no contribution.....no invite

Wow, in the first place why did she ask you to contribute? Is she a close friend? I guess she's a professional beggar. She's not worthy of your friendship.

I think it is beyond ridiculous for anyone to ask you for money for their child's wedding. It is rude and inappropriate. I mean who says you can come to this wedding only if you help pay for it? What, are they queen of something? That's just not fair to you or anyone else. I'm glad you didn't give them anything. You shouldn't have been asked to.

I think I would have found myself having other obligations anyway about the time I was asked for contributions. It is more like a "ticket price" rather than an invitation. In my opinion, wedding guests are invited to witness you exchanging your vows and to share in your moment. I can't imagine asking for contributions to begin with and I really could not imagine banning someone who could not contribute or bring a gift. Seems really tacky .

WHAT??? I have never heard of anything like this. It is rude and insulting. The purpose of having a wedding party is for all friends to wish the COUPLE good cheer and to share in their happiness. Of course, everyone gives the COUPLE a gift to help them set up their household. The gift is NEVER for the parents to defray expenses.

such an odd scenario. why would you friend want to you contribute for the wedding? It is her daughter's not yours. and maybe not even your niece. Such a nerve to specifically ask you to give. Actually this is very embarrassing on her part asking you... even if you volunteer to help it is awkward to accept financial help to such very personal event. it is good not to go there unless you really wanted.

There are four ways to look at it.. One, perhaps your colleague is so hard up that she can't accomodate another guest. If you are on friendly terms with her, you can try asking her. Maybe she hopes you'll understand since she's already spoken to you about the money issues. Two, she doesn't like the fact that you refused to contribute, maybe she took it the wrong way and feels slighted, or doesn't realize you have obligations as well. Three, she didn't intend to invite you and now has a reason, however nasty or selfish it may be. Four, maybe the invite got lost in the mail. In any case, to answer your question, yes this happens. People have the tendency to be mean or nice when they fancy it. I would suggest that you try speaking to her about it so that you know you've done everything to sort it out. Doesn't matter how it turns out. At least you will be at peace. Hope this helps! :)

What a shame for them! In the first place it is not your obligation to give gifts, money or anything just for the wedding. Why did they celebrate a wedding in the first place if they don't have money? I mean of course marriage is not about money but if they can't afford the celebration itself then there are other ways to do so that they can still celebrate it in simple way. It doesn't have to be grand. Do they really know the meaning of wedding itself? So are they treating it like celebrating birthday party or debut? If they really value morals they should put it in mind that the meaning of wedding is about the celebration of marriage wherein they are ready to face the new challenges together as couples including responsibilities, therefore it will also include the financial challenges on how they can solve it. They are inviting people just like you because they want you to become their witness on the celebration of marriage. More so you are considered as one of the important people to celebrate with them. I haven't heard that kind of scenario wherein you weren't invited just because you were not able to contribute? Can't they have considerations with other people? Your presence is already a gift. It only reflects who they really are especially your colleague so don't feel sad about it if you weren't invited. I've already heard some people wherein they have also encountered when couples are getting the Godparents. To think that Godparents means they are the second parents to guide them especially in marriage life then the couples are requiring the Godparents that they have to give Php 10,000 which is $250 each Godparent. It just so happened that one of them is the boss of the groom so the boss refused it because it is like you are obliging to give you money for the wedding. This is some kind of weird with some so much ambitious people who wants the celebration to be grand then since they can't afford it then they will ask it with other people to the extent of requiring, obliging or even push to do so.

Take it positively. You will be saving some money since you need not be buying a gift for the couple. Your friend is rather petty not to invite you. If I were you, I will celebrate. LOL...

I think they sound pretty money hungry! I think its pretty rude for you not to be invited because you could not help financially. That should have nothing to do with being invited. I think they should really be ashamed of themselves...

So you have to pay first and after you did you are invited? I never heard about that. I only know weddings where people are invited because you like them/want them to celebrate with you. No contributing or presents are requested in advance. Personally I would not like to be invited just because I payed. It's better to stay home. Sounds to me you have nothing with her daughter. You are not family, related, friend or close co-worker.

Eh? I never heard of a wedding that guests must pay or contribute something before they can join the event. Not even relatives of the marrying couple are "mandated" to share in the expenses unless the immediate family have discussed this. That's just plain bad manners and outright not nice.

I think your colleague does not have any right to ask for your contribution towards her daughter's wedding. It is not your obligation to give. A present might do and besides what does the guy's sides are doing? They should be the one who are responsible for processing all the needs of the wedding ceremony and not the side of your colleague. If you do not have any invitation then do not come then.

These are things not to take seriously in life and think much.You don't have to think instead the other one needs to think about what she had done.Its never right to make money important in life.And she will have to come in front of you in office and then see how she faces you.You will see that she will not be able to raise her eyes in front of you.She is wrong and just chill man and as the man said you should be happy that you saved mobey otherwise gifts are also costly.

I say count yourself lucky that your colleague did not give you an invite, it sounds like your co-worker is an opportunist trying to fleece others for money just because their daughter is getting married. I wonder if your colleague told their daughter they were asking co-workers to help pay for her wedding. Hopefully this colleague will not come around asking you to give a present too, especially for a wedding you weren't invited to. But some how it would not surprise me if they did ask everyone to give a gift even if they didn't go to the wedding.

Is this a common practice in your country? It is not so in Western society. Friends and family are invited to witness and share in the marriage vows the couple will make to each other. People are invited because they are wanted there, not because they can be asked for money or because they might give a generous or expensive gift. On the other hand, I have seen many, many weddings where the emphasis is on what everyone is wearing, how many guests are invited, how much is spent on the wedding...which all makes me wonder, why are this couple actually getting married???

It is unfair on their part not to invite you for wedding, specially when they had the guts to ask for your help. It is really weird and these kind of people are not worth calling good colleagues.

as usual i can get mad or be thinking maybe she got a problem that i can't see. financial problem i guest since she ask for contribution. relax dan't get mad