My parents are forcing me to arranged marriage

It's very important to marry with the one you love and love's you back. Although we're not in your situation and we can only give you an opinion the decision, of course, will be yours based on your thoughts and feelings. Maybe your parents will be angry because you didn't tell them before about your relationship with your senior but if you feel that your senior is the love of your life you'll have the strength to face your parents. You should explain your parents how much he means to you and that he's a kind, caring man. Sometimes the parents try to input their wishes because they think it's the best choice but in most cases it turns up the choice was wrong and you'll face the consequences. I hope your parents will understand you.

Hi Dassodils! Your problem is really one of the hardest to resolve. It is because you have to choose between the one desired by your heart and the one desired by your parents for you. This would have been easier if it happens decades ago when more modern minds are not yet available and arrange marriages are the more common. Lots of factors make it difficult to decide in this situation -- your family, your culture and tradition, and your own rights to choose the one you'll be with for the rest of your life. Below are the options that I believe you have right now, may I help somehow. First, you might choose to accept the marriage arranged by your parents. I now this would not be that easy because you have your boyfriend by now. This option will let you follow the will of your parents and your culture. We know for sure that no parents will make a decision that will harm their children. I know, the one they have chosen is someone who is a good man. And honestly, when you are with someone who is really good and worth loving, you'll learn to love that person. You'll live peacefully with your parents and the people around you but not with the one you love in the first place. However, you might love him soon. Second, you might choose the beat of your heart. This is still not easy because it requires the courage to go against the will of your parents and of the culture of the people you are with. This might put a gap between you and your parents and they may be humiliated that their option is not followed by you. If it happens, you'll live with the one you love at the expense of your relationship with your parents. However, if you try to talk to them, they might understand you, support you and you'll live happily ever after. Third, you might follow your heart and run away with the one you love. Well, for me, this is a coward move. This is a poor choice, I believe. Therefore, whatever move you will take, it requires great courage to face. Please don't be wrong with your decision because it involves your future. Do lots of prayers and ask for guidance and wisdom as you make your decision. You have 2 years so take 1 step after the other. Hope you'll inform us what will be the result of your decision. We're here to support for your happiness!

I can imagine how hard it is for you since I am aware that arrange marriage is part of your culture. I hope you can marry the one you love. Marriage needs lot of work, adjustments, commitment, etc. and it is best to go through those phases with some you want to spend the rest of your life with. I wish your parents listen to you if ever you decide to talk with them and tell the truth.

it is very hard to say on this one, because i know you are dealing with the obligations of your culture. in our culture, we marry who we want to marry. this way we know that we will truly be happy and not just getting married just to get married. how could you marry another guy knowing your heart belongs to someone else. what would your parents say if you just decided to tell them about your lover. i think you should try and see what they say. if he is a good guy (and he sounds like it) maybe they wouldn't mind you getting married to him instead. no one picked the husband that i have now for me. we have been together for 8 years. i couldn't imagine being with anybody else. i am glad that i have the choice to be with who i want to.

It would be a good idea for you to talk the things out with your parents, and also ask the boy to bring his parents around. You all can get engaged, and continue with studies. Having said that, you are at a very tender age. You can easily adjust to any new person in your life right now. Your thoughts and maturity has not become hard like concrete as of now. So presuming that you will continue to like this guy forever, even after marriage is not right. That rarely happens. Marriage is a big decision. You shouldnt get into it, against your wishes. So please please talk to your parents.

No, you should not allow your parents to dictate you. Your life will be mess up if you will follow your parents. I am not against with them but the best thing you should do is to talk with them properly and divulge whatever they need to know like for having your boyfriend. It is their right to now about what's happening on you. I think arrange marriage is not an ideal thing to do this days.

Hi Dassodils, pls tell your love affair to your parents. But my opinion is, arranged marriage is good for your life. Anyway first you tell your love affair to your parents OK friend. All the best.

I can understand arranged marriages in the tradition of your culture. But you have entered into a world that does things differently. I would ask yourself this question: If this man you love more important to you than your family? If the answer is yes then go for it! If it isn't then say your goodbyes and marry this other person your parents have chosen for you. It is up to you!

You cant blame your parents. If a girl is of age, proposals are expected. its not like they knew you are in love and forcing you into marriage. Then again, are you sure you are in love because its one of the most misunderstood concepts at the present. If you are sure, hold on. If you got doubt better marry the guy your parent choose. just out of curiosity, you use the word I instead of WE so better make sure he shares the same dream as yours and probably ask him to speak to your parents directly. If he is such a nice,caring,gentle guy,i am sure your parents wont have any problem with it. got any other issues like religion and caste thats stopping you?

