The cheater pissed me off
By enelym001
@enelym001 (8322)
Philippines
February 10, 2013 7:28am CST
The cheater is trying to convince me he did not cheat. I know that the proof I have seen is just a line of words. But to me that is enough proof that there is something going on. This dumb fox cannot be cheated and lied to anymore.
I know that in another discussion I made, I said I will not tell him about it because we're no longer together. But he insist on knowing if I have a new bf already. And then I got the chance to tell it. He's denying it and even swears his life and family. But I'm not gonna believe him. He got hurt with my accusation of him being a liar. All I know is that... truth really hurts. And so he felt it.
3 people like this
10 responses
@extremefun4fun (2908)
• India
10 Feb 13
My husband cheat me daily. He was my boyfriend and while of frindship he was nice and caring . after he made me fool to marry him he show me his reality. he is totally diffrent from the time was my bf. now he says you are my wife and mother of my child but girlfriend is the one that i enjoy with.
can you imagine that whatever he show me before alll was lie? and what is so terrible he even do not let me to divorce . he has kept me in his country and in his country laws are very poor and whenever i talk about i am tired he warns to kill me and my baby...
wish i was not marrying to him . my only freedom from this man is just the time that God take him away to the second world and i will really that day dance and celebrate....
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
10 Feb 13
Men really are pathetic if it comes to that. My ex husband was the same. We, me and the kids, were only interesting if his co-workers were showing off with their wifes. And ofcourse to cook and clean.. to have children (but not care about them either). He had 3 gf's but at a certain point I did not care about that either. He Always called me: mother the wife (not even a personality anymore). I am still happy I left, every day of my life I am, I saved me and my children. It's 22 years ago but if I think back of that time what a relief! Ps at a certain point I said to my uncle: I am 25 years old what if I will get 65 years old, imagine 40 years more with that man! Girl if possible get out of there! Save yourself!
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
11 Feb 13
Hi there extremefun,
What a monster you got! I don’t really understand why a man would marry but just hurt the one that they choose to marry. If they like to have fun with other girls, they must not marry. They can get all the girl they want but they must not marry if they won’t be a good husband to his wife and a good father to his kids.
This is why when this guy asked me to marry him. I thought of it a thousand times. I tried to observe him and then realized I could not marry him. And I’m glad that we fought and I found out about his lie. Well he may be telling the truth but we had talked about him not talking to that lady. But he still did. So even if that lady is also very far away from him, he still lied and cheated.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
11 Feb 13
I agree with Kitty, you've got to get out of that marriage. Save yourself and your kids too. There is no point staying with the marriage if you only think about having a whole family. When all that's there are cheating and hurting you, then that's not gonna be a good thing - not only for you but for the kids as well. Eventually they will learn about the disrespect their father is doing to you, their mom.
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
10 Feb 13
Sorry to hear that he is cheating on you. I hope that you will be able to find someone who will be faithful to you. There is no excuse for cheating. I hope that things will work out and improve for you. I wouldn't be talking to him anymore.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
11 Feb 13
Hi Dominique,
I do hope so that there is a man who don't lie or cheat. Although I know most men keeps secret. There are no saints now. But I would appreciate it if someone would actually admit that he lied or did something wrong coz nobody's perfect and people are just human who can always forgive.
I thought I wouldn't be talking to him anymore, but I am getting annoyed coz he started sending me messages again, provoking me to say a word. Good thing it was a chat only.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
11 Feb 13
Hi there extremefun,
it's a good thing he is not my husband, just a boyfriend. I would have regret it if I get married to him. Your sister is lucky to have a respectful husband.
@extremefun4fun (2908)
• India
10 Feb 13
good and bad are everywhere. but after living with this kind of husband i am not going to think about any other man. i just wish my life get clean from him and on day i live happily and relax with my daughter. i have a sister she is too happy with her marriage because of having a respectful husband .
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
13 Feb 13
Maybe it's pride that wouldn't let him admit that he already got caught. That however wrong it is/was, he still stands by his word that he didn't cheat.
If this is the case, then this is even worse. You should be glad that you got out of that relationship.
Just move on.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
14 Feb 13
Its' just so confusing that he keeps saying even a while ago when he sent a message saying they never were together. And that he's just being friendly. But when a girlfriend got jealous of another girl for a reason, the guy must put an effort not to make his girl jealous again, especially if the girl likes him or he used to like her in the past. If he wants to, he can stop any communication between them. But maybe losing friendship is more important to him... so I'm gonna pass on him LoL! let him go and move on with my life, where I can hopefully meet another man who wouldn't make me feel insecure.
I am really glad I am out of that relationship.
I am really glad I am out of that relationship.1 person likes this
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
11 Feb 13
Hi Godmom
Some psychology... When people cheat on anyone, they know that fact. And when they are caught, they get more hurt - reason - First, they never wanted to get caught and second, they expect(ed) that even if they were caught, that should not make any big difference. These two add to the hurt when they are caught.
For you, I am glad that you could catch him and yes, it is a little painful, but then, I would say it is better that the facts came out in the open at this moment and not later as if they came out open later, things would have been more complicated for all.
Off discussion, but how was your weekend? I read a discussion from you on some good plans for Friday
Some psychology... When people cheat on anyone, they know that fact. And when they are caught, they get more hurt - reason - First, they never wanted to get caught and second, they expect(ed) that even if they were caught, that should not make any big difference. These two add to the hurt when they are caught.
For you, I am glad that you could catch him and yes, it is a little painful, but then, I would say it is better that the facts came out in the open at this moment and not later as if they came out open later, things would have been more complicated for all.
