She Just Takes Things Negatively
By lloydbelleza
@lloydbelleza (1227)
Philippines
February 15, 2013 1:18am CST
When someone says something she takes it negatively. There was a time when our
immediate boss told us about the things we missed in our project, and there
she was saying that we were being scolded and reprimanded, etc. Well for me,
what our boss did was just giving us the things we need to improve the next time
we do another project, and there was really nothing wrong about it. I think
it was even best for us to know our flaws and know what to do to prevent them
from happening again. Sometimes it just irritates me when most, if not all,
is taken in a bad light. Full of worries, anxieties, and doubts, all these
negativities are really not good at work and for one's health. I get tired at
times from all her rants which sometimes do not make sense anymore to me.
But she is my friend, and I accept her for who and what she is.
It's just, human as I am, I reach my limits at times. I don't scold her. I simply write
and let this irritation flow out of my system. In that way, no friendship
is ruined. I tell her sometimes though that she should stop being this
pessimistic. I just hope that she is listening and taking it to heart.
18 responses
@purplealabaster (22091)
• United States
15 Feb 13
I definitely think that there is a difference between "constructive criticism" and being scolded or reprimanded. If a boss says that there are things that you can do to make your presentation better the next time, then that would be constructive criticism. We all have flaws, and knowing what our flaws are or what we are doing wrong is the first step in our being able to be and/or do better in life. If the boss yelled and said that you did a terrible job, on the other hand, then I would have to agree that it was being scolded or reprimanded rather than a helpful insight on how you could do better the next time.
@lloydbelleza (1227)
• Philippines
16 Feb 13
Yeah, I agree with you. There is such thing as a constructive criticism, and just a pure abuse of management power. As I can see, our boss is just doing some constructive criticism. Sometimes it's hard to see it that way when you are already clouded with so much negative emotion, or when you have already decided and convinced yourself that what the boss is telling you is only trash. I guess that's where my friend falls short. She tends to take things negatively. Before she even finishes listening, she already has told herself that she is being scolded. There was one time when we received a mail from our another boss telling us the things we need to improve from our last project. As I was reading it, I was convinced that she was gently telling us our shortcoming and giving us points on how to do better next time. But she, on the other hand, was telling me that our boss are scolding us through this mail. I said, the mail was well-written and very constructive. If our boss only meant to scold us, she could have not given us tips how to improve.
1 person likes this
@purplealabaster (22091)
• United States
2 Mar 13
I think that you have a point there ... if a person is already clouded with negativity, then how he or she perceives words of advice from someone else really might not have anything to do with how the other person is conveying those words but rather how he or she is receiving them, especially when other people are perceiving the exact same words in a different light. I think that if your friend could find a way to be more positive, then she might not be quite so sensitive all the time.
@edvc77 (2140)
• Philippines
16 Feb 13
Yes, they are people like that they are narrow-minded or just pessimistic. I avoid those kind of people. They are discourager or you tell them frankly what kind of thoughts you have and correct them so they would realize they are negative thinkers. You can't get anything good from them or just simply don't mind them.
@lloydbelleza (1227)
• Philippines
16 Feb 13
This pretty strong words from you. Well, my friend could be inclined to being pessimistic but not really narrow-minded. Despite her being pessimistic, and complains a lot, I care about her. I tell her at times when she is becoming unreasonable. I get easily irritated so I needed some time to breathe and compose myself before I say anything to her. I don't want hurting her feelings just because I couldn't control my irritation. That is unfair for her.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
15 Feb 13
Unfortunately, being a person that always takes things in a negative manner is just a characteristic that some people have. This is a characteristic that is commonly seen in a person that really is a perfectionist.
With that said, I know that the fact that this woman takes everything negatively is something that does get on your nerves, I really don't think that there is anything that you can do that will make her change the way that she thinks. Therefore, the best suggestion that I can make is to not let her negativity be something that brings you down.
@lloydbelleza (1227)
• Philippines
16 Feb 13
Maybe she is a perfectionist especially when it comes to work. But well, yeah, she really needs to minimize it a little bit more because it can really affect her performance at work. In my part, I will really guard myself and make sure I won't be too affected by it. Sometimes, I just couldn't help but be irritated and annoyed. But there are also times that I could just laugh about it.
@junmae (1586)
• Philippines
15 Feb 13
There is really such person that always take things negatively. They only stressing their selves with the things that doesn't mean anything to others. I also wondering why there is an attitude like that. One of the best approach with that is to tell her honestly what you sees in her attitude. Give her the benefits on thinking of a positive way but make sure that you will not make her feel awful.
@lloydbelleza (1227)
• Philippines
16 Feb 13
Every one has his/her own flaw. I accept her the way she. I just know, as her friend, that she could do better with her life than all the rants. I realized that I can't make her bad about herself just because she acts, thinks, sins differently than me. I, too, have flaws and I guess she already figured that out yet she accepts me for who I am because I am her friend. And I am also doing the same to her. As a friend, I would help her deal with this slowly. Making her realize that it is better to be grateful and thankful rather than throw out rants and complains.
@Raine38 (12391)
• United States
15 Feb 13
That is just a very bad way of seeing things. I wonder if she ever felt happy if she always sees the bad instead of the good in everything. 
Good thing she's friends with you. She can definitely use some positive influence in her. She may not change overnight, but maybe some daily doses of positivity might eventually help her change her mind about the way she sees things.
Good thing she's friends with you. She can definitely use some positive influence in her. She may not change overnight, but maybe some daily doses of positivity might eventually help her change her mind about the way she sees things.@lloydbelleza (1227)
• Philippines
16 Feb 13
Thank you for seeing that I am a positive influence to her. She is a happy person, sometimes happy-go-lucky to that extent.
