My friend is a strict disciplinarian

somehow some of the things she will do will backfire.. see even now, you said it is funny how the kids CHEAT on her.. therefore they are still being dishonest amidst the fact that she is being so strict. i am a disciplinarian myself, i see to the it the kids do their chores, follow our rules but i also give myself room and also them to be their friend, meaning i also see that i go down on their level and see things the way they see it. like that when they don't flush the toilet ( yes they don't lol) i get mad as it can be really annoying, so i do get mad at them for that, but i don't implement harsh things, like spanking right away.. instead i take away their privileges like sleeping late, eating ice cream in the middle of the night, or them waking up with pancakes..so they know what to do next time.. and when they do good, i talk to them, praise them, reward them.. and they do good more. i grew up with a parent who is also so strict, my dad was in the military and he brings the attitude at home which was sad for me because instead of me being more honest i grew up lying more as i know how mad it gets, how furious he gets with my decisions or mistakes.. so i don't want my kids to grow up that way too. instead now, i try to be their friend also so they will also know that they could confide in me.

it is weird when children do something like that i mean cheating and getting with it. i hate it when students do that to me doing exactly different from i told them and wirse doing it secretly. i hate to imagine the smile they have in mind. argh! did you tell her that maybe she is too strict on them. maybe she needs to know.

Hi ruby! You see discipline as such is not bad. If children are kept under discipline, they will understand the value and importance of 'discipline' in their life sooner or later. One of my Uncles used to do it and all his four children are now well settled in life. Children are not going to appreciate their parents if they are kept under strict vigil but if they are given full liberty they may not learn the values in their life. Your view that we should be mentors by giving them advice is alright but they should realize that parents needs to be respected and obeyed.

Oh gosh I think that is to strict for sure. I think rules are great for kids but they have to be able to do thing on there own time as well and make mistakes with out fear of having a harsh punishment come down on them if they don't do everything up to there parents liking.

Sounds like my friend's mother. When we we're teenagers they are not allowed outside the house after 5 or 6 pm without a valid reason. Their mom is so over protective but now that they're grown up I guess they are very thankful for her. They are now having good jobs and good life unlike the other kids in our batch who are having difficulties in finding jobs.

Yes ruby you are right.I think it will be better if you express the same to your friend.By being strict she can controll them physically but who knows what run in their minds. Don't be afraid and feel free to have a talk with your friend.This much of strict adherence may attract them to little freedom from the outsiders.

That's her way of raising her children, for as long as she is not hurting and abusing the kids, just respect her ways. I believe she was also brought that way by her parents. If she believes that what she is doing was right,then I guess there is no problem with that. My husband's sister in law has this annoying thing of raising her kids. We often hear her shouting, sometimes spanking the kids because they don't follow instructions. The kids are two and four years old, and she expects them to act like ten years old. Sometimes my husband and I would talk about it, I just told my husband that those are her children and we have no right to interfere. Although we feel bad for the kids and they got spanked a lot.