Sis in law still hasn't added me back on Facebook and still not talking to me
By kemak28
@kemak28 (724)
United States
February 19, 2013 1:46pm CST
We met with my sis in law and her husband(my husband's brother) a couple of weeks ago per their request to discuss all the issues we have been having. The issue has been my sister in law but they would like to think differently. She thinks I'm a horrible person so has a huge issue with me because of the following.
-We didn't go to her Dad's memorial party (he died last year). The party said no kids and we couldn't find a babysitter for the night. My husband and I talked to her husband about it when we were invited and he said no big deal we don't have to go. But she hates me for how I handled it. We sent cards, meals, flowers, etc.. but yet we are horrible.
-Their baby was baptized a few months ago and my daughter was napping so my husband just went to the church by himself and my daughter and I joined them later at the celebration they had at their home. She hates me for not coming to the church. I was supposed to bring my crying, tired baby to the church.
-My daughter and I are going to Florida in a couple of weeks to visit my parents for 10 days. It was hard to find a direct flight that was reasonable but when we played with the dates enough I got a cheap flight that we could afford. I will be gone and miss my sister in law's birthday party she is having for her son in March. She told my husband and I that I purposely booked my trip in March so I could avoid her and her son's birthday party. And we did that even though invites hadn't been sent out yet.
She is so spoiled and demented I can't believe it. My husband and I spoke our mind but we didn't get nasty because we felt bad for my husband's brother and she just looked like she wanted to fight. I'm not sure anything good came out of talking it over. She had removed me as a friend on Facebook when she heard I wasn't going to make it to the birthday party. She hasn't added me back yet and we haven't really heard from them. It's so ridiculous I'm left speechless.
1 person likes this
7 responses
@teotimoponcerosacena (1551)
• Philippines
20 Feb 13
There's no big deal, so what if she don't like you as long as you are true to yourself nothing to worry. Just be prepared and worked for the good of your family to succeed for the better. Nobody knows anytime she will be the one chasing you in the future.
@sk66rc (4250)
• United States
19 Feb 13
Everyone will do their own thing with their own lives... That's why I've learned not to count on anybody for anything... Granted I need help myself now & then... Personally, I wouldn't worry about what she does... That's one less person you have to deal with on & off line... People will say & do what they will regardless of what you do & say... Leave her be & live your life like you should... That's that...
@sk66rc (4250)
• United States
20 Feb 13
Only thing she can do is what you allow her to do... When you say she'd pull you & your husband into her drama, that's only because either you or your husband, or both, allow her to do so... If she keeps calling you with her drama, tell her you don't want any part of it... If she keeps doing it, change your phone number or get the phone company to block her number... If she keeps doing it, then call the cops... If that doesn't work, get a restraining order... If that doesn't work, get her locked up... See a pattern? If she keeps escalating, so should you till it ends... There's an old saying... Freedom needs to be earned... Same concept... There are thing that ought to be & things that are the way it is... Not saying its fair, but sometimes you have to work at it to get what you want... If she won't leave you alone, then work at it to get her to leave you alone... Nothing comes free in this world, I guess... Or at least nothing worth having...
@kprofgames (3091)
• United States
19 Feb 13
Wow. I went back to your previous discussion about your family meeting and I'm still taken back by the level of this woman's immaturity. It's a hard place to be in when it involves family but what happens if you stop trying with her? You can't please her, you already know that. You can't change who she is either.
One must wonder what her problem is if she can vent so much anger at you over these little things. If this were me, then would just chalk it up to she's never going to like me so I'm not going to give her any power over me to stir the pot.
I have a sister-in-law like that. The world only revolves around her. My brother gets upset with the rest of the family but we tried. We can't change her, nor can we get her to see past her own narrow mindedness so just chalked it up to it is what it is and that is that. It's not easy but sure helps us maintain our sanity when have to be around her.
@kemak28 (724)
• United States
19 Feb 13
Yes, my Mom has told me the same things that she's never going to be happy with what I do and I'm never going to change who she is. I'm not the only one she has had problems with but I find it interesting that they think so lowly of me and assume the worst since I am family.
They have wrote off some friends for simply not coming to the child's baptism which is ridiculous to me.
She is spoiled and has unrealistic expectations of people and the way things are going they are going to continue to lose friends. I feel bad for my husband's brother because it's like he's become brainwashed by her and is starting to think and act like her.
Thanks for your comments.
@Raine38 (12391)
• United States
19 Feb 13
Well, we can choose who to get married to, but we can never choose who to get related with after that. And it seems you just got so unlucky in the sister in law raffle. But from the sound of it, you and your husband never really did anything wrong. It was all in her head, she thinks the world revolves around her and expects people to drop everything they are doing just so they can come and do her bidding. Well, too bad, it isn't how it works. Good thing though that you still went there and have a talk if only for the sake of your husband's brother. I also feel sorry for him but I guess they are grown ups now and must deal with their own problems the best way they know how. Let her stay mad or unrelenting, so what if she does not add you back on facebook, it's not as if she is a big loss for you anyway.
@sixntombstone (66)
• United States
20 Feb 13
Your SIL sounds a bit out of touch with the world around her. Does she not realize you have family outside of her, who you want to see as well. I don't think there is anything you can do to please her. Just think if you had brought your tired cranky child to her kid's baptism she would be complaining about that instead of you not going. It is obvious by her inability to compromise or see past her own nose that she only thinks how something effects her and doesn't look beyond that.
For your sake I hope she doesn't try to friend you again on facebook, it would make your life easier. At this point you have said your peace, it is time to stop trying to explain anything to her. Let her stay in her own little world, you'll be happier in the end.
@paperdolls28 (222)
• Philippines
20 Feb 13
Whoa! I can really feel that. I had the same issue few years ago including the facebook thing and would love to tell you these: "Focus your time, emotion and energy to people who loves you so much. Don't mind "immature and brats" who are stressful. As long as you are true to yourself and you have a good relationship with your husband, there is nothing to worry about. You did your best to reach out, so cheer up!"
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
20 Feb 13
You have done what you think is necessary just to have peace in the family. but if she still refuses to be in contact, well, just let it be. If I were on your place, I wouldn't bother anything about her anymore. I am not guilty of anything and it is only her who gives bad meaning to situations.
