Losing Childhood...

Loving I totally agree with you, children are not young long enough..I do however think that children need to learn responsibilities. But now a job..there are however life lessons that comes when children are young.. Childhood is a period of life that comes and goes before we know it..

I have no kids but i do have a 4 yr old nephew and 9 yr old niece. They do things by themselves such as pick up their toys dress themselves. My nephew doesn't pick out his clothes his parents do that but he can put them on by himself. My niece empties the dishwasher and helps set and clear the table for meals and clean her bedroom and playroom and put her clothes away after they are washed. This is all my 9 yr old niece does she doesn't do the laundry or wash the floor or anything like that. Oh yeah she feeds their dog as well. My niece's parents are teaching her to be independent and all but not giving her so many chores to do that she can't handle it or that an adult would do. She also gets an allowance every weeks and when she wants something they take her shopping and she buys it. Tho they do teach her how to shop and get things cheap or not to spend all her money.

.I freeze and decide not to do anything when pressured.My mom must have figured this out. I never had too much on my plate. She wanted me to study and do my best. And I did. I got to play after homework was done and All summer long. But it seems these days the kids Must have straight A's and Must do many chores! way too much pressure.

Some people shouldn't be parents. I have a friend who's oldest brother's two daughters practically had to raise themselves. He wasn't really there a lot, doing two jobs at one point and his wife, later ex-wife, was also doing long hours at work and NOT getting anyone to help with the kids. She told me that they survived on what they could find easy to eat and making stuff that was easy enough for a 6 & 4 year old child could make.

I am not disagreeing with your parenting style as I truly believe there's no right or wrong way to raise a child.. as long as they're loved, happy, and healthy. However, in my opinion and my own parenting style.. I do not see independence as a loss of childhood. I think the more responsibility and independence they learn, the better prepared they'll be for the real world. Of course the responsibilities and independence should be age appropriate.. I wouldn't expect a 5 year old to have to do everything on their own.. but if they're capable of doing something for themselves than they should. You won't always be there to do things for them and eventually they need to learn how to do these things for themselves, otherwise they'll be lost once they grow up and leave the nest.

I like your way of thinking. And I totally agree with you on this. But tell that to my evil ex. She thinks the kids should be doing everything. My son is 12 and my daughter is 8. I think they were robbed of their childhood already. I didn't grow up really until I was around 15 or 16. I enjoyed every single moment of my life as a child. Thats why when the kids are with me I don't pressure them. I let them be children. The way it should be.

Teaching our kids to be independent and responsible is our jobs as parents. That being said, it is a long process that is spread out over at least 18 yrs. I very much agree with you that childhood is important. It is VERY important in developing creativity and imagination and social skills, etc. On the opposite end of it, there are a ton of kids who are taught nothing and then they turn 18 and are expected to suddenly be mature and independent. Either extreme is just wrong for the kids.

Life is short. I agree that kids should enjoy their childhoods. But, I also feel that as kids grow older(10 or 11 now days) THey need to start having responsibilities. It needs to be a part of their lives. And I think they will be better people for it and thank us later on. That doesn't mean they have alot of responsibility but some and consequences if they aren't done. It's life and they need to learn it early on. And each child is an individual and that needs to be taken under consideration too. And independence comes with age and if kids aren't ready and haven't experienced some responsibility and know to some degree how to handle it they won't fare well. Believe me kids begin feeling they can handle it all very early. Their frontal lobes aren't fully developed during their teens and they do need to be reins in. It is up to parents to keep a line of communication open and have a good enough relationship with their children that their lives are a mystery to them. Responsibility and a home life is very important.

I agree they should be kids as long as possible. They will have plenty of time to be grown. I believe in letting children help out, but mainly to indulge their curiosity and need to mimic adults. I think their young lives should be about learning and growth and less about responsibility. All of that comes in time.

it really is all about balance and understanding your children, their abilities and needs and learning styles while it is clearly wrong to force a child's development, it is equally abusive to overindulge I know there are battles I should have won with my kids not for my benefit, but for theirs we parents are preparing our little ones for LIFE we need to give them all the tools and advantages we can, within the limits of their ability it is an awful lot harder to discipline yourself than to learn to take appropriate responsibility while young keep in mind I have said appropriate responsibility, and each parent must make that detemination for their own child, with knowledge and love

How young is young? Kids should enjoy childhood, but part of childhood is learning how to become an adult. It is the parent's responsibility to prepare a child for adulthood. Yes, this comes at it's own pace, and I question those who put large responsibilities on 6-year-olds, but around 8, 9, or 10 (depending on the child), small responsibilities are good to learn, and they grow with age. If we let our kids stay kids forever, they'd never learn how to think and care for themselves.

