don't know what to do....

I don't think not getting him the things he needs is a bad idea. It doesn't matter when he will move out. I would think about it this way: if he had been living with his father sick young age, would you have stopped buying or contributing to the things he needs? The answer is probably no, so now is not the time to abandon him. Just because he will be 18 doesn't mean he doesn't need you. Unless he is living on his own and leaving your house on bad terms, then I would continue to support him, but also make sure that his father contributes as well.

Considering he will be moving in with his father I would do only the basics for him. Why should you buy everything if he will not be with you for a long time. I would do the basis as for the bedroom set let the father buy him that since he will be living with him. Why should it all be on you anyway. Since your son is choosing his father over you then just do what needs to be done for school and driving lessons since he will still be with you at that point. The bedroom set unless the ex is going half with you on the expense let him deal with it. In fact, he should be going half on everything from school ring, driving lessons, graduation party etc.... Good luck and everyone has to deal with an empty nest at some point. Don't worry you can do it.

Hi angelwithkids... Well I really feel bad that your son is moving out and you are left with an empty house. But then when he is moving out is something that you came to know from the conversation he had with someone else. Was it your son saying that he is moving out in April for sure, or was it your ex advising him to do it so. And has the son come back to you after the conversation he had with your ex and told you officially that he moving out. If not then he has not made the decision. And I think these are a few things he is not going to be able to pay for immediately. Yes it can be made clear that the expenses already thought about could be made by you. And now that he wants to move out, whatever expenses that will crop up he should bear. And a word of advice from a generation which more closer to your son's age, let the bird fly, stretch his wings and test them. Who knows, he may see the logic of coming back to you and staying with you. But dont alienate him now and say hey you moving out then take care of your own expense. That would be cruel.

Doing everything for your son as mom should not be a question... just do everything with love; It does not matter if he is going to move out or not... what matter is how you made him feel that he is well love and kept by her mother that is all that matters... because when you do... your son will be more confident because he knows he has a mother who loves him and a mother he can turn to no matter what. I am not a mother yet but I know as a daughter I have to move out and pursue the life that was been given to me... and every child leave his/her parents house to grow... but being a child whom being very love will always go back home to say hi and show our love to our parents and appreciation in everything they did for us. So don't worry its normal for a child to do things on his own.. and it is also normal for a child to experience both his parents care... so if he decided to be with his dad just let him be and just continuesly show him your love for him. God bless you.

Where will you son move to either in April or June??,,will he be going with his Dad or on his own...But the things you listed are just what should be done for his graduation.. other than the new bedroom set or driving lessons..But since he is in touch with his dad, where does he fit in this scenero. It just seems like his dad could pitch in on these things... Any way good luck and do what you can for your son,,it is an] important landmark in his life...

I'd do my best for whatever would be supportive for your son. I'm sure he's also mature enough not to put his mom in bad situation financially and emotionally. All will be well as I see you put your trust in God. Two of my elder sons go to local college and they still live with me. I have yet to experience having my kids leaving to be on their own. My third one is graduating from high school the end of this year and few weeks ago he told me he might be looking at some colleges at another state. He has always been the most independent one, but every time I think about what he said made me sad somehow. I know I can't stop him if that's what he wants and I have to support him instead. I also ask God to give me strength to go through everything for the sake of my children's best interest in life.

It sounds like you're having a tough time right now. Is your ex paying for some of the graduation costs? If he wants your son to move in with him in April, maybe he should be planning to pay for the graduation expenses. It sounds like he's being vindictive and using your son as a pawn, though. I would get whatever it was that you wanted to do for your son. He's still young and he'll make some mistakes. I wouldn't get him anything that wasn't something that you originally wanted or had on your list to pay for.

hi angelwithkids so your son wants to move out once hes eighteen but you are supposed to pay for all this stuff wow. cannot his dad lend a hand here as I know you are not made of money so ask for some help on this even he at almost eighteen could help a little with some of the costs.As you suggest why not just the basic and let him or his dad pay for the other st uff. Why should you have to handle all those costs if hes moving out on you. It will take some getting used to for awhile I can well imagine. hope things turn out well for you.I will send some prayers to help your son and you with all these costs.

I think that's pretty crappy that you foot the bill on everything. It's wrong. I understand wanting to have a nice graduation but you had this child together so you should both help with the costs of this graduation. Knowing that your son is being used as a toy to take jabs at you is sadder still. I don't understand that and went through it with my step children. I wouldn't be paying for everything if you know he's going to move out. TO me that's just wrong for your son to do that. No one should be expected to foot the bill on everything all to be told thanks and see ya around the next day. One day your boy is going to realize he was manipulated but in the mean time, sit down with him and tell him that you just can't be expected to pay for everything. A family pulls together in hard times and even if it's his graduation he needs to e realistic on what you can and can't afford.

Hi angelwithkids, it is really shocking that your son is leaving you after completion of his graduation. His father is calling him. Actually a kid wants affection of both his/her mother and father. Probably father will not tolerate his activities, the way a mother can. After few days, he will realize, love of which is better. You should pay all his dues or you should ensure it from your ex. It is better, you can pay it, if you are able to pay. Have a nice day.

I think you should follow what is in your heart to make your son happy. Moving out doesn't mean no plans of returning so it is okey for you to pursue with your plans of providing your son to have his own room .. Take note your are the mother and no child can stay long without the mother...

I do not have a kid yet, but if I were in your position, I will do everything that I can do to help my kid. As long as I will not be forsaking or letting go of my own basic needs, my kid will be given priority. We cannot hold them with us forever even if we want to. Like you said, sooner or later they will have to go and be independent. Actually, if only I am rich and capable I would never want any of my children (if ever) to go far away from me. But since I know I am not and I can only teach them so much about life, they will need to leave in order to grow.

If you are financially capable, it is best to give your son what he deserves since he he is graduating in June. He will soon become an adult so you need to accept the fact that he will make his own decisions already. Give everything you can give to him and show him that you love him so much.