Have you realized that you need to put yourself first?

Part of me agrees with you---you should be more-appreciated and your guy should see that the wonderful treasures you bestow upon him would be more-wonderful & more-abundant if he showed more appreciation. The other part of me is ashamed to know you and HOPES you leave him, because you do not give glory to G*d. If you did it all for the glory of G*d, then you would either 'grin & bear it' for your guy (giving him the power to give G*d more glory), or you would go ahead & leave him in order to see that more glory goes to G*d. What all does your guy do? (Both his job, and the reason you married him AND the way he behaves that makes you wanna leave him)

Hi! It is a sorry state of affairs that your hubby does not show any concern about you, while you take care of him consistently. I think before taking any drastic decision, you need to talk to him and confront him about your grievance. You could warn him that if does not change he should be prepared for the worst and then he would not get any chance to mend. All the best.

Sweety, many, many women do not put themselves first. Some lose all self esteem and become loveless. Sadly, this is the person their children take after. Some women who do not put themselves first do not have to because their husband does that. He appreciates her, loves her, respects her. He helps her around the house, he encourages her and their children learn the right way a family should be. I stayed in a violent situation that was also similar to yours. I allowed my husband to abuse me, treat me like dirt and walk over me and take advantage of my loving, good nature. I did leave eventually but it was too late. My self esteem was in shreds and even though I am intelligent, capable and good, I have been unable to form a loving relationship with anyone. My 2 daughters are the same. At some level there is sadness and emptiness and it will never go away. Please see that there will be consequences of your actions or inactions. Please save yourself whichever way you can and which you think is best.

Yeah, I do feel what you feel right now.. the feeling of not being able to express what you truly feel, how you long for their care and their understanding. It's always me who understands them, I always have to make them happy but deep inside they don't know I am not happy. They don't care about it. They are so selfish.. i hate those type of feeling, they don't care others feelings..

There is no point in asking you now whether you did not know about this before you said 'I do' and so many other questions to which you may have answers but it would be too late now. Please do what you think is the best for you and your kid, under the circumstances.

I am sorry to hear that about your husband Dominique. I think, when your husband isn't helping you in any way, maybe you should separate yourself and your child from him. Provided of course that you can make it on your own. Because if he somehow helps in the finances , then it is something to consider if you can't stand on your own.

Hello Dominique, I hope that you are fine. I know what you are talking about. I went through this 6 years ago. I was just home keeper, and I got sick to reach hospital. Until that day I began thinking more about me. I began exercising, I opened an online eshop, and I hired a house helper. I lost 7 pounds and my hubbie began looking to me again as when I was single. It´s kind of survival challenge. I´m sure you´ll get what you want, and maybe your hubbie will fall inlove again. Good luck! Blessings Dominique...dainy

Sometimes I am tired to put my kids and hubby in a first line when i feel that way, I give my self privilege to do anything that I want if i push my self in serving them first, I just want to end the relationship and leave the house I guess you need time for yourself and pamper

I think if that is a results of a relationship. Better to give up things on that man and consider your daughter. It's not bad to have another man into your life after your partner leave you alone. But it's a bad thing to denied your daughter because of such kind of man. Love should not be broken something we posses but kept someone to take care off.

I haven't entirely reached that point in my life, but it is quickly becoming something that I'm getting really close to and there are definitely times that I do consider leaving my husband because of some of the crap that he has put me through in the last couple of years. I mean for the most part I do put my children first. However, when it comes to me I am usually the one that is at the bottom of the barrel. Meaning I won't get myself things that I need and I also put up with the verbal and sometimes physical abuse that my husband puts me through. Why? Because I don't want my children to have to grow up with a broken family. I'm getting stronger every day though and I might eventually be able to do what I think I'm going to have to do.

Always not only once or if you get hurt in a relationship badly and if everyone knows how to take care of themselves,they are up and ready and deciding to take challenges in relationship to the next cater always

I just realize that I have to put myself first, because I am the one who's doing all the things to help and give. And I know it's so annoying, frustrating and sad at the same, when we are not appreciated. Especially when we are dealing with someone whom we love, there are times that I just want to run and stay away from that person, so I can do whatever I want without thinking about him or her. But then if those people are family members (blood related). I guess we can't just really run away from them, can we? Maybe we can keep our distance until we feel better.

I'm sorry to hear about your story. Well, I guess the best thing to do if you feel that your relationship with your husband is really deteriorating and you feel like you don't love him anymore is to confront him and tell him everything that you feel. If you can still fix the relationship then try to, for the sake of your daughter. If you really decide to break up with him, then do it. But I hope you'll remain friends. It is hard for your daughter to see that her parents are not in good terms.

MARRIAGE is sacred, binding two people in love and became ONE, in the presence of the Lord. One has to respect and trust one another; one that has the seed of LOVE in their heart to have what we call a family. You choose your mate before you choose to have your family, how lovely those moments that your dearly love each other. the responsibility of a woman is to take care of the man and his family and the MAN to provide the means to raise his family. NOW, if family was raise, everyone should put in center the spirit of God , be united as one family, respect one another and trust what they are worth. If you follow what Jesus does for our salvation, and to Yahweh ,his only son to bear this suffering , what about the human he created, what does he do for his salvation. We care about ourselves, why dont we care for others...have you heard what love means... LOVE is the will for the good of others and it is a prayer away from your hope. Ask God's forgiveness and discernment to keep your family united with love, respect and trust. When you want to serve, be the last and God will return the favor. Hope you think first, the consequence and what kind of family you want to show to God.

Unfortunately there are a lot of men and relationships that are like that. It would be nice if more could be more work together and always be happy. It might be time for you to look things over and decide for yourself what is best from here. Maybe even consider marriage counseling first if you think it would help. But if not, might be time to move on for the sake of yourself and the kids.

I realized I was actually my own worst enemy, by putting others first and their needs before my own I was actually becoming a doormat, I was seen as passive, easy prey for bullies and ex's. I became dependent on them and living for them instead of living for myself. It took me a long time to realize that my needs have to come first, through guidance through counseling I was able to start putting myself first and attending to my needs, learning to say no came difficult at first, but now I am more dependent, on myself and I concentrate on me and no one else.

yes, i'm 35 years old already and still single, i just learned to my self first a year ago, at first i always think of other people, specially my partner that i give most of time, effort and money, but i the end we just broke up, and i'm doing this kind of treatment to my partner, but same outcome, always we end up to broke up, i don't the reason behind, but anyway now i was able to handle such relationship, and i don't give more time to my partner just fair enough time.

Yes it takes a while to get to that point, but then there comes a time when you have to do what you have to do for yourself and your children. Human relationship is a funny thing, but er have to think and live for our sanity and not think with our emotions about the ties and attachments we have to others.

Dominique25, I understand what you are feeling because I am in the same situation as you are but before you make some drastic decision, please think twice, seek an advice, try to talk to him and most of all pray.

Hi, I think better to talk with your husband. Better to talk with him about with your issues and do not rush in decision in making. Maybe it can still be solve through nice sharing of your sentiments.