Why exactly do people feel like spreading rumors?
By Sissy15
@sissy15 (12300)
United States
February 16, 2013 4:05pm CST
Ok so here's the deal. I live in an apartment complex where all of my neighbors seem to find the need to stick their noses in where they don't belong. I have lived here close to a year now. I don't even talk to my neighbors much. I am a fairly private person. I have a neighbor that is very two faced. Tells you one thing to your face and then goes behind your back and makes up stories. She complains about every one of her neighbors to her other neighbors. I don't say much to anyone other than the occasional hi and how are you? Just to be polite. I don't discuss my life with anyone here. So where she finds her information is beyond me. She told our current room mate who is my boyfriends friend that I didn't want him here. Which I never said. He then felt as though I didn't like him. She said she over heard us arguing on a day we weren't even here! Also I don't yell loud I'm very soft spoken. She has also told the neighbors she doesn't like us because we complained about cats pooping in our yard. The only thing we ever said is we hate that the skunk that lives in our complex poops in our side yard. It's amazing that everyone here seems to "know" things about us yet we don't talk to anyone! It's one of those it's always fun to hear things about yourself that even you didn't know. I think people here have far too much time on their hands and no lives of their own. I hear things about the neighbors or will even hear them argue but I don't go spreading rumors about them. I wish they would have the same courtesy. I would move but this is one of the only places we can afford that's in a decent area. I also can't complain to the office because there's not really anything they can do about it. I basically have to live with it. It's just nice to vent once in awhile. Anyone else ever have a similar situation?
1 person likes this
12 responses
@sharonercastillo (888)
• Philippines
16 Feb 13
in every neighborhood there will be always something or someone like that, like you i dont go out much, i just stay inside the house , i only go out to clean outside or to buy something, i smile and greet neighbors when they pass by but i avoid prolonging the conversation. lol. you dont have to move, if you are comfortable in where you live right now, dont let those people get into your nerves, ignore and if you have to, when rumors is getting below the belt, confront, but it is necessary to make sure you have someone else hearing the conversation, or else that person might tell differently. goodluck.
2 people like this
@sissy15 (12300)
• United States
17 Feb 13
I am actually gone more than I am at home. Which is why I find it so funny that they have all of these stories about us. We aren't home half of the time to even talk to them or say anything anyone can over hear. I don't plan on moving. I am not overly fond of my neighborhood though. There are a lot of parents here who don't watch their kids. The kids play in the middle of the parking lot so it's a pain trying to make sure you don't hit one of them. They also leave their toys everywhere so you trip over stuff if you're not careful. Also the majority of people here enjoy talking about each other. There is just the one lady that pretty much fuels it all. I have a feeling if she left things would get a lot better. h The crime rate here is extremely low though. So over all it's fairly safe. I do my best trying not to let it get to me. I just find it more annoying than anything. I wont confront anyone though because I just don't see the need to dig myself in deeper and have a war on my hands. Best thing I can do is ignore it as I have been doing. Just once in awhile I find the need to vent I guess. I can and will live with it though.
1 person likes this
@Raine38 (12391)
• United States
16 Feb 13
I used to deal with the same kind of neighbors in my parents' old place. And there are only 2 reasons that I came up with as to why they like doing that: 1.) they have nothing else better to do so they just get their noses in to someone else's business and spend every waking hour weaving stories and making them so believable. In my case, they were housewives who doesn't or can't go to work because of laziness or unqualified to work. And 2.) their jealousy is so huge that they just felt the need to make you seem not so perfect even if that means that they have to weave a lie or two to make themselves feel better.
What I did is that I just let them talk and talk without giving in as I know they are waiting for me to say something back. I just let everyone else see how I really am and be the judge as to if I am the type that can really do something like what they are spreading. If I stayed quiet and just go on my way doing what I do best, they can never misquote me because everyone knows I don't give in to rumors. If I said something, chances are I will be misquoted so much and since some people did hear me say something I am just giving confirmation to the rumors.
