Stay at home Dads....

well as I see this your son deserves alot better then then what he is getting from the inlaw and he should make you proud I dont know of many men who would give up any chance to even find a job and support his family ansd know he is mr mom while his wife is at work I dont see a thing wrong with that as long as he and the wife are ok with it for now

I don't think it's that way for every stay at home dad because I've known some who were still treated with respect and took an active part in family decisions and so on. I suspect it has more to do with your daughter in law. Maybe she feels emboldened because she is the breadwinner, but that doesn't give her the right to treat him differently than she did before. I do understand about the babysitting as I have the same problem. My son and his wife live across town and her folks live in a different state. Guess who sees the baby more often? Not me. Okay, I'll quit griping about that, but I do understand your concern over your son. It's hard to see things change for the worse and not be able to do anything about it.

Taking care of children is a hard job and I believe that when the government and the last recession decided to lay off men and to hire women for less pay, that their intention was to feminize men. It worked, so now men are now considered second class citizens. You daughter-in-law is treating your son or rather emasculating him because he is looking after the baby and that is wrong. Maybe you could persuade your son to get on mylot. (Mind you I have been hinting at mine and they both have full time jobs, but then they do not live in the States.) Have a heart to heart talk with your daughter-in-law. Tell her that maybe she could take less hours and that your son could go to work part time, so both would take turns. I do not know if she would listen, but I fear her working all the time is making her feel that she is the boss, not her husband.

And how is that any different than the way some men treat stay-at-home-moms? It isn't right, but the spouse who has a job outside of the home sometimes views the one staying at home as "not doing much of anything." It doesn't matter that the floors are scrubbed, the baby diapered and in clean clothing, bed made, dinner cooked and laundry done, there is still the view that the person at home has done "nothing" all day. Being a stay-at-home parent is a very difficult job if it is done correctly. Sure, there are lazy SAHMs and SAHDs who really do spend their time ignoring the kids and the housework in favor of playing a Facebook game or watching soap operas. However, there are also many who spend much of the day educating the child(ren), cleaning the house, doing laundry, cooking, taking care of dealing with repair people and handling the social obligations for the family. That truly is a full-time job.

Well it all depends I think on the man. How he feels about himself. And the problem here was that the stay at home dad was not out of choice. It was that he lost his job and couldnt find a new job and so he was at home. Whereas she held on to her job - a good one with most probably a good pay and she seems to be in a good position. It makes a difference. It also depends on him. Why is he taking her crap, if he thinks it is so. He should never let go of his pride whatever the situation may be.

this is just my thoughts so please do not take personal, I have been that route before and I did work most all the time and the other stayed home because of the jobs. anyway I had more experience also. however that is the choice of the both partys..as long as they both agree and they each do their part it does not matter who works and helps out..you have to look at the girls parents maybe they think differant because it is their daughter and you think that way because it is your son. maybe they do not want the daughter to work?? back to the couple they are the ones that decide anyway what they want...regards just support them the best you can ..sometimes inlaws become outlaws in anothers eye point of view.. just be kind..accept what may and everything will work out..people do change and it is done mostly out of kindness and love..truth is it takes two people to live halfway right these days.. and have what they need...when 2 are working they can split everything ,bills etc. and getting away some...I was raised the man always needs to be working..however it is not that way sometimes because I know I worked . Any job is better than no job at all..sometimes we have to start small and work up.. have a great day and it is good you are concern for the family. I know a man that sold avon to help his family out some..he even mowed yards.. so like I said any job is better than none..

I admire him strongly for doing that, most men wouldn't entertain the idea, and see the job of chief breadwinner as their sole responsibility, and would see looking after a child as women's work, and some wouldn't even be cut out to do this. I have trained to look after children from 0-8 so I know just how much hard work and responsibility they are, at least I can give the children back at the end of the day, your son can't. The way he is treated I find hard to stomach, he should be appreciated for what he has sacrificed, not belittled or treated differently. I wish more men could be stay at home dads, and the stigma removed, we are after all in the 21st century and not still in Victorian Times, with victorian beliefs that women should be chained to the kitchen sink.

