we should not gossip about our family members to other people

@hotsummer (13837)
Philippines
February 28, 2013 5:49pm CST
i just don't understand why we have to say bad things about our own family member with other people. although my mom tells something about me to my aunt, but i things that i have not done any thing that deserved treatment like she is giving. it is just normal for me to look for friends and etc. why she has to make it a big deal like i don't want to care for my father anymore. i do want to do help them but it is just crazy if you don't have no one to talk with and just be at home all the time not talking with any one except your mother and sister for the rest of your life. this is just normal. i hpoe my mom stops making me feel i am trying to desert my responsibility in caring for my father for those few times i just meet my friends and try to relax myself. being at home is like a full job, with no pay and it is hard like when i do get online that i have to see to it that i do it moderately only, all things like being monitored and she has like many things to say about me every time time.
9 responses
@Mavic123456 (21893)
• Thailand
1 Mar 13
so agree... but I have a question.. weren't you telling us something about your mom too? what is the difference between this and what your mom's doing? just asking not judging...
@Angelpink (4034)
• Philippines
1 Mar 13
Hi Mavic ! You are very observant ! He is venting things he felt at home , he felt safer here with us and that is admirable , means he trusted us !
@Mavic123456 (21893)
• Thailand
1 Mar 13
Angel it is still the same for me. He is a he.. ok... remember the golden rule? His mom trusted his Aunt... so is it admirable too? His Aunt is "not other people" we are "other people"
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
1 Mar 13
I think that your mom i just picking on you out of her frustrations. And I am sometimes guilty of the same thing, too. I do all the housework and wake up so early in the morning, and when my kids are all up, I just don't know which one I should tend to first coz of asking for my help on this and that. So maybe, your mom also feel frustrated on herself and disappointed on her situation or on your situation. But I also agree that you also need your own time. Just tell her to give you some time to breathe outside the house.
@hotsummer (13837)
• Philippines
1 Mar 13
yes i think she was disappointed that time.
@MoonGypsy (4606)
• United States
28 Feb 13
i am sorry to hear that so much responsibility is being put on you. pat yourself on the back, though. know that you are doing the best you can. there is nothing wrong with wanting to take a breather every now and then. i also understand about her talking to other family members about you. i hate that. why does her beef with you have to do with anyone else? then, there is a second side. your mother is probably under alot of stress, too. she probably feels like she has no one to talk to. maybe you could remember that about her and it won't make you feel as angry.
@hotsummer (13837)
• Philippines
1 Mar 13
my mom has responsibilities but most of them she just put it on herself and no one is telling her to do those responsibilities. she just likes cleaning , not because it is messy but she just cleans for no reason most of the time. as it is her habit. it is her joy and cleaning is not something that brings me happiness all the time. i do feel happy when i do clean but not the whole day though. comment
@jambi462 (4576)
• United States
1 Mar 13
Gossip alone is a waste of time and breath let alone gossiping about your own family. Unfortunately that is just how some people are, perhaps they've just been watching too many soap operas or something. My grandma has always been a person that will gossip to me about other people and it gets so boring. I hate having to be at work as well having one co-employee complain to me about another co-employee and then I go around the corner and hear another employee complaining about the one that just complained to me.
@Chico1793 (135)
• United States
1 Mar 13
Well gossiping oboist other people in general is bad either way. I understand how you feel. My parents are treating me the same way, but I see their frustrations every day and I try to help them as much as I can. When I get a chance too I take a load of their backs. Once we are back in problems, they pick at me bring me down at times but I sadly have gotten used to it. I see that it is out of frustration. I have gossiped about my family problems to only two of my friends and they had sorta similar problems as I. I never get a chance to say anything when my family argues so I only really talk to my friends about it. I am always left out but need to hear everything....
@boxer1 (37)
1 Mar 13
this is something i hate too. You should avoid these kinds of people. i do not like it at all. its just time wasting and nothing else.
@Raine38 (12250)
• United States
1 Mar 13
I agree, families should look out for each other and not be the first ones to attack one another especially if it is something that will embarrass the whole family. Maybe your mom is so stressed out that she just snaps at the slightest provocation. Maybe she also wants to go out with you but she can't. Why not the two of you bond together one of these days, just to relax and unwind. You both have responsibilities and I am sure that it has become so routine that nobody feels appreciated anymore. I am not saying I am on the side of your mom, but given the situation, I think you both are nearing to that stage where you're burned out by the daily responsibilities. It just become quite a chore that it is making her resent that you had fun and she did not. If everything's calmed down, why not try to ask her how she feels, maybe she wants to do something new for a change.
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
1 Mar 13
its really not good to gossip about anyone. Will or might get you into trouble. And most of the time its not worth it.
@Angelpink (4034)
• Philippines
1 Mar 13
Hello ! We can't choose whom to be our family but we can choose whom to be our neighbors and friends. The world will go upside down but at the end of the day , no one is there for us but our family . That is why we should not be washing dirt outside our fence , washed it with in our premise and that will be alright ! You will be misunderstood at first but still the love is there behind , relatives have no choice but to understand you later ! Unlike neighbors that even though the situation is understandable still they refused to understand. Some neighbors have hidden agenda inside their hearts because of envious . Mostly when you tell your problem inside they are happy seeing you in pain. That is why never to trust anyone because even relatives can't be trusted sometimes how much more with people not our bloodline.