Off discussion, but how was your weekend? I read a discussion from you on some good plans for Friday 1 person likes this
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
11 Feb 13
Hi godson
I never knew about that hurt they would feel once a cheater got caught. All I know is that, they would feel the guilt. And that won't make them sleep well until they have cleared out their name.
I believe so I have caught him. Because even when he did not do anything or as he claimed they were just friends even before he became my boyfriend, that's a fact because they were classmates or schoolmates. But if you said you would never talk to that lady bec of all the reasons he says, and suddenly I found out there were still communication... that has already broke my trust.
Well, my Friday's good as we spent swimming with friends.
I never knew about that hurt they would feel once a cheater got caught. All I know is that, they would feel the guilt. And that won't make them sleep well until they have cleared out their name.
I believe so I have caught him. Because even when he did not do anything or as he claimed they were just friends even before he became my boyfriend, that's a fact because they were classmates or schoolmates. But if you said you would never talk to that lady bec of all the reasons he says, and suddenly I found out there were still communication... that has already broke my trust.
Well, my Friday's good as we spent swimming with friends.1 person likes this
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
12 Feb 13
Not all guys could readily admit that they have cheated even if you have evidence to prove it. Well, maybe because it was just a one time fling and that they really do not have the intention of having a relationship with the other person. But the thing is, once they make something like that and their partner finds out about it, then it is enough to really destroy their relationship.
1 person likes this
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
12 Feb 13
That's right. Maybe he has no intention. But whether or not he has intention or not, I guess he is still not worth keeping. Because sooner or later in the relationship, he might do the same thing because he would think he can get away with it - whether he got caught or not.
1 person likes this
@vivek19 (218)
• India
11 Feb 13
Hey there, the most important thing to keep a relationship alive and moving is trust and being loyal. I think he has no right to interfere with your life as you said that he cheated you and also it's a lesson for you as well that think thousand times before believing any other guy...
1 person likes this
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
11 Feb 13
Hi there vivek19
I guess we must try to get to know the person well. Most of the time we are blinded by love that we tend to see their flaws and reasoning out just so we could justify the twrong things they're doing. Once our intuition tells us something I do think we must not ignore it.
Yes trust and loyalty is important. But we must be sure who to trust and who we be loyal with.
1 person likes this
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
10 Feb 13
You hear that story every time a guy is caught cheating! He'll say "I didn't cheat!". Guys hate being told the truth! At least you dumped this guy after you found out! I wouldn't of doubted things would of gottan worse if you didn't break up with him! He is a big boy and if he can't handle the pain,he should not of cheated in the first place!
1 person likes this
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
11 Feb 13
I dumped him even before I discovered something. But I dumped him because of the same girl. He is just friendly as he says, but isn't being over friendly something that can break a relationship. He lied or maybe cheated - who knows. He entertains her and I guess that is enough reason why I shouldn't be with him anymore. If he can entertain every girl or being too friendly then I guess he don't need to be exclusive with someone.
Yes it is true, and I know he can handle every thing, he hurt me and I guess it's about time he gets hurt too while I ignore him.
1 person likes this
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
10 Feb 13
Each time again I hear/read what a cheater (man) says about him not cheating I think: how come they think we women are so stupid we believe their lame excuses. But also, how come they Always try to blame us in the end for what they did? Men, be a man! Stand for what you did, take responsibility for your life, your choices. Being a cheater and pathetic is already sad enough.
1 person likes this
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
11 Feb 13
You've said everything I got in mind!
Like you said, I also wonder why they think we are so stupid. We won't feel anything if it's baseless. What's so hard about admitting mistakes? I would appreciate a guy if he would have tell me that he lied and would prove he changed than keep lying.
1 person likes this
@Raine38 (12250)
• United States
10 Feb 13
I really cannot understand how cheating men roll. It seems to me that they have this unspoken rule of to never let themselves be caught. And if caught, never admit to it. My former best friend's husband cheated on her and even she swears that even if his thing was severed he will never admit to it. Even with evidences and all.
1 person likes this
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
11 Feb 13
I think that's exactly how it is with guys. And that's what we, women, doesn't understand. How come they don't feel guilty about it.. and yes, why even with evidences they still won't admit. Crazy isn't it. Women are not stupid.
1 person likes this
@dchampagne (1)
• United States
11 Feb 13
What proff you have is enough proof. I personally wouldnt give him the chance to do it again. 20 years ago I had a husband that i thought loved me. We had 2 children together. Well as the years went on he started acting funny and secretive. I asked alot of questions and he denied everything. I believed him, stupid me. Well I took the children to the campground where we had a camper. Well I got shocked and so did they. I walked in to find him in bed with the girl I had suspected. Well let me tell you it didnt not go down good. I will just leave it at that. So divorce granted to me and I had the children. So in my opiinion you did the right thing. It's tough cookies that he got hurt by your accusations. Men dont think about our feelings when they decide to cheat!!!
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
11 Feb 13
HI there dchampagne,
First of all welcome to myLot! Hope you'll enjoy coming here
Sad to read about what you went through with your former husband. Guys must be thankful the first time we forgive them, hear them out and believed in their lies. But abusing us and doing the same lies not learning their lessons is way too much. So giving them up is certainly the best thing that we can do.
Sad to read about what you went through with your former husband. Guys must be thankful the first time we forgive them, hear them out and believed in their lies. But abusing us and doing the same lies not learning their lessons is way too much. So giving them up is certainly the best thing that we can do.1 person likes this