She is not the type of person who succumbs herself to negativity and despair she just spill out things and complains. Other than that, she could laugh away almost everything. She is a cool girl. I just hope that things that will come out from her mouth are words of gratitude than complains.
@prettysexybrainy (189)
• Philippines
15 Feb 13
There are really people who are negas, and yes it is just sad that she is your friend . I hope she will adapt your character as being an optimist. I know your attitude will radiate more than her's. On the other hand, if she sounded annoying already, then you better stap away a little bit, you don't want to get rotten too.
@lloydbelleza (1227)
• Philippines
16 Feb 13
Actually, I am not sorry for having her as my friend. I am having fun with her, and she makes me learn and realize things that I could haven't if she were not my friend. I am thankful she is my friend despite this negativity she releases whenever she complains about stuff. I, too, am not a perfect friend. I have flaws but I believe she also accepted that when she made me as her friend. I don't like her being so negative but I am not regretful that she is my friend. As much as I can, I will help her deal with this, and try to aid her in getting the hold of things and start becoming more thankful rather than ever-complaining. As a friend, as things get tough, I will not leave her for my own convenience.
@chiyosan (30183)
• Philippines
15 Feb 13
Hi Lloyd! How are you doing? =) Well just keep your cool with her and understand that that is just how she is. often we just do not know how to deal but just rant and to write it in here. As irritating as they are, we just have to not take everything against our sanity. Some people's attitudes are just as irritating and we can't do anything about it anymore because trying to make them understand often won't help as they already have closed their minds to what and who they are. insisting on your point that they should not look at things negatively should mean you have more patience to actually push them towards the majority. But yeah, there are a lot of people who remains as they are and close minded even if you pushed so many times to make them change their attitudes.
@lloydbelleza (1227)
• Philippines
16 Feb 13
I am not saying that she is close-minded. And she really is a fun girl. I really have nothing against except for that negativity she often exudes when she rants and complains about stuff. But other than that, I really like her as a friend. This experience is also really helping me improve my patience, and tolerance with other people's personalities. As much as possible I want to live with peace with everyone, and respect who and what they are. But yeah, I also get to reach my level of tolerance and patience at times especially when I, myself, am too in a bad shape and irritable situation. I guess she is learning and taking things slowly.
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
19 Feb 13
Some people are not happy unless they have something to complain about. I don't know if they don't understand that their negativity makes those around them unhappy, or if that is their goal.
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
17 Feb 13
Some people always see the negative side of things. Some are only that way for a period of time when things are not going well in their life. Others seem to have been born that way. How to change their attitude, I don't know. Perhaps they need psychotherapy.
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
15 Feb 13
One of my favourite quotes is this one: "The optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious to the rose" (Kahlil Gibran) It sounds like your friend is so busy staring at the thorns that she doesn't find time to appreciate the rose, and that is sad. I also have family members and friends who focus on the negative things and sometimes it bothers me to listen to all those negative things especially when I think that it would be possible to see things in a more positive perspective. We can encourage other people to see things from a positive point of view like you sometimes tell your friend, but we can't change other people if they don't want to change. I sometimes find it hard to accept that 
@lloydbelleza (1227)
• Philippines
16 Feb 13
I like that quote you got there. Thanks for sharing. And it's true, some really tend to look and focus on the thorns and forget that there really is a beautiful rose standing out. Little by little, I want her to show how wonderful and better life could be if we just learn to become grateful and appreciative of all the things. Yes, we will have our times when we get hurt, mad, etc but what matters is that after the burst of emotions, we learn to see the light, and learn the lesson; to be able to get something out from that bad experience. We couldn't really explicitly instil this to anyone. They have to learn by themselves. They have to first accept that what they are doing is wrong, and they should have the resolve to change it. Until then, nothing will change. I, as a friend, will just help her slowly by showing her that we could always see the bright side of every circumstance in our life.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
16 Feb 13
Some people just do not take this thing constructively. A boss does not just scold the employees for the sake of just getting mad. It is for the company to be able to provide good service to its clients.
@anshu23 (147)
• India
16 Feb 13
That is right if you take something negatively it becomes a hindrance. I just take
criticisms positively. Thus I take some lessons from my failure. If you always react to somebody giving you suggestions also you may never succeed. Yes you are right in the sense that negative things just tend to take its toll on our health also. This is
the most depressing thing for me.
@cttolledo (5454)
• Legaspi, Philippines
16 Feb 13
maybe she's doing that to catch the attention of the crowd..But I salute you of being cool with the situation..
But for me, she is your friend so, you should be honest with her , you should tell her what you feel everytime she's saying that.You should let her reaalized that she is crossing the limits.She might not know what she is doing.
@skyandgrassplot (1497)
• China
16 Feb 13
In my opinion,I would like to say,some people born in this way,they always tend to thinking in negative,and I think that just scolding will not be helpful,and the way to persuade this kind of people is listen to them and take them for a walk to calm them down,then they will feel much better and will be recover very soon.
@lsjapdoit (651)
• Indonesia
16 Feb 13
I have pessimistic friends like that too. They are very good at picking the negative sides of everything. Knowing that they will stick to their beliefs firmly, I just become a good listener :)
@ArielAhhhh (126)
• China
16 Feb 13
Sorry for your friend and if someone always holds a negative attitude toward anything that has happened or still not, it would affect its futual result or its positive way to cope with .
And often, it would bring a bad influence as well to the people around her, easily being emotional.