2 people like this
@sissy15 (12300)
• United States
16 Feb 13
I haven't given in nor will I. I just stick to my own business. Everyone here likes to talk about everyone else though. Doesn't seem to matter what you do. They don't need to misquote when they make up a story on their own. Which is pretty much what they did. As again I don't talk to anyone here. The only time they even really see me is when I'm coming and going. I completely keep to myself. When I go to take my son out to play I rarely let him play outside in our yard I walk him to the park so I don't have to interact with anyone here. The biggest problem in this place is the older lady that lives directly next door to us. I'm hoping she is going to try and move soon. I think if she were to leave a lot of this would stop. She is old and doesn't seem to have much of a life other than making up stories and trying to get everyone else at each others throats. I don't even know why anyone takes what she says at face value. I mean they have to know she talks about them too. I guess it's just frustrating more than anything. People can think what they want about me as long as I know it's not true. I just hate that people are like that in the first place. I guess if that's all they have to do I should really just feel bad that they have nothing better to do.
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (12300)
• United States
16 Feb 13
I haven't given in, nor will I. I just stick to my own business. Everyone here likes to talk about everyone else though. Doesn't seem to matter what you do. They don't need to misquote when they make up a story on their own, which is pretty much what they did. As again I don't talk to anyone here. The only time they really see me is when I'm coming and going. I completely keep to myself. When I go to take my son out to play I rarely let him play outside in our yard. I walk him to the park so I don't have to interact with anyone here. The biggest problem with this place is the older lady that lives directly next door to us. I'm hoping she is going to try and move soon. I think if she were to leave a lot of this would stop. She is old and doesn't seem to have much of a life other than making up stories and trying to get everyone else at each others throats. I don't even know why everyone takes what she says at face value. I mean they have to know that she talks about them too. I guess it's just frustrating more than anything. People can think what they want about me as long as I know it's not true. I just hate that people are like that in the first place. I guess if that's all they really have to do I should really just feel bad that they have nothing better to do. I was just annoyed today after hearing stuff that wasn't true. It's funny that she says she doesn't like us but has the nerve to try and talk to us and be friendly and even ask for things from us. We felt bad for her being alone this Thanksgiving and took her some turkey as a friendly gesture we didn't even really talk to her we just brought it over said happy thanksgiving and left. I guess that's the gratitude you get when you try to be kind to others. We have never had any real conversations with her just a simple "hi, how are you? How was your day?" and would leave it at that.
@lloydbelleza (1227)
• Philippines
17 Feb 13
Maybe your neighbour has nothing else to do with her that's why she keeps on getting herself involved with yours. She may also find your life very interesting. I guess some people are just like that, they want to talk about other people's lives. I tend to do that when someone's name is brought up in passing. I don't intend to spread any rumours. I just say what I know. I think that is different, right? Well, yeah, you have to live it unless you trying talking to her and putting sense to her. She may listen and stop what she's doing. She may not think and realise that what she is doing is wrong and already breaking in to your privacy and personal life. Just continue keeping a low profile. If your neighbour don't stop doing what she's doing and she's going way beyond what's acceptable, you must stand up. You deserve a peaceful life in your neighbourhood.
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (12300)
• United States
17 Feb 13
Well I'm sure she doesn't have much else to do with her time she is an older lady who doesn't work, but she needs to find something constructive to do if all she has to do is sit around and talk about others. It's a different story if you're just talking about stuff in passing and are not just randomly creating stories for the heck of it. I don't even talk to this woman or say anything to her really other than the occasional hi, how are you? I'm sure she knows what she is doing. She does this to everyone. She is very two faced. Will say one thing to your face and then go around and say stuff to other people behind your back. She actually told our neighbors she doesn't like us. Yet will act so friendly to our face. She will tell us about the other neighbors when we don't even really talk to her. We will just be walking in the door and she will be like, "hey did you see what so and so did?" We just ignore her and are like oh? And walk inside. I don't give into that kind of stuff. We pretty much figured with her talking about the other neighbors like that she would talk to the neighbors about us, but we never gave her any ammo. It's not really worth speaking to her about. Our neighbors all talk to her about everything which I just don't get because they have to know she talks about them. I don't even repeat anything she tells us I figure it's their business no one else needs to know. I just wish they had the same courtesy.
