I feel like I'm a character in a soap opera thanks to my sis in law!!! shes nuts

I know exactly what you mean. My husband has aunts who also have this drama. Sometime ago, we had a birthday celebration for one of my sons. Well, since it was just a small celebration, it was spent only at home. Everybody knew all about it and I have even told his aunts about it. But somehow, I did make some invitations for a few people. You know what happened? They did not come cause they said they didn't receive any invitation! What was that all about? I mean they live just beside my in-law's house and we practically see each other everyday and still they expect an invitation when I have personally told them to come. I have thought about it a lot if I went wrong with that.

I know it's not funny but I'm getting a chuckle out of this. It's nice to read that the market isn't cornered on having "Fd" up in laws

The good thing about being a character in a soap opera is you know how it will end. Take some distance, look at the situation that way yourself and everything will be alright (plus it won't touch/infect you if you watch it that way.. as a soap opera or play).

This is just my humble opinion....so here goes. I wouldn't sit down and have a discussion. I would tell all of them that I have no time for that. I would calmly ask "Do you pay my bill?" and if the answer is no I would keep it moving. Now the issue with your brother in law and husband I just don't understand...they're brothers right? They should be able to hang out without their wives up under them. Is she one of those wives that has to always be up under her husband(only thing I can think of). Remind your husband that his brother married her not him or you. We all have the option of picking our friends, and she seems to not be worth it.

This is unbelievable. Its annoying to have a sister in law who is controlling and manipulative. Sorry. It seems like she wants your life to be an open book for her to read and plan; and compete against. when people act this way they are insecure with low self-esteem. Its sad to know you are bitter and feel almost helpless in the situation but what is your husband opinion about all this? I mean have you openly communicated to him about how your sister in law weird actions make you feel? Probably he could talk to the brother (your sister in law husband). I think that you should embrace the discussions - propose the presence of a neutral person like a church pastor to help maintain sanity in the meeting as things are likely to get ugly. I also find it wise to accept people as they are, be diplomatic and firm, communicate openly to them about the hurt you feel out of their actions; forgive them (does not mean allowing your sister in law to drag you in the mud) and just let them be for the sake of peaciful co-existence. Silence is gold too.

They want to come over and discuss it? Oh wow, good luck with that! Sounds so awkward. Hopefully you can sort it out to the extent that she realises you actually don't have it out for her, and that you want to get on with all of the family. Good luck!!

You're in a no win situation! Unless someone realizes that this woman is self centered and ungiving your life is going to continue to be a soap! When you have the discussion about the issues, ask them if they would have rather had you bring a fussy baby to church! Nothing is worse and more awful for a beautiful ceremony than to have a baby fussing through it all. Then, since it is felt that you HAVE to explain your actions, explain that you planned the trip in advance of the birthday party, and if your sister in law had consulted with you about it in advance, you could have arranged your schedule so that you could attend the birthday party. Come to think of it, how important is it to be in attendance at a birthday party for a very young child? Is she afraid that no one will attend???? I would assume that since the baptism was for her son that he was still very young. So, with his being very young, I am sure he isn't keeping records of who attends his parties. Yes, some people think the world revolves around them. I have an ex-friend who is that way. That is why she ended up as an ex-friend. She was starting to run my life and finances without a second thought. I got very tired of the drama and constant borrowing of funds. I would suggest that you ask your sister in law to, since it is so very important to her, give you a calendar of events for 6 months in advance, that way you could plan your life around her "DEMANDS". Or, if it were me, plan events so that you don't have to go to the events. Also, let her know that her expectations are not reasonable and if she wants you to be at her beck and call she should start paying your bills and that you plan to get very expensive. (I use that quite a bit and it really cools people off very quickly and they decide that my life isn't worth having to work three jobs to support me...especially when I tell them that I want a new Mercedes convertible and an all expense paid trip to Europe.) She needs to learn that she isn't the center of the universe and that not everyone is going to want to treat her like she is a celebrity. And, since you don't talk or see them anymore, it shouldn't be expected that you should know her plans and are working to avoid going to any of her planned events. She really needs to grow up and have a huge reality check. Maybe if she chills out people might want to have contact with her and may even like her a bit better!

You sister in law sound like a conniving witch that just want to make you look bad . I would just plain out stop talking to her and that way she will see it clear that I dont want her around me .

Your SIL is unreasonable. I don't like her. I don't like people who want to be center of grounp. Looks like we should revolve around her. Everyone has their own life, and we have our plan and our difficulty. Why don't she put herself in your shoes? Baby-sitting is fussy. If I were you I won't change my plan, let she come!