OMG, you need to tell your parents about the man you truly love. I have heard of arranged marriages but I don't agree with them at all unless the two really love each other. I think you seriously should talk to your parents and explain that you are in love with someone else. I can't imagine being forced to marry someone I was not in love with. That to me would be like living in hell. I really can't believe in this day and time this still goes on. I know if I was put into this predictment I would talk to my parents. If they say no then I would run far away to be with my true love. Even if it meant not seeing them ever again. It's your life and you need to be happy.

Thanks to Dassodils, You have denied us of your age and what college level. About your culture and marriage rights, we have discovered that your parents CAN as well choose a partner for you. Fine, let me tell you that your parents cannot give you stone instead of bread. Maybe you are floating under adolescent, in some instances marriage is like your first degree. You are not always given your first choice such as one may have applied for Medicine at the end offered Chemistry. Sometimes Economics when you applied for Accounting etc. Let me advise you; If your SENIOR student loves you the way you have on him, he would have for long approached your parents and registered his intentions. I remind you here, NOT all lovers are good partners. It is spiritual, I repeat spiritual that you LOVE YOUR HUSBAND, not your dater. Two years is not two days, neither two weeks nor two months. I bet you "all that glitter" may not be gold, it shall fade away like tinkered colour and can blow off like dust in minutes. Listen to your parents and you will be glad you did. Thereafter, God will bless your married life. Thank you.

hi, i think you should tell to your parents on what's going on to your love live so they will know it,and of course tell that your boyfriend need to finish his study before you and your boyfriend get marry,and i think your parents will understand that just have a try.

WhAt I feels is be sure on part of your lover.Ask properly from him after 2 years he will be there for you or not or wants to do some other things.And the other one about your parents,they are always their to love and think better of you and first ask you friend and be sure.If you don't want to tell your parents about your lover then keep rejecting offers by any means saying wants to complete studies first or any other.I will recommend you to be calm and patient in these condition and never think of taking a wrong step and last of all never hurt your parents.Try to use some cool and calm way.

That is one sad love story. I find it so hard to believe that there are still parents who are forcing their daughters to marry men who they do not love. I thought those stories just happened way back in history. It is so hard to fight for you love most especially if your parents are the persons who hinder your true love. There is really a no win-win situation in this case. Either you follow your parents or you disobey them by following your heart. But I would rather follow my heart than obey my parents. It is hard to live with someone you do not love. Just try to explain first to them the possible consequence when you marry the person they want for you. Tell them that you love someone else but I think it is a better idea to be with your boyfriend once you confront your parents. It should be the guy who will defend you to your family. He should be the one fighting for you relationship first.

Hi There Dassodils, Have you spoken to your parents about this? Did you tell them that you are not ready to be with this person (arranged marriage)? i am sure that when they know your reasons and when you give yourself a chance for them to be heard, your parents will listen to you. It is really hard for you, i am sure because you have not been entirely honest with your parents that they do not know about your relationship with your classmate. For one, when your partner graduates, will he be ready to marry you right away? Or would you both have to wait and save money so you can get married. Maybe you should first let this person be known to your family, if they get to like him, then your problem will then be solved.

If you both are serious and there is no great community/caste barrier[others from the West may disagree but we are all bound by our protected conditioned upbringing and this cannot be helped in light of what is relevant to each household] tell your parents straightaway.There is no point in making another person [the unaware potential bridegroom] unhappy.Take up a job, and wait for the senior.But ensure that his intent is serious and that there would be no objection from his house and that he will surmount all obstacles to marry you. If there is going to be terrible objection from your parents' side and if you were aware of what would happen in such an event, then you yourself are to blame for getting into a mess like this.Such people need to have a lot of determination and strength to oppose parents.Do you have it? First of all is the senior student of the same mother-tongue?

You should not marry anyone you don't want to be with. Else you would regret it for the rest of your life and you will be miserable. Marriage is such a huge change in life that it can only work with the person you are willing to go lengths. Postpone this marriage as much as possible. Maybe your parents need to get to know this person you love first before making any hasty decisions.

It is your choice. You will be the one to be with the man in one roof not your parents. Your Collegemate is still under observation but if you really want him then go. The choice of your parent was based on family background, character and status in life they want to make sure for you to be secured in your family life. Love can be developed as go along but as I said it is your choice for your the concern not your parents.

Oh that is sad if you do not like the one your parents want you to get tie for a lifetime. But they say parents know best. Lol. It is really hard situation you are into now. As for me, I would go fight the one i love taking in considerations that this love of mine is responsible in the future.

The best to solve this problem, is that you need to open up relationship topic to your parents and persuade them that your lover and you can live happily and take care each and other. Your parents might feel difficult to digest at first and soon they will understand your happiness always come first. It is better to live with the person you trusted and loved compared to be married with a stranger. It is a fact. ALL THE BEST