Making a difference when you have cancer

@bingskee (5234)
Philippines
February 18, 2013 9:26pm CST
An uncle was diagnosed with cancer and he's bedridden. The fact that I remember him as one jolly person stopped me from visiting. I am scared to see him in such a helpless situation. I would want to remember him and his funny stories, his jokes, his warm companionship. It makes me remember some things I wrote for the post What if I have cancer in my blog? What if you have cancer? And you are rich? Will you be giving a part of your money to whom? Or will you enjoy to the fullest, at its extreme points? Will you ask forgiveness from someone you have wronged? Or will you put an end to a long-standing affair with another woman other than your wife? Or will you put an end to this affair with a married man? That uncle surely is indisposed right now, being bedridden, to do something more, or something different. He had brought out smiles though on the faces of many and that is a legacy that will be remembered. It might be said that it is too late to be doing things now if one is ailing but I have to say that if I am afflicted of the big C, I will definitely press out some misunderstandings, and show kindness to those people that ruin almost my every day and make me hate them, and bestow more love and understanding to my children, and javascript:__doPostBack('ctl00$cphMainContent$lbStart','')husband. I might also think of lotto betting. Who knows if I might win and I will definitely share it with the needy. With an emphasis on the needy, of course. Share some thoughts?
1 person likes this
7 responses
theSids
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
19 Feb 13
Dear Ms Bingskee I know two senior lotters here who have been suffering from cancer - Marguicha and Writersedge. They both have been my icons in real life now and I always look on them for inspiration and motivation. I know, today or tomorrow, I am going to have intestinal or colon cancer for sure as that is what is predicted future for my ailment of Ulcerative Colitis. I dont have any riches to donate but definitely, I would like to fight it the way the two above have fought. And I do hope that as long as I live, I will not be a burden on my family - I have experienced a little during 2008 and it was really horrible. So I would love to have something better.
bingskee
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
20 Feb 13
hi, thesids. nice to read that you are focused on not being a burden and looking for something better, if something goes wrong. i think i have to visit the two mylotters mentioned. i do hope your previous ailment will not lead to the big C. take care.
bingskee
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
20 Feb 13
hi, thesids. nice to read that you are focused on not being a burden and looking for something better, if something goes wrong. i think i have to visit the two mylotters mentioned. i do hope your previous ailment will not lead to the big C. take care.
rebel_woman06
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
19 Feb 13
So how does your uncle take his being bedridden. Is he irritable, or still jolly despite his present predicament? My father in-law was also stricken with cancer of the prostate stage 4. He was bedridden since March. But what is admirable about him is that, he still have the enthusiasm to live, because he really make a way for him to be able to stand someday. He is patient with his physical therapist who comes to the house every MWF. In fact, his once a month injectable medicine which costs PhP19,000.00, has already been eliminated after 4 months, because his PSA went from 140 to 0! Us, at home makes him feel well supported. In fact, we placed his bed in the lobby of the dining room, where everybody always converge. Thus, he don't feel alone .
bingskee
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
20 Feb 13
how are you? i have no idea, simplyd. i have not gathered the courage, too, to visit. i am anxious that it will be too late once i decided. the best thing we could do with loved ones who are ill, and are too indisposed to even stand on their own, is to let them feel loved. it is imperative to create an atmosphere of love and happiness, too. your FIL sounds like a fighter. the attitude is what gives him the chance to live longer.
rebel_woman06
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
21 Feb 13
Yeah, he is a fighter indeed. At his present position, he still can be imposing. But my mother-in-law would always block whatever unrealistic requests he asks. In fact, they would always shout at each other, i have to intervene.
kingparker
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
20 Feb 13
Well, an aunt of mine also die of cancer a few years ago. She was a brave woman, who didn't scare of it, and who had gone without a shed of tear. Although she doesn't have much money to do what she always wanted, but I guess that she already done her best to fight this disease, and she had done her best not to be a burden to her husband and her daughter, since the medical fee will be astronomical. Anyway, with this big C disease, it was hopeless, but at least someone know how to treat life fairly.
bingskee
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
20 Feb 13
indeed, kingparker. your aunt is brave. i hope that i could be as brave when faced with life's challenges.
pomwango
@pomwango (1353)
• Kenya
19 Feb 13
i think its good to be there for your uncle, dont let him ail and also feel the loss of his family,stay by him and support him.we would also want people with us through that painful time, am sure spending time with him will add value to his days here than avoiding him.
bingskee
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
20 Feb 13
he has his family and closer relatives. he is not an immediate relative of mine but my husband's, but i admired and liked him so much. i am working out on gathering the courage to see him in that state. i hope it will not be too late.
extremefun4fun
@extremefun4fun (2908)
• India
19 Feb 13
Well, I do not think if to have a cancer means end of life. it is depends to how strong a person is and what is the meaning of life for that person. I have seen a lady who has cancer for many years but has stop that and live that much happily with joy with her family that we never even think that she has cancer and I have seen some people who did not suffer from any disease they have passed away but the one who has cancer still lives too happily with joy of her husband and children. it is depends to power of our mind how a person can come over terrible things when other can not.
bingskee
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
20 Feb 13
oh, yes, having cancer does not automatically mean that your life ends. it does give the idea that you have to make the best of what you have having the big C. the premise what if you learned you are afflicted with cancer, what do you plan to do that will make a difference in your life and in the life of others?
uzmabanoori
@uzmabanoori (2)
•
19 Feb 13
i m very sorry 4 ur uncle.but if u have trust in GOD ,he will surly help ur uncle.,he will get better day by day
bingskee
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
20 Feb 13
i think getting better is dependent on the type of cancer and its stage. if it is on the advanced stage, and had rendered a patient immobile, there's nothing left to pray for but for God to have mercy and make the ordeal easy and painless for the patient.
dorannmwin
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
21 Feb 13
Being as how I'm the spouse of a man that is a cancer survivor, I have to say that I know now that cancer doesn't mean the end of the world. Yes, when my husband was diagnosed with cancer, we did have some changes that were made in our home, but none of the changes that happened at the time that Tom was diagnosed were great changes that you've mentioned in this discussion. You might build or break some relationships with people, but you don't necessarily have to feel like this it is your last chance to make changes in your life because cancer isn't necessarily a life taker.