in public meaning he was hiding something. In your part you still insist on your illicit relation, bad you give yourself a false hope. Anyway what happened cannot be undone moved on, it's not the end of the world. Your baby need you.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
6 Feb 13
Weird as it may sound, I think that is a great story...especially the ending. You have a beautiful son, the support of your parents and the ratbag cheater is gone from your life.
What would be devastating is if he had chosen you. This is a person who you never want to have anything to do with. I feel so sorry for the girl he chose and I'm thinking she probably knows nothing about you.
@artemeis (4194)
• China
3 Feb 13
I am glad that your baby and you are doing well despite being played and abandoned by your (ex)boyfriend. I don't know exactly what was going on especially the part that convince you to have a baby without getting married. I am wondering if you have ever suspected that he is married when he do not want anybody to know about the relationship between the both of you.
For what you do not know, the other girl may actually be his legitimate wife. If not, then I assure you that you've met the best smooth talking Casanova of your time. Anyway, I believe nothing is more important than your child and yourself. Pick yourself up and live the best way you possibly can. Just don't give him the satisfaction of smirking at you at the other corner.
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
9 Feb 13
The fact that he didn't want anyone to know about the relationship should have rung a warning bell. However, you heard it too late. God bless your parents for being understanding and loving.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
2 Feb 13
It's good that you still chose to have the child even if the guy turned his back from you. And also, your loving parents are there to support you, so that makes even greater.
However, what are your plans now? Will you let the guy know about your baby? Will you allow your child to know who is his father?
1 person likes this
@kiepher (55)
• Philippines
4 Feb 13
I planned not to let him see my son, but my parents advice me to let him but not to the point of bringing my baby home, only a visit can do, so to let him taste the pain of not always being with my son. He cries everytime he see my son according to my parents because I'm seeing to it that I wasn't there whenever he visit my baby. But in time that it pained him a lot not to see my baby, I will never let him see my baby anymore, my son will surely understand me in due time. I have my father there to give a father figure anyway..Thanks, guys for the sympathy, its makes the situation even more bearable for me..Now I know that even I jump into a wrong decision in the past I felt like I still made something good atleast..
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
2 Feb 13
On the first place, when he told you that the relationship should not be made known to anyone, smells fishy already. Doing that would mean that he can still court another girl, because no one knows except you that he has a girlfriend already.
Well, you are lucky that your parents are supportive of you. Just concentrate in finding another job, so you can have the means to sustain your child and you.
That man doesn't deserve you. He will surely do something like that again if you ended up marrying him. 
1 person likes this
@Aja103654 (5644)
• Philippines
4 Feb 13
You were a fool for love. We all experience this when we fall in love. Yours was a fatal mistake. Having the relationship secret is already a red flag.
The least he could have done was not get you pregnant. But I don't know this guy, he is despicable.
In love, you don't have to give up everything. Be wise. If you love someone, don't be afraid to doubt them, always always seek the truth even if it will hurt you. Now it is too late and you have lost your job and your love. Hang in there and take good care of your child.
1 person likes this
@pomwango (1353)
• Kenya
2 Feb 13
Hi Kiepher,very sorry about what you went through but am happy for you that you made the right decision to have your child and your family stood by you.I think the red flag was up when he insisted your relation is a secret for just you two, if you love someone so much you should not care too much about rules and who will know and he should have helped you look for another job so that you could move on even if you worked in the same office.you have learn't now though a painful way but next time you will be wiser and i hope you meet a nice man deserving of your love.
1 person likes this
@prettysexybrainy (189)
• Philippines
3 Feb 13
Hello kie! Everything has its own reasons. You are not alone! .Always bare in mind that God is always at our side. Take it as a lesson. Be strong and have faith. There is somebody for someone. You will be taken care of the right man just be wise this time. Love you.
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
2 Feb 13
So sorry for what you went through and now raising a child on your own. Thank goodness you have understanding parents. I know you will learn the mistakes you made with this guy. When a guy does not want anyone to know they are dating you that is a big RED FLAG. Run the other way as fast as you can. I surely hope that you find a good man in the future who will truly love you and your son. Good luck and God Bless.
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
3 Feb 13
Your parents did a poor job teaching you how to find a good guy.
First thing, any time a guy says "don't tell anyone about us", what he's saying is "I'm cheating with different girls, and I don't want them to find out about you, or you them."
When I guy really loves a girl, and really wants something *REAL*, he's going to tell everyone. Guys!!! Look at this girl I found! WOW! Isn't she wonderful? You gotta meet this girl I'm going to marry!
Second, if he tries to sleep with you before you are married... he doesn't love you. A guy who is NOT WILLING TO WAIT, does not love you.
If he says "No I'm not going to wait for marriage! Sleep with me now or it's over!"
That guy doesn't love you.
Sad part is, you only get one first time. Don't do this again. Learn from your mistakes. Find a good man, not a scummy boy.
@sender621 (14893)
• United States
3 Feb 13
This does not sound like a very solid relationship. It seems like the guy you are involved with wants to play it both ways. He want you to have his baby but he doesn't want anyone to know of the relationship you share together. He seems to have been using you for his own needs. I am sorry for the situation you are in and hope ou can find a way to rise above it. Your child will need you and your strength. It does not sound like this guy wants to shoulder any of the relationship or parenting responsibilities. Take care and good luck.
@dollar3235 (2062)
• India
2 Feb 13
I'm sorry to know about your situation. On one side you're unlucky that you got involved with such a fraud but on the other side you're lucky that you've got such a nice parents.
Wish you all the best in your life..may god bless you! 
@binaybbsr1 (375)
• India
2 Feb 13
Dear friend, no one learns from others experience and I dont think you had not read or listened this type of incidents before. The very fact is that your judgement was wrong and now, if you can face this challenge bravely, you will be a stronger. Dont think that you have lost something, rather you should thank Him that he could save you from a dark future. Its easy for us to counsel and say all big philosophies, but you are to implement it. Ve a nice future.
@lisacope (82)
•
2 Feb 13
I would always be suspicious about people wanting to keep a relationship a secret. I just can't think of a legitimate reason that anyone would do that (unless it was in a country where having a relationship with a certain somebody would be dangerous if people found out, or something). I know it's not always easy to be suspicious when you fall for someone, though, because you just want to believe them and hope that everything will work out. I'm sorry you got caught up with him and it ended like it did. You deserved better. I hope you're doing ok with your son? I'm sure you love your son and in that sense something amazing came out of it.
