proposing to marriage after a few chats
By hestylim
@hestylim (1210)
Indonesia
February 11, 2013 12:36pm CST
I heard a weird online relationship story lately... there is this girl, she met a guy from a freelance job provider like odesk. they are from different country... and after a few chats, the guy told her that he wants to marry her.
do u think it is possible? i mean... how can you decide whether you want to marry someone just from a few chats?? moreover if you know that someone online??
3 people like this
29 responses
@kyle2krystel (2489)
• Japan
11 Feb 13
This is not new to me I had a friend which is now here in the US they met online and got married on the first meeting.
1 person likes this
@kyle2krystel (2489)
• Japan
6 Mar 13
They know each other for a month when her bf proposed for marriage;-)
@blackrusty (3519)
• Mexico
12 Feb 13
i have done the same thing and went though it all now its all over after 7 months and single in a new country where i don't speak spanish
@hestylim (1210)
• Indonesia
6 Apr 13
yeah.. things are not predictable... and so is life. That's what people call as mystery of life.. lol..
I know some people who lead successful marriage life with this way..
It doesn't mean I encourage people to do the same thing, but some successful love story getting through this story.. :D
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
12 Feb 13
this sounds like a very risky venture to me. A relationship that comes too quickly often is doomed before it starts. Meeting someone online that you have a favorable rapport with is nic but you should meet this person in person before making that kind of relationship and commitment. I really do think that it takes more than a few chats to know that marriage is the next step to take. This seems too fast and sudden to really take off.@redredrose (1105)
• United States
14 Feb 13
Yes it is way too fast and way too risky after just a few chats online. I mean even if he told her an age a location a religion etc about himself how does she know he isn't lying or pretending to be someone hes not. When's it online you just never know.
@redredrose (1105)
• United States
14 Feb 13
I just thought of this.She doesn't know what he is like on dates or living with or what his personality is like in person so why would she even want to marry him? I think if you don't know what someone is like in real life with their true feelings or personality then you shouldn't marry them for this reason either.
@free_man (7330)
• United States
12 Feb 13
Hi Hestylim. If I was her I would be ware of strangers proposing marriage after a few chats. It is possible to find love but I wouldn't take a chance on the net without getting to know each other better. I might even do a back ground check on someone telling me that they loved me and wanted to get married too early. A long time ago I was chatting with this guy online and he told me when I was married to another man that he was coming to my home and going to make me go with him. I told him come on the police would be there. He threatened me with violence. I called the law and put a trace on this guy. Be ware of strangers. Some can be dangerous. If this person goes to meet this guy it would be best if she had a close friend with her. I would also tell this girl to keep her cell phone on while around this guy but keep it on a mode so he couldn't hear it ring. I wouldn't let this man know too much of my business.
@lingggggggg (3)
• China
12 Feb 13
hi , i am chinese lady , this is my first time here..
i think its adventure to get marry to know each other in short time ..
@lingggggggg (3)
• China
14 Feb 13
the same to you :)
well , i think i need time to know him more.. at leat one year..
you know seldom men are willing to get married with a woman who is divorce in china.. so i cant take that chance if that happen to me :)
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
13 Feb 13
I think the guy was playing with girl's emotion and was trying to be-fool here by proposing her. One just can not decide about marriage just after few on line chats.
@hestylim (1210)
• Indonesia
15 Feb 13
Hahaha.. Good question! Hmmm, but however, life is about taking risk. Well, I mean everything you face, there's a risk so huge in front of it. Now, just left, whether you want to take it or you want to stay in your zone. You make the choice.
For example, when you get to know someone in your area, you are also taking risk of guessing whether this person is a good person or a bad one. I watched a movie called "colored girls" (I don't know if I got the movie title right). In that movie, she knows a guy, a really nice guy. After a couple of dates, she finally invites him to her house to have dinner - she cooks for him. And it turned out, the guy raped her in her own house. And at the end, she knows that the guy is a raper. What I am trying to say is, we never really know what is coming in front of us. Sometimes, we thought that it is save, but then it is a big mistake that we had made. Sometimes, we thought that it is so risky, but then it turned out to be good.
I think, when it comes to make a life decision, listen to your heart carefully and you will get the answer. Life is about taking risks, anyway... :)
@redredrose (1105)
• United States
14 Feb 13
Why would you want to marry someone after just a few chats online? That's like marrying a stranger because you barely know the person. How can you feel love for someone you never saw in person and don't know anything about. Maybe he did this because he wants to become a citizen of the girls country. Or maybe he just thinks he loves her. I do think it's possible that you can want to marry someone after just a few chats but i think it would be because you are lonely or want to be a citizen of the other country and not because of love. It is hard to love someone you just met and never even saw a picture of and don't know anything about. I really hope this woman he has asked to marry him says no because it could very well even be a scam or him wanting citizenship to her country and not because of love. So again i think it is possible to want to marry someone after just a few chats online but not for the reason of love.