Hello dear Ctryhnny I hope that you are fine. I can imagine how worried you are for your son, because I think you never dreamt this future for your kid. When we have our kids in our arms, since the day they are born we dream with their full success in their adult life. We are used to see stay at home moms, but not dads. Most of us have the working dad figure. I think that for an instance it isn´t to worry too much about, but in the long term it would be the best for him to find a good work where he can feel proud and happy, or why not to set his own business as many men do? I´ll have him in my prayers. Blessings for you Ctryhnny and your family... dainy

I don't think so about it, friend. Because it's now normal for husband to be at home due to some reason. I am now stay at home dad and make a living online because I am also resigned with my jobs and due to competition and hard to find an offline jobs. I think about online as a remedy to make money...even if this is a good income. I think much be better than nothing...

I really don't think that men that choose to stay at home with their children while their wife goes to work loses anything with their manlihood in the grand scheme of things. What I'm saying is that my brother was a stay at home father for a long time with his oldest daughter because he had just finished college and was not able to find a job in his field so it made more sense for him to keep Lilliana at home and not pay for a babysitter. In fact, I think that the greatest thing that came from his staying at home with his daughter is that they have a much stronger bond than many children have with their father.

I think that depends of the acceptance of both the husband and the wife. If if's okay with the wife to reverse their roles, I see no problem with that. The husband must understand the wife's situation and the husband should do the same with his wife. Respect for each other should be there, because that was not an easy situation, and in your case, it was not their choice. Acceptance and support for each other is what they need in order to raise the family well.

Hi today is a differnt world.and everyone Is differmt.to.today there is more stay homedads With the way.the.job market is today. The benfit is.gettimg.closer to ypur kids What he may do to make money Is to look for something on line.

Thanks a ton for sharing this discussion. Well that is a great thing to hear about your son who is enjoying his time with his son and yes i do feel sad about him losing his job but i strongly feel that we are yet to reach a stage where people would accept home dads as normally we all feel that dads should be working and ladies should be at home. so i think he should not feel bad about this and should be patient till he gets a good job. What say?

You're completely right. Many women are treated poorly when they stay at home to care for their children as well. It's a shame really, since taking care of a child is one of the most important things in life, and one of the most difficult as well. Should she really treat him poorly when he is the one raising HER son? Seems silly, as that may make the son turn against her, as he would be closer to his father than to his mother. It seems like stay-at home positions aren't so respected, whether it is the father or mother. It is a form of discrimination just like any other form and it should be stopped, just as other forms of discrimination are being stopped.

I think it is great for a guy to stay home with the kids. It is wrong for his wife to not treat him as an equal. I would have trouble with that one.

I think this happens in a lot of families, and it's just a natural part of the adjustment period once one partner starts staying at home. I don't think it's about him losing his manhood, unless you think that men should always be the ones in charge - women lose some say when they are the ones to stay at home. My husband and I both work, and we have scheduled our work so that one of us is always home. So the division of household labour is fairly even. Even so, we still treat each other differently than we did before we had our son - obviously, we have to make some adjustments. We ask more of each other than we did before, because there is more work to do. It isn't about second class citizenship.

It isn't just stay-at-home dads that get treated that way. Stay-at-home moms get the same treatment, at least they did when I was rearing our children. I didn't feel that I was respected as an equal until our children were nearly grown, and I got a full time job.

Well, my husband was a stay at home dad for quite a long time, too. And I worked for more than 10 years. But he never thought of himself as a second class citizen nor did I let him feel that way. I think it depends on the husband himself on how he sees things going on around their home. But if you think and see that your son has somewhat gave up on being the "MAN OF THE HOUSE", then maybe you could talk to him about it. We may never know what will happen in the future if he allows himself to be stuck in this kind of situation.

I know how you feel when you see your son not getting the respect he deserves ,but this was bound to happen .Your son should continue to work even if it pays less ,even his wife can work and since you stay close by you can opt to take care of the kids during the day ,imagine what A happy family it would be all helping each other .

I have seen those men that they sit at home they change and behave little diffrent from another men. and it is same for some lady too, some lady after taking all home expenses, rent responsibility and work out, change too.