I am dreadding seeing my daughter today

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I know that sounds really bad but as most know she has been placed out of the home due to her behavior and mental illness. Last night I got a call stating she had issues with a teacher and she did not handle it well. She had a huge outburst with the teacher then cut herself. I know we have to talk about it but this has been going on for 2 years now and that seems to be her thing when she gets mad. The good news is she didn't hit anyone or run away. There is another issue that will come up I am sure that is even harder to talk about. Easter is coming and my family all gets together and does a big Easter with the basket hunt and all. My oldest daughter and a few other family members do not want my daughter to come because of the issues we have had over the last 2 years and the drama she could cause while there. My middle daughter who is my child that wants everyone happy wants her to come and for everyone to get along. I am kind of stuck in the middle. If my oldest daughter takes a stand and states if her sister comes she and her family will not be there that means I can not spend the time with my grand children which I love doing. She has not stated that yet but she did at Christmas. Myself I can see my youngest daughter causing drama and wanting all the attention because that is what she does. I can also seeing her throwing a fit if she doesn't get it. I just don't know how to handle this one. Infact right now I wish my family didn't even do large events for holidays because it is becoming way too stressful for me. Now if I tell my daughter she can't come I can be sure she will do more self harm and acting out. I just really do not want that either. I know what she has done in the past has hurt us all. She seems to be worse around me because she knows I will always love her. I have always made a point of telling my daughters that as they grew up. It is kind of back firing on me now. Though I do love my daughter and I do feel bad that she is going through all this. I have just had too much stress over this and this is just one more thing I have to deal with. How would you handle this?