@hestylim (1210)
• Indonesia
14 Feb 13
Yes, it does sounds like a scam. Moreover these days. What I heard is they have exchanged pictures and the guy asked her to go to his country - so the citizenship is off the list. The other option is scam.
Well, in this world anything can happen.. but nowadays, with a lot of scams out there it is hard to believe something like that.
@kprofgames (3091)
• United States
14 Feb 13
I've heard stories of that happening. I can't wrap myself around that kind of thinking. To me you don't even really a know a person till you live with them and see their daily habits.
I know of people that have found someone online but after a few chats? I just can't see it myself and would warn a person about getting too wrapped up in an online relationship unless they actually met the person face to face.
@hestylim (1210)
• Indonesia
14 Feb 13
Yeap! I even heard a story of my friend's friend who met the guy online and after some times, the girl came to the guy's country and they directly got engaged on the first meetings, the girl came back to her country and then some times later, the guy came to her country and they held marriage.
It just don't get into my sense. I mean.. you just know the guy online and then on the first meeting, means the girl also barely know the life the guy was living and they just engaged.
In my sense, they should know each other in real world for some times, before they got engaged. To have big pictures of how the guy is living.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
12 Feb 13
I don't think it is a wise idea to take such proposal seriously. One should have enough time to know the other.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
13 Feb 13
And getting to know each other should not stop on chatting. It is still best to get to know the person face to face and spend some time with each other.
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
6 Apr 13
How can people do this the country is not same the custom is not same and only on online meeting agree for marriage. I know the marriage will not run till long life only attraction but when they meet they feel ohhh god why this is happen. We cant trust on online friends I watch the news many marriages are break with in a month because the perform only on mobile communication or from facebook.
@hestylim (1210)
• Indonesia
6 Apr 13
Thanks for responding... Though it sounds weird, those things happen to some people and they lead quite successful marriage life -- even sometimes better than those who meet in real life... :)
But sure, it is risky and a lot to consider.. Moreover, from different culture and country.. It will be hard..
@riempie9 (1021)
• South Africa
6 Apr 13
How can you decide to spend the rest of your life with a girl you have just met at the office a few weeks earlier and decide to get married. There are indeed cultures where there are traditional Indian marriages (and others) who marry soon after meeting, but these marriages mostly fail because marriage is contracted for the wrong reasons. Women in confined societies will think this is the easy way out; it is not. Sometimes they do get married and find that they are worse off, but cannot escape and cannot get out. Think not once or twice but thrice before you put yourself in this kind of predicament.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
12 Feb 13
How can you want to marry someone you have never seen face to face? It's crazy, it takes a long time to really know someone and to find out if you are truly compatible with each other, and that's through seeing the other person. What if they turn out to be a fraud or have told nothing but lies? It's easy to lie through chatting online, not so easy face to face. Some people are crazy.
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
12 Feb 13
I don't think you can, but I bet there are a lot of people who would disagree. I think it's important to meet a person's friends and family, and know them fairly well, before you start talking about marriage. But some people are more impulsive or more sure of themselves, I guess.
@hestylim (1210)
• Indonesia
13 Feb 13
Yeap. It doesn't come to my sense as well. I also still think it is important to know other person before you start talking about marriage. Though not all people are the same but still we need to be careful. And yes, some people are so sure about themselves.
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
12 Feb 13
I think that is really fast if you ask me. I mean, this person hasn't met the other person in real life and they have only been talking back and forth through chats. That is just way too soon for a marriage proposal and I mean, how long have they been chatting and I'm like how do you know that this person is who they say they are. I don't think that it would work or this person is just playing with the other person's emotions.
@hestylim (1210)
• Indonesia
13 Feb 13
It is really fast, indeed. When I heard that story I got a lot in my mind too. Like the same thoughts that come to your mind, how do we know that the person is really honest about themselves? How can we know that this person is not lying and really sincere to us? And plus, there are a lot of scam out there.. It is just hard to accept.
though I also heard that there are people that know each other online, getting married on their first meeting and move out to other country with the man and they live happily marriage life now. But I think it is not until 1% of this thing to happen.
@jkct02 (2874)
• Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia
12 Feb 13
For a girl to be proposed is not that weird although it is a very young online romance considering what man is capable of. It is easy to say I love you or I want to marry you in online chats to online friends. It will only be weird IF that girl agrees to the marriage proposal. All that we can comment about is that they may have a different view on what a marriage is. What marriage means is not necessarily the same for everybody. In the end, it may have been just a joke.
@extremefun4fun (2908)
• India
12 Feb 13
I do not think if that is a good idea to accept somebody easily like that. I know a person who had this kind of frindship and marriage. they are not happy because nearly of these people are fraud and not reliable. maybe just 1% will be true.
