Would you Divorce Her?

sid556, it is because I love my guy so much that if he wanted kids I would let him find a woman to have his kids. It is what he wants, needs.It would be selfish for me to keep him with me Knowing I will Never change my mind.For me to love means to put his happiness on par with my own. If No kids will make him resentful and sad then he should go and have kids with someone else.

Oh, I understand that, Sarah. I would be the same if my boyfriend really wanted kids and I did not. Myself, I would not harbor resentment even if I wanted kids . I know this because it's just not in my personality to do so. I guess I always felt that I wanted kids but I also accepted that it was a possibility that I may not have them. If I had been decieved by someone claiming to want kids then saying they did not after we married...I'd be furious. People don't usually want kids and then decide that they don't. They may want to wait and many will change their minds and want them as they get older but I don't hear of many that want kids and then suddenly don't unless they were being decietful from the start.

I see what Sarah is saying. If they did not take the time to discuss issues as important as this then there are probably many other important things that they did not take the time to discuss prior to entering into such a commitment. Also, there is always that possibilty that even when taking precautions a pregnancy can occur. It happens a lot more than you would think. That is something else that needs to be discussed prior to. A part of me does feel though that if she left her husband because he did not want children then the love itself was not very strong to begin with. If I was deeply,madly in love with my husband and he refused to have kids while I wanted them, I would,of course, be disappointed but I would not decieve him and deliberatly get pregnant(that'd be just dumb)and I would not leave him because I love him too much. I might periodically bring the subject up knowing that people do sometimes change their views over time but in the meantime I would find other ways to get my "kid fix" such as working with kids, daycare etc. You can enter a marriage both wanting children only to find that you are not able to. Adoption is expensive, other methods can be risky and expensive as well. It's all about thinking ahead to all possible consequences and these are just a couple of them.

Like I said, if my love wanted children I would tell him to go out abd find a woman who wants children. We can always remain close.

He does. I asked him point blank, does he want children More than he wants me and thankfully he said no. He is willing to be with me Without children.

Okay, that might be a good explanation to your love. Hope he understand about that matter...

I do! I'm with a man who doesn't want children. I asked him way before we got serious.

They just assume that Everyone Wants to marry and have children so they Never ask. And then they find out that their partner Never wants to have kids and the battle begins. Or some people actually assume they can change a person's decision in time. Wrong. And then They find out their view is finally and a true war of wills happens. Only to end up either having the child alone or getting a divorce.

That is good. I just never understand why people jump into relationships and then get pissy when they come up against something like this.

If you bring it up and your lady says no I don't want kids , then you should leave her. Please don't assume she will change her mind. That is setting you up for divorce too.

Question. Does this mean All Christian marriages Must produce children?

Of course not. I don't want to have kids myself. Better still, I don't want to have a wife. But of course not! Where would you get that from?

So the Only reason you would have kids is to make sure your bloodline continues? Maybe that's it. This maybe why Some parents Crave grandchildren!

This is the 21st century, mistakes can be righted. Unplanned and unwanted Does not have to born.Unplanned yet wanted is a gift.

That's the only reason I can see---outside of the 'fun' of making them (that's both 'the conception-causing act' AND 'something else to take care of---like a pet, but with that pesky emotional aspect to satisfy). Of course, that's just talking about 'whether you plan for kids.' Many kids are unplanned---results of a night of 'being led by emotions,' followed by the decision to follow-through. But that's coupled with the body's need to KNOW that 'this mud-man world continuing forever is ME.'

The pursuit of happiness trumps retaining a un happy marriage. To have kids is a huge desire. If your partner doesn't want them, there will be no peace unless one of you changes your mind. Are you saying you would give up kids to remain married?

I say it does. The desire to be a parent is a life dream. If you are forced to give it up, how are you suppose to be Truly happy. and in time resentment will grow and you may remain married but you will not be as close.It is better And cleaner to just part. Let the partner that Wants kids to find someone who does. It works the opposite way. If you never wanted kids but you have them, you will soon resent them And your partner and you will withdraw. this is worse because this distance hurts the kids!

It is not everyone's desire. Yes, that is what I'm saying. Just because one of you doesn't want children and this revelation doesn't appear until after getting married is not a reason to get divorced. That doesn't even fall under "irreconcilable differences."

I don't look down on people who Want kids but I know it would be useless for us to date.He will want something I Will not give him. It is hopeless from the start.

That's wonderful. I hope you two have two healthy and happy children.

I call that a bait and switch. say one thing to get married and then " change" your mind is cruel and since there is such a thing as divorce it backfires.

I guess I am not human After all. My core does not change. no kids , no marriage is my mainstay. I feel so sorry for the guy who is waiting for me to change my mind!

some people do actually change their minds about having kids as they get older. I have a friend who alwaYS said that he never wanted kids and now that he is 35 is kind of thinking that maybe he does. Would he leave his wife if she did not want them? I doubt it but the possibily of change is always there and another thing to consider prior to marriage.

Believe it or not many would. The fight over having another baby would tear apart the relationship. It is sad but true. I'm glad you and hubby talked about it.

Bhai! This wasn't a post for you and Bahu. I Know it is a true love match, with or without children.

Thanks Bhai. Write me I miss you.

And here are your

And if she still refuses? Wouldn't you get the marriage annulled?

Aminul would you then divorce her or leave her if she didn't change her mind about kids?

My answer is 'No'. I love my wife. I will hold my patience and try to make her understand. I will wait for long time. Even, though if, she does not agree, then I would think about the issue. Thank you Sarah and Redredrose.

He is. the guy I asked called me useless. That made me wonder if he sees woman Only as bearers of children. I pity any woman in his life.

it is so sad that people have to be that way there are so many un wanted children in this world and far to many go into the system and are stuck there for the rest of there young life till they age out of the system

So true. My wish is that Every baby is wanted Or gets adopted.

So you are saying the Only reason you would meet is to marry and have children? wow! Ok Good Luck.

Man that means you don't or wont love the person and you only want them for the kids. This makes me think ayano that you only want the person for that they can give you. Sounds like using the person to me.

It doesn't sound strange at all. It sounds wise!

The last thing I want to do is hurt someone I love. That is why I told him upfront. lucky for me he agrees!

I wasn't made to be a wife and mother. I knew that early on. No babies I decided when i was about 7 and never to marry by age 13. So I bring it up early.That way if a man Wants a wife and children He Knows I'm not the One. he better move on.

My decision to not have kids Is final. If a guy Really Needs to haver kids , he is not for me. I'm the Wrong woman for him. We should part so we both can be happy.

But many a husband Has tried. Many a wife has tried. But What usually happens is they finally have the child and the one who Never wanted children grows distant. Or they simply divorce.

Wow! I do pity the women in his life. I think having a baby Must be a mutual decision or the one who wanted the baby will soon be a single parent, even if they remain together.