@ruchadhawal31 (228)
• India
17 Feb 13
Hiii...!!!Everyone has to go through such kind of neighbours.. You just have to ignore them. According to me this is the only thing they have to do. lol. I harldy speak with my neighbours. They are more concerned about ours lives then their owns. Dont take it seriously until they get into your nerves..
@sissy15 (12300)
• United States
18 Feb 13
I pretty much already ignore them. I don't talk to them. I just get annoyed that I don't say anything to them to give them any ammo, but they still manage to find things to say because they make them up. I guess since there is nothing to do with their lives they find the need to put their noses in mine. I guess that's life. Some people seem to think everything is their business. I will just continue to keep my mouth shut.
@ruchadhawal31 (228)
• India
18 Feb 13
Hey nice to hear that. Dont spoil your day because of them and just relax..:-)
@chiyosan (30183)
• Philippines
18 Feb 13
Yeah i have a similar situation here in the office.
We have an officemate who posted something in his facebook status. He made a poem about a woman and a man caught in the act doing something in the office conference room. He gave out clues as to who the woman and who the man is.
His favebook status became so popular in his page and everyone made comments trying to guess who these people are and that they even were asking for more clues that he is already able to pinpoint who they were.
This made me feel uncomfortable and it made me feel worried about him being in the same team as me. think what he did was uncalled for and me and my friends in the office were shocked and worried that he might even get kicked out of the office because these were only allegations, and have no basis.
He did not even stop there and made a series of other statuses of what other things he has witnessed between the two. =( Poor woman, and that was really inconsiderate of him, given that he is friends with this woman, they even have lunch together and he was doing this behind her back... they are friends on facebook but i think he had these statuses blocked of her view.
May I just say that i think these people who spreads rumors, just want to be famous for being the one who was able to bring the news to everyone. In his case, we all really think that he shouldn't have done that and has just kept silent about it, even if it was true. Or if it bothered him, he could just let the people involved know about it and tell them not to be like that in the office.
I just feel sorry for the woman who was in the "blind item" and i feel for her because everyone seemed to have been looking at her with no respect anymore. I just hate people who do this only for a few days of fame, this does sure make him feel good, because everytime someone asks him who could possibly be the people he was talking about, he acts as if follow me everywhere and i will tell you. hay =(
@sissy15 (12300)
• United States
19 Feb 13
Yeah, it's a shame that someone can do that, especially to someone they call a friend. Not much of a friend in my opinion. I don't spread rumors, because I know they can hurt people. When I first got with my boyfriend my now soon to be ex sister in-law (thankfully) started spreading rumors about my boyfriend to my family, of things I had told her in private, and she spun them into lies, and half truths. A few members of my family chose to believe these rumors and were making him seem like a bad person. My brother (her husband) chose to believe her until the last couple of years after getting to know him and realizing he isn't a bad person and is actually a really great guy. Rumors can really hurt a person. There are still a member or two of my family that don't like my boyfriend, but I try not to let it bother me too much because I know he is a good guy so their opinion just doesn't seem to matter. She had done quite a few bad things that my family wasn't too happy with her, which is why I think she did this to take some of the heat off of her actions. It irritated me even more though because I was never anything but nice to her, and treated her better than the rest of my family, but not after that. She lost what little bit of respect I had for her that day. I guess this bout of rumors in my complex is almost nothing in comparison to that, but it just irked me after everything I've been through before with rumors. I hate that people feel the need to spread peoples business, or make up stories. Hopefully your co worker will get a good dose of karma for his actions. I guess that's all we can really do is keep our mouths shut and hope that people get what they deserve in the end. People like that need to learn that their actions have consequences and hurt others. Sometimes the only way that can happen is when the same thing happens to them. I will never lower myself to their level. I rarely say anything about other people that I don't say to their face, and if I do it's not me being spiteful so much as releasing stress. The only person I talk to it about is my boyfriend and that's because he wont spread it around it's just so I can vent my frustration. I don't go out and maliciously spread rumors.
@Aja103654 (5644)
• Philippines
18 Feb 13
Woah, talk about crazy neighbors. Those who believe such rumors without even confirming the truth are equally just as foolish. Stay away from that person and warn people you know about her tendencies.