This is a bit of a conflict within me, actually. I too would like to make my children independent. I want them to learn responsibilities so I ask them to do a lot of things. But I also have an overwhelming sense of responsibility as a parent to help them out, and do a lot of things for them. Thus the conflict. In the end though, they end up with lots of 'play' time for themselves. Which I guess helps in not-losing their childhood.

I believe that in that, too! At a young age, we may start teaching our kids how to do small things that they should learn while growing up. But we should not make them do more than what their small body can handle. That is what I often tell my kids. The youngest is 8 years old. And I tell all 4 of them to try to help me in doing certain things in the house like sweeping the floor or fixing the dinner table. Never have I demanded from them to do the laundry, the ironing or cooking.

I had posted in the other discussion by someone too, but I shall post here. Since I wouldn't want to cloud up their topic with this conversation. I see no issues with children dressing themselves (I pick out my children's clothing though), buckling themselves into the car (as long as the parent checks to make sure they are buckled in and child locks on the door), cleaning up their rooms or the area they play in of any toys or even drink containers like those little juice hugs, and a few other smaller things. It isn't them growing up to fast or forcing independence but teaching them some independence when their young is helpful. Otherwise, they will grow up and expect their parents to do nearly everything for them. I know a 19 year old who still expects that all he needs to do is put laundry in a hamper and wipe off the table. His mother will do the rest. Her only reasoning for not teaching him anything was that she didn't want him to grow up too fast. My children are 4 and now 6 and they are still kids. They just have chores. They have their punishments like not going to the park if they didn't clean up their messes and more. They still have fun and behave like children. I still cook their dinners, do their laundry and every now and then I let them help me in the kitchen by drying the dishes. There is nothing wrong with any of that. Teaching independence to me starts young. Not to let the kids be so independent that the parents aren't needed or to the extreme of letting a young child cook but they should be taught it. If they aren't, I think they grow into spoiled adults like many of the college students and the like now. I can only look at them and think, what if their parents taught them more responsibility when they were younger? Maybe they wouldn't be the obviously spoiled brats they are now. That isn't true with everyone of course but many of them. I had chores and responsibility. By 7 years old, I had to wash dishes, by 8 do my own laundry, and by 9 or 10 I was cooking small meals like spaghetti or chili for the family. I don't think I turned out bad at all from it. Of course now I sometimes come across as - a very determined, strong-willed, educational elitist/possible sociopath who is as compassionate as I am cold and heartless. Still at least I feel more driven to do something about my life than some of my classmates. No way is really wrong unless the children are doing too much on their own. My kids aren't going to be allowed to cook anything until maybe 15 and no actually doing the dishes until 11. Everyone is different and thus they have different thoughts.

I guess it depends on the age and maturity of the child, some children grow up quickly and have wise heads on their shoulders at an early age, I think looking back I wasn't given enough responsibility, mind you I had a very poor role model in my father, he was totally useless in my upbringing and I learnt at a very young age to be independent and to make my own entertainment and learnt quickly that anything I wanted I had to get myself.

I agree and the people who wish they could go back to their childhood days are the one's who had a great childhood. Kids should enjoy their childhood, but unfortunately many do not and that's the sad part. I've heard horror stories and it makes me feel bad for them. I think independence should be started early.....like learning to play by themselves sometimes.

When kids are little they want to grow up fast they don't understand how nice benefits they have as kids. Everyone like that kids are responsibility, but not enough, because parents want to care about them too, example when they do something wrong. But, nowadays parents impact they children's too much like you mentioned in your discussion. They better should work with themselves not impact their children's.

kids are way older than they should be now..i agree there is nothing wrong with letting them be kids for awhile longer..they grow up soon enough..that's whats wrong with a lot of kids today.they are not allowed to be kids anymore,too much responsibility and there is nothing wrong with responsibility.but parents go way overboard with it now.they are expecting too much out of kids.

dont ever loose it as it is quite needed and order of the day too where you need to wisely spend time cautiously all the way and enjoy to the maximum extent

There is some truth in what you say. Children should be able to enjoy their childhood. But as a parent I also know that if you try to give responsibility to your children when they are already teenagers, it may not be so easy. A good balance is called for, as in all things in life.