Have you read any relationship advice books?
By katsmeow1213
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
United States
February 12, 2013 10:47am CST
I've read a few over the years and found some that were helpful. My husband is currently reading "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". He finds it to be very enlightening and true! I'm reading something called "Fight less, Love more". It's all about small steps you can take to improve your relationship. Simple things like saying thank you, and greeting your partner when they come home.. it leads to them feeling appreciated which may inspire them to show their appreciation back. The chapter I'm on now is about criticism and how to be more compassionate instead of being critical.
I'm finding it helpful.. it's just a matter of breaking my bad habits and adopting these good ones.
Have you ever read any books containing relationship advice? Did you find them helpful?
3 people like this
12 responses
@GreenMoo (11833)
•
13 Feb 13
That's what all the self help books are about really isn't it? Breaking bad habits and replacing them with new ones. The more of them I read (and that's been a lot recently!), the more I realise that I know what I need to do to help myself already. I just need to actually DO IT!
@GreenMoo (11833)
•
14 Feb 13
Sometimes I need a rocket up my behind!
Not specifically on relationships, but on general motivation to do the things I want to, I'm considering joining a (paid-for) online community at the moment. The idea is to get some accountability, as it's far too easy for me to say I'll do something then not. I'm still in two minds. It's not expensive, but I'm struggling with the idea of spending money on it .... on the other hand, nothing else seems to be working ....
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
14 Feb 13
What kinds of things? I'm not sure I'd justify spending money on that sort of thing either. First off, it's too easy to quit when you don't feel like being held accountable.. because they are strangers you never have to see again. You've got other options. Can't the hubby or kids help to hold you accountable? If not perhaps Mylot can be of assistance?
@andrewbarclave (485)
• Ireland
12 Feb 13
I have not cause I think they aren't gonna be helpful. I personally think you are better off talking to friends about it, although you do need the right people to talk about it cause not everyone is willing to listen, especially not certain single friends. They may find it annoying to hear you drone on about it when they would be desperate to be in any relationship at all.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
12 Feb 13
I disagree. I think what happens in a relationship should stay between the 2 involved parties and not be shared with anyone outside of the relationship. That is also in the book I am reading. If you share personal things with friends about your partner, your partner may grow to not trust you anymore.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
13 Feb 13
True, a book cannot replace a good friend.. but that doesn't mean I should share all my dirty laundry with my friends. I think a combination of both is good.
@andrewbarclave (485)
• Ireland
12 Feb 13
Well plenty of people believe that but a book doesn't give you a shoulder to cry on when things aren't going well and also won't give you personal advice.
@chiyosan (30183)
• Philippines
13 Feb 13
I have read one, It is intended for married women, but i guess any mature women in a relationship should be able to relate to the book. Its called Fascinating womanhood. This book is really great, phenomenal, even! I have a friend who suggested i just read it, not for my partner, but only for myself.. that i need it so i can improve on myself more than anything else. First things first, as you have said breaking the bad habits and all. But this book is not focus on the surface of the problems in the relationships. It actually drills down to the depth in understanding why men are like that, and why we woman often is also part in parcel of what is happening with our relationship - yes we also had taken part in destroying the male ego, etc.
What i loved about the book was it said in there that we women have to act our part, be the woman that we all are meant to be, and not take on the pants in the relationship and have it our way. When you make a guy pleased and happy about himself, then for sure he will return the favor in making you his queen....
It also tackles what hurts you as a girl, what you have become and why - it is wonderful really when you assess yourself and see that you have some of those anger in you towards the first guy we loved... our fathers.. yeah it is there. you just have to find it, and let it go.
If you want a copy i can share it with you. :D
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
13 Feb 13
I might look it up at the local library. Thanks for the info. It does sound like something I'd like to read.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
14 Feb 13
I have to say that I don't think that I've ever actually read a book that shares a lot of relationship advice. However, because of some of the obstacles that my husband and I have been facing in our relationship currently, I do think that it would be good for me to read some books about relationships that might be something that will be able to help us through the problems that we've been facing.
I think it is either learning more about relationships or finding a good couple's counselor might be what it will take to save our relationship.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
14 Feb 13
I don't think reading a book can take the place of a counselor if the relationship is at a breaking point. These books are meant to help minor problems and keep a relationship on track.. not bring it back from the edge. I do wish you luck though either way. I hope you're able to handle these problems and get through this rough point.
@kourdapya (924)
• Philippines
14 Feb 13
I have read many books about self help and I enjoy reading them because I'm learning a lot. Not most about relationship though, but my favorite one is Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood. It taught me a lot of things about being a good wife to my husband, particularly. I love it, I hope to read more books about those things.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
14 Feb 13
You are the second person to recommend that book, I think I will have to check it out.
@kourdapya (924)
• Philippines
15 Feb 13
I have a pdf of that book, if you want I can give you a copy just give me your email. Have a nice day!
@Raine38 (12391)
• United States
12 Feb 13
I have never read a relationship advice book, because I was never in a relationship for a long time. And then the next relationship I had was with my husband now. I am not saying I never needed any help, I did but lets say during those times I was so broke to buy one . And also a bit proud to borrow the books of some friends. I can't see anything wrong in seeking help or inputs from writers who have devoted their lives and profession in understanding the social interaction of men and women and the relationship between them. We need all the help that we can get during the times that we need someone to say the right things to say. If ever my relationship now would need some help, I would be open into seeking some advices on these books. Who knows, right?
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
12 Feb 13
I think it's a good idea even if you're not in a relationship, or if your relationship is a good one. That way, knowing the information might stop you from making a mistake down the road that could end a good relationship.
@GardenGerty (160952)
• United States
12 Feb 13
I have read some relationship books and self help books over the years, but not lately. Much of it is common sense really. It is helpful to be reminded that we can choose how to get along. I like what you posted on that other site, though, and it is helpful to be reminded of these things in that way.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
12 Feb 13
I agree that it is common sense.. but we tend to forget, or fall into a rut, or just pick up bad habits. Personally, I'm a victim of bad habits that I need to change.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
13 Feb 13
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus is a very nice book. I was not able to finish it because the owner wanted the book back that time and I read in between work and home chores. But it's a very nice book. Reading it will make one realize the differences and learn to appreciate their partner by knowing them.
There is a queue of relationship advice books in the bookshelf but they're not in the priority list right now.
@sender621 (14893)
• United States
13 Feb 13
I have known many people throughout my life that have read books on relationship advice. I have never read these books for myself. Instead of reading on how to be inolved in a relationship I would rather face it on my own and cometo my own conclusions.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
12 Feb 13
I did, also the one your husband is reading, at the that time it was published it was populair, there also were more books with nearly exactly the same tips/advices. To be honest I can't say it did help me with the relationship I had at that moment. I decided to choose for me, to go for me and I am happy I dumped the guy.
@extremefun4fun (2908)
• India
13 Feb 13
my aunt used to read that kind of book and I think was getting some result in her relationship with her husband. I have not read that kind of book but I think nothing is better than love and respect