Setting aside differences

Good day, my strong-willed friend! Several years back, my husband and I had issues that both of us refused to be part of family gatherings. There was/were (couldn't recall) Christmas/es, New Year/s and birthday celebration/s that I did not come because I was avoiding my husband's families and relatives. I just didn't feel right talking to them so sweetly when I know behind my back they are telling so many things about me. I just needed to be away from them for quite sometime. And that of course was true with my husband when there were celebrations from my part of the family. He would not join me and my kids as well. My parents didn't even come inside our house for about 3 years. It is hard to just make a front for people to know that I am just fine. I just couldn't deal with them. I had to just keep the space between me and them.

I also feel uncomfortable being with people I had issues with... I actually have an officemate whom I considered is a friend of mine. We were once together hanging out in a group. I even became a godmother of her daughter... But there was this instance 4 months ago. It was a long and complicated story. We were both officers of our employees cooperative. She was trying to bring down my husband who is the manager of our group. She always brings issues which has no proofs or evidences. I did not come in between their issues because I know they both can solve it professionally, but somehow I felt bad. It was actually not the first time, and the first person whom she criticized, because the former manager was also criticized by her so it was not something new to the cooperative. But there was a time when even my own account was interfered by her. We got an approval from the Chairman of the Board for an exemption of amortization deduction due to some financial issues. And she brought this up because she was insisting for a Board Resolution. We showed her the approval from the Chairman, but still she insisted. The BOD even ignored her because they cannot question the approval. And everything was made through email. She did not even confronted me if she considers me as her friend. She can always come to me and ask rather than sending emails copied all the officers which can embarrass me. But I know I shouldn't be because I have an approval. I didn't make any move to talk to her because I really felt bad about what she did. Eventually, she resigned in her position. During our Christmas party, coincidentally we were just seat apart, though she is in a different table, but we were seated close because of the arrangement. I really felt awkward. But I just ignored her. Actually until now we don't speak to each other. Last night, after 4 months our paths meet, but I just looked at her eyes and walked past her. I can feel she feels awkward too because it seems she wanted to go back to her way. I felt like it's better to consider her as somebody I know just casually because it will not hurt me when she does things like that. Rather than consider her as a friend but is a traitor to me.

I will not and have not.I did have such a bad experience [which I cannot share ]with the closest person one can ever imagine.I cannot have plastic smiles on my face and make small talk when I am seething inside.Do not attend the function.Good for you.If they don't miss you you too don't.God is great ; we all came into this world alone and we are going to leave it alone.If you go there with un addressed issues they are just going to conveniently overlook that there were issues too and after that it would be setting a precedent.It will be a case of your having 'misinterpreted things' and now you have realised that the fault was on your side/ it was not too great an offense .

My friend...it depends on the level of embroilment, the level of my emotion, with said person! I delineate the two...just my way! If you are not a significant other (family, close friend, some-one I have emotions invested in) I can/will...and be the "master of disguise!" Significant people, I make every effort to not let the issue boil and errupt, as the more it is dwelled on..the more it is embellished...at least in my world! Take the bull by the horns, do what you have to do to right the wrong...and let the chips fall where they may! Just a footnote...I am off to the BIG SMOKE (my endearing term for the City--Victoria) @ 6:10 this a.m., home at 6:30 tonite.....SOOOO please know that I will not be responding 'til tomorrow a.m., as I get home at 6:30 tonite...Fires to be made...truck to be unloaded....Long, Long day!

I would attend a function with someone I needed to settle a score with, just for the fact that I could go up to that person and tell them we have something to talk about. Granted it wouldn't be at the function, I would make a date when we could meet and talk about it. I wouldn't do it at the function as I wouldn't want to ruin the event and would hope the person I have issues with would agree to meet after the function. If for some reason that person wants to make a scene or something like that I would go to the person holding the function and tell them I have to leave so as not to make anyone uncomfortable, and then I would leave. So then it's on the other person not me, I did my best to be cordial.

I stay away if I can. If there's no choice, I try to be as nice as I could. It so weird that you don't feel comfortable with some people at times. I need courage to face them.

If its a necessity to attend the said function I would do but if this is an act to settle of disputes, this is not a good idea since time will tell when will our heart be softened for whatever happened. I will try to avoid the person until I have reflected the situation or what happened to us.

I am also not comfortable dealing or being around with people I have issues with or have issue with me. I usually stay away from them if I believe that it wasn't really my fault and just let time heal the wounds. My mother in law and I had an issue before because of our differences and I chose to keep mum about it and kept distance for a while. Later on she come to me and apologized for what they said and did to me. But just recently repeated interfering in our married life and I was not able to hold my emotions anymore. Well, I believe that some people do change but there are some who just aren't willing to do so.

I wish I was strong enough to face someone that has a problem with me, but the truth be told I run like a scaredy cat, Lol. I am not very strong when others are angry or upset with me or if I am upset with them. I avoid confrontation like the plague! I would not go somewhere with anyone there that I was having a problem with...

I can relate in this post. I am working with a person that I don't really like ( well there's nothing wrong with it because the feeling is mutual) We had misunderstanding 2 years ago and until now our relationship as office mates is not that good. It is okey to me I never wish also to be okey with her since her attitude is intolerable. Despite of our situation I tried to set aside our misunderstanding for our job. I don't ever let her ruined my job so I chose to talked to her from time to time if needed for the accomplishment of my work.. But it's all about work..

If this people are my closest and dearest I don't mind the differences. I am always willing to help them no matter what had happend between us.But If I have differences with people not so close to me I will just let them be untill they want to talk things trough.

If I have issues with those around me, I would rather stay away from them until they are addressed because being near them would only make me more annoyed.