when bf says parents will always be 1st in his life...

There is no future for the two of you. His parents will not accept any wife for him who is not a good Muslim girl, and he will not defy them. Move on and find someone who shares your values--preferably someone who lives a lot closer to you as well. Long distance, different religions, different cultures and being controlled by his parents make for an impossible combination. There are enough difficulties in relationships without going for a guy who has almost nothing in common with you.

LOL, I know how that feels. He must be in so much pressure to jump to such conclusions. Maybe you should rephrase things so he won't think you are against his parents. It seemed your words suggested that. Let him know what you truly feel about his parents and you respect them. Don't rush things. Let him adjust to this new experiences. Just explain things properly to him. Say something like, you understand how he feels and you would never ever let him choose between you and his parents. You believe that his parents are very important in his life and should come first. but if his love is strong for you, he would step up and assert himself to his parents(so cheesy) and hope that they will support and approve his decisions. Just be careful with your words next time and let him cool off. You have to patient with this momma's and daddy's boy LOL!

Sounds like several problems to me. Where do you live, first of all? Long distance, I get that but it seems like there are culture differences as well. That would be a kicker for me, and not negotiable. It's hard to blend culture, especially between two ways of life. I am American and I had a long distance relationship which turned into my marriage, but my husband is American too and we were both independent and living on our own before we got together. I happen to believe that once you hit 18, you are a legal adult and as such, you are or should be responsible for yourself. You should not be catering to parents or bending to the will of other people, regardless of whether they are family, friends, other adults, coworkers, etc. This boyfriend of yours.... if the relationship with YOU is IMPORTANT - he should be putting you and the relationship FIRST. Period. If he's not going to put you and the relationship first, then I do not believe he is serious about you. When you are with someone and/or get engaged or get married, you have the relationship with each other. You marry EACH OTHER. Not each other's families. Not each other's parents. Not each other's siblings, friends, etc. All I have to say to people about my relationships is that they are what they are and *I* control them, not someone else. I don't ask anybody for approval, it's their choice whether they want to be mature and civil and decent, but if they choose not to be, there is the door, you can remove yourself from my life. There is no reason to ASK your parents for approval once you are an adult. You're an adult. It's not their choice, and even if you ask them for advice, it doesn't mean you're required to listen or take it. I have grown kids and I don't tell them how to live, who to be with, what to do. If they ask, I might have advice but I am careful not to try and steer them unless they KNOW something they are doing is going to lead to trouble. It's still up to them to decide, not me. I wish more parents would realize this and stop being nosy and relentless in controlling their kids when they are ADULTS. Your boyfriend - if he is truly a good boyfriend - should say to heck with what his parents thing. Who cares? It's not like they will punish him, and if they try, he has every right to tell them to step off and leave him alone. He should be on your side and defend you, because if he's not, then he's not worth anything.

What you should do? Run away, really fast, and find someone who (a) has the guts to love you regardless of what his parents think and (b) acts his age. He's 25, for goodness' sake. Does his mummy still tie his shoelaces for him?! And, as many others have said, if he's spreading his wild oats before getting married, the chances are you're just another notch on his bedpost. Brutal, I know, but that's pretty much the sum of it. It's one thing to respect your parents; it's quite another to run your adult life as if they're the king and queen of everything. Dump him. Get out. Find someone who really values you and treats you properly - like you're the queen of everything!

I agree with mommyboo. To hell what they think. If it's meant to be, it'll be.

It sounds like you already have your answer from him, regarding any type of future with him. He does not think much of you to properly present you to his parents as the woman he wants a relationship with. If his parents rule his life now, they will always rule his life. This may sound bad but maybe it is better for you to not go and to cool off on the relationship for a bit. Not totally break up but slow it down. By doing so you may give yourself the time you need to make a clear headed decision and give him time to choose what life he wants.

What should you do? Drop him my dear and move on. His parents will always come first. Both of you are young and can find suitable partners. He will find an obedient muslim girl and make his parents very happy. You should take a little time and reflect on different religions and cultures. Unless the bond of love between two people is super strong crossing one or both of these barriers will lead to an unhappy life for all involved.

I would like to itemize quite every points i see in here worth talking about. 1. you are going to see him but he worries about his parents comments about the whole idea- yeah this can happen. whether you go visit him or not, you stay with him or not. i would think most parents are like this anyway. they will have a lot of things to say about the guy or the woman their child is going out with. so i am sure since you are in a relationship why would he worry about that, he should be able to defend you from his parents... and let them treat you with respect. (I have my boyfriend's parent now even asking me why i need to go home when i can sleep in their house(of course in his sisters room). 2. you both have different religion - so it did bother you or him then when you first started going out or dating? i think this issue has to be settled still. 3. you know now what his priority is and he is clear about that. are you even willing to risk and try to change his mind about this? it is going to be a problem if in case you both get married, first your religions are different, beliefs would be different already and he might even ask you to convert to his religion when it comes down to this. He does not doubt you - i guess he just does not love you as much to protect you and to fight for you when it comes to his parents. (sorry if i am being too direct here, but this is how i see him)