@sissy15 (12300)
• United States
19 Feb 13
I agree with you about them all being foolish for believing her. I am sure they already all know. Which is why I don't get why they believe her. I have a saying that I use for people like her. Beware people who talk to you about others, because they will also talk about you to others. So if they haven't figured this out by now it's their problem. I refuse to talk to my neighbors for this very reason. I have only ever been polite. I don't ever share my private life.
@Aja103654 (5644)
• Philippines
19 Feb 13
That's awesome! Haha! You go tell them that! 
Best to be careful with your personal life and not spread it, else this nosy neighbor might catch it and have their way with it. Rumors can tarnish reputations that people work so hard for. Spreading rumors ain't attractive either. It's a cheap way to pass the time and it also shows what kind of person this neighbor is.
Best to be careful with your personal life and not spread it, else this nosy neighbor might catch it and have their way with it. Rumors can tarnish reputations that people work so hard for. Spreading rumors ain't attractive either. It's a cheap way to pass the time and it also shows what kind of person this neighbor is.
@cttolledo (5454)
• Legaspi, Philippines
17 Feb 13
I think she is not a busy person that's why she spent to much time in spreading humors or maybe she wanted to catch neighbor's attention.
Actually meeting with that kind of person cannot be avoided,but your still lucky that you discover her bad character early.
@sissy15 (12300)
• United States
17 Feb 13
You're right she isn't a busy person. I think she is just a two faced person that just likes starting crap. I pretty much discovered it the first week we lived here when she was trying to tell us about the neighbors, but I just kept what she said to myself and wasn't about to tell her anything about us other than my first name, which I think may have been too much. Only reason I told her that was to be polite when she introduced herself.
@sixntombstone (66)
• United States
18 Feb 13
When I was a kid, we had this neighbor who would be up in everyone's business. My dad was in the Marines, we lived off base but in a place that alot of other military families lived. This one neighbor I swear she had it out for my mom and dad. I am not sure what started it but she had my mom in tears one day because she accussed my mom of cheating on my dad. She tried to say that she saw two men leaving the house one day and my mom was kissing up on one and flirting with the other. Not only was this false but the day she claimed she saw this going on, we were on a family vacation.
My dad got wind of the rumor, when he came home, he went over to talk with the woman and her husband. From what my dad said the husband did not appreciate his wife spreading lies. He made her apologize. After that the neighbor really started telling some whoppers.
She made living there really tough, but we weren't the only ones she did this stuff to. Her husband ended up divorcing her and she had to move out. The day she moved out everyone she spread lies about stood outside together and waved her good bye, with the big grins on their faces. I was about 15 when all this happened. I remember my mom being upset alot but I also remember the day that witch left, after she was waved goodbye we had a small party.
@sissy15 (12300)
• United States
19 Feb 13
Sometimes confronting someone doesn't do much good. They feel the need to make your life worse after that. At least your father knew not to believe her. It's also great that her husband divorced her. I'm sure he could find someone much better. Especially since he obviously had to put up with so much of her crap. No one needs to be with someone like that. If I were you I'd be having a party too. I think if our neighbor moved I would have a party too! Glad that you don't have to deal with it anymore.
@ayushbhatia27 (18)
•
17 Feb 13
according to me people love spreading rumors because they want to their time. some people also spread rumors mainly from whom they are jaleous off so that they can make them feel low and also to make them feel disrespected..please don't think much about it..stay cool and be happy..
@sissy15 (12300)
• United States
18 Feb 13
I honestly don't think too much about it. I was just annoyed when I found out some of this at first. I had my little vent on here, and I'm pretty much over it. Sure it still annoys me a little but there is nothing I can really do about it so I'm just not going to let it get to me and go on with my life as I have been. I am sure some people do spread rumors out of jealousy and feel their own life is crap and have to get their high out of making other people feel low. I don't know what there is to be jealous of as far as my life goes. I am sure their lives are crap though with the crap I hear them yelling about, I just ignore them though and make my way home and don't mention anything I over hear. I figure it's their business. I just sometimes wish people would show me the same courtesy I show them and respect my privacy. I guess that's too much to ask for though.
@RespawnHardYT (4)
• United States
17 Feb 13
HOnestly, I dont know why this happens but it is very hard to avoid. If two neighbors typically arent friends, they began to spread rumors. That is my opinion.
