I am happy but I want MORE =(
By AR Dianon
@dianon_ice14 (461)
Philippines
February 12, 2013 12:18am CST
I am on a stable relationship right now. Weve been together for like 3 years and been friends 3 years before we became a couple so basically, I know him literally from head to foot.
I don't if it's a MAN thing to be not too expressive with what they feel , because I do know some that is so sweet and exerts too much effort for their partners. BUT he is really different. SO MUCH DIFFERENT.
He has his own ways to do it and it it weird, maybe because he wants to maintain his manly side.
Sometimes I wish that he could have done much better, like what I see on movies or what my friend's boyfriend does to them. I am happy but I am expecting more from him. I don't know..... JUST HARD to explain, I know that I should not erxpect too much because when you love you should not expect something in return but on the other hand. I think I am good enough to have more than this.
1 person likes this
7 responses
@extremefun4fun (2908)
• India
12 Feb 13
You can make your man the one that you really wish. It needs just your support and more appreciate and love to your partner. you are lucky to have a good man and you are able to make him much better than what you want.
@AllThingsJuliet (15)
• Philippines
12 Feb 13
Every person is different. Every man shows affection in different ways. Your partner may not show his feelings through what most "girls" want - by being sweet and thoughtful, satisfying their need for love in the physical aspect. He may have a different way of expressing his love. You cannot change that or change him, just accept that. Love is deeper if it surpasses the physical. However, if you really need him to be "showy" like what you see from other people, talk to him how you want to be treated. But I don't think that it's all-important. All you see from your friends are temporary and carnal; not the true essence of love.
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
12 Feb 13
It is possible that he wasn't used to being the touchy feely, talk-y type. Maybe since childhood, he hasn't experienced those things from the people he grew up with. So my point is. One cannot give what he doesn't have. So if he wasnt the type who was hugged a lot or talked to a lot in his childhood, then he cannot do that to you, what you can do is, to slowly give him what you want him to give you. And maybe one day, he will reciprocate it back to you. Thats what i did when i had a boyfriend, I've been showing him efforts and slowly he starts taking initiative until it became normal to us. I also belive that as observed when couples stay together, the longer they stay together, the more alike they become. So if you are the touchy, feely, talk-y type, then maybe you can influence him to do the same, not literally change him, but make him adapt at his own pace. He wouldn't even notice that he's doing things he used to not do before. 
@dianon_ice14 (461)
• Philippines
17 Feb 13
Hello Nursefrai06 and AllThingsJuliet
To you a back ground, My boyfriend had a not soo good experience when he was a child, His parents got divorced and he grew up alone and he was independent that time, though his mother still support him financially. She was not there physically to be with him to guide him.
I think that is the reason why he is not that SHOWY with his feelings because he always wants to show that he is strong.
AND both of you has a point,,, THANK YOU for your insights.. It really made me realize something =)
LOOKING forward to have conversations with you in the future
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
19 Feb 13
The answer then is that you want more because you don't actually have anything real.
You have *boy* who happens to be a *friend*.
He has absolutely no intention of marrying you, and I would give your relationship about 18 months, and you'll be done.
If you keep sleeping with boys you are not married to, you'll bounce around from one guy to the next, always wanting something more than you have.
That's my guess. Good luck.
@dianon_ice14 (461)
• Philippines
19 Feb 13
I am still SINGLE
sorry but I prefer not to answer your next question =)
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
12 Feb 13
This is a tricky one. I think in any situation, you always feel like you're compromising or settling for something, because the perfect person isn't actually out there. But maybe if you're always feeling like this, your partner really isn't the right person for you.
It's not always about expecting something in return as sometimes if you feel like you settled for someone you can start to resent them and that isn't nice for either person.
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
12 Feb 13
That is very true, no one is perfect. And in whatever you choose, you will get bored in the long run, be it jobs, even if it were your dream job, at one point in time you'd feel bored with it, but then you shouldn't forget what brought you together in the first place. You shouldn't forget what was the reason that made you chase your dream or be with the one you're with now. You have to take care of things to make them work otherwise, they won't last very long.
@chiyosan (30183)
• Philippines
12 Feb 13
I have read in a story before... that our partners (men) when they are unable to show us the kind of man we see in the movies, those romantic overly caring, and overly sweet guys who does not seem to run out of money buying their women sweet nothings, chocolates, candies, cakes, cupcakes or flowers... It is but normal.. they are just like everyone else. They do not show signs of being the guy in the movies... but they are very real - it does not mean they do not love us... they do love us... just not in the way we want to be loved.
Too many times we have always compared ourselves with our friends' boyfriends, but really... we only need to look inside ourselves... we only need to see beyond what is not given to us physically. You did notice that, when they look at you, their eyes glow... with happiness that they are lucky to have you (they just say it... not all the time at least). you have noticed that, when you tell them something they do it, they agree with you, they make you feel you can have your way... because that is probably how they say you are loved and respected.
=) Just try to look at him and appreciate what he does... he is showing them, there are many signs we are just a bit blinded not to see...
@chiyosan (30183)
• Philippines
16 Feb 13
hi dianon... i have read it somewhere (in a book i guess) but it is true to some extent right? it should be different from us seeing them, feeling them in reality and not just "wanting" to see that is NOT there.
Our men does love us, they understand us when we are quick to be angry during that time of the month, they ask us what we want to eat, they tell us where they are going, when they need to go so they wouldn't worry us... right?
I agree with you though that it will come to us (sometimes - every time we watch a romantic movie, or every time there is an occasion.. he he) that we just want to feel like we are the princess, the queen of a man... showered with every thing there is in life... =) he he
@dianon_ice14 (461)
• Philippines
13 Feb 13
I know, and he really proved so much already how much he loves me. It's just maybe a girl thing that would want to have a fairy tale like love story.
Thank you for that. You have such great insights =)
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
19 Feb 13
You should talk to your boyfriend about your feelings. And the moment that I read that you look at how your friends relationships are with their significant other and how it is in the movies. Never try to compare your relationship and want it to be like those in the movies and in your friends relationship. Focus on having your own unique relationship with your boyfriend. I will tell you that your relationship will never be like the ones in the movies or like your friends. Because you and your boyfriend are your own unique person different from how it is in the movies and different from your friends. Let your boyfriend know that you want so much more communicate that with him and see what he says and go from there. Hopefully he'll want to work on changing that.
@Raine38 (12391)
• United States
12 Feb 13
It is human nature to always want something, and even covet something that they don't have. Why not talk to him about your feelings? Be open and see what he has to say for that.
But before you do that, since you like to compare, why don't you get a pen and paper and list all the things that you love about him. Were there any moments that you realized that you are so proud and happy that is him you chose instead of someone else? I am sure that he's got his moments. And if he did change for someone that you want, would you still like and love him? He might not be the same guy that's your friend and eventually the guy you fell in love with.
Just my thoughts. Hope you figure this out soon.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
12 Feb 13
Sounds to me you need more excitment or miss the excitement from the period you just met, you were in love, everything was still new. You should ask yourself what exactly you did like as you two just met.
Also ask yourself what happenend to the dreams, goals, you since that time. Since I think you changed as well. I think you might be boring to him as well since he knows you from head to foot also.
You know this song: Escape (the pina colada song) of Rupert Holmes? If not listen to it, your realationship will only change, get better if you start investing in it plus tell him that you expect more from life, your relationship and him. But remember... once you liked him the way he is... if you manage to change him he won't be that person you once liked anymore. BTW it's normal that relationships get a dip every 5-7 years.
