She gave me old lady colored clothes
By suspenseful
@suspenseful (40193)
Canada
March 6, 2013 8:24am CST
I have a friend who asked me what color I liked as she wanted to buy me some tops. I told her I love purple and turquoise , meaning the regular purple and I look good in true colors, not greyed colors, I did suggest something for her, but I had taken a course in what to wear, and she loved it as it was the right color for her complexion. And something that would look good.
But my friend has no idea what to buy in clothes for me. I got only one top that was turquoise and the other tops were all lilac. Now before my husband died, she went and suggested I get this black and white skirt and when our second son was married, one of her relatives was there with a black and white skirt and she was in her late 70s or early 80s so you can easily tell that my friend thinks you should dress according to your chronilogical age instead of how you look like, so she has no idea of how to make anyone look good. I look 50 but am 70, she thinks I have to dress like a 70 year old no matter how I look. So now I have those lilac and grey purple. It may look good on her, but not me. I cannot give them to Goodwill or something like that, so here I am stuck.
Do you get clothes from others that do not look good on you and you cannot return them to the shop?
2 people like this
21 responses
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
7 Mar 13
Yup I got a paysley blouse black adn white to me an old lady blouse I never wore it finally gave it to my son in laws mother now she is 6 years younger than me but she looked good in it as I didnt also it had darts and steching for someone with boobs and since I had mine cut off I sure couldnt wear it and this blose was from my daughter in law and if she pai d attention to the way I dress and colors I pick she wouldnt have got it I dont think or she was trying to make me feel older than what I feel
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
7 Mar 13
She thinks you have to look your age. I did get those blouses that had the elastic wasitband and as I lose weight, they either went in the trash or to charity. I do not like mixed colors or patterns it is not me. I do look good in black and white but it has to be the right pattern, but lilac is not my color and up here most who wear lilac are old ladies and look it.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
27 Mar 13
I feel really irritated and angry as I did not know anyone thought lilac or purple were just old lady colors as I have worn them since I was 20.Nobody has ever ac
used me of looking like an old lady and i am 86 b ut the colors of lilac and purple now I am talking blue lilac amd blue purple . Its wise not to throw that that old lady stuff around here too much as some of us here do have feelings, I am a senior citizen not some old hag here.,. .
used me of looking like an old lady and i am 86 b ut the colors of lilac and purple now I am talking blue lilac amd blue purple . Its wise not to throw that that old lady stuff around here too much as some of us here do have feelings, I am a senior citizen not some old hag here.,. .
@GardenGerty (160626)
• United States
6 Mar 13
Yes, I do, from my sister. She buys clothes, especially tops, without trying them on and they end up too small. Her complexion has olive undertones and she wears orange and gold and olive green and drab stuff like that. Fall colors. I look best in vibrant colors, like you do.Turquoise, or purple, or even hot pink or coral, a very pink orange. The best I could suggest is to wear a bright colored scarf with them, or jacket or sweater over your lilac and dusty purple tops. Now I look fantastic in black and white tops, but I try to keep most of my skirts plain and solid color. I almost never buy new stuff.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (160626)
• United States
7 Mar 13
I do buy off of clearance racks, and get good value that way. I think it is the cut of the clothes as well as the color that says "old".
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@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
8 Mar 13
Well if there were some young person wearing something lilac that would have made me feel better. I like to buy new unless it is a basic. Then I can buy clearance, but like to buy at the beginning of the season because well I might lose more weight.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
7 Mar 13
They do not exactly fit so if I were in church, they could see me and then either think I really am seventy or they would not look right. I do buy new clothes as have no sister and also it seems when I go to Value Village or Goodwill, they hardly have anything that looks good on me. Quite a lot of blondes up here. However when I do shop even though the clothes are new, I never pay the full price as I get discount coupons.
2 people like this
@peavey (16936)
• United States
6 Mar 13
No one buys me clothes and I don't buy others clothes just for this reason. Clothing is such a personal choice that it's hard to please others and then there are hurt feelings or embarrassment when the clothes don't suit the person.
I don't even like it when hand me downs are passed along "because it looked like something you'd wear." Most of the time, it isn't. I take it, keep it in my closet for awhile, then donate it to charity.
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
7 Mar 13
I would rather buy my own clothes although I would accept a gift card to a particular store, but I would rather shop on my own as she wants to influence the type of clothes I get and had too much of people wanting my skirt to reach to my calves, etc. i will give it away.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
7 Mar 13
I do not like the color. And I am not going to magically have my complexion and hair change so that I can wear lilac and grey purple. I mean I would have to put an orange type of makeup all over my arms and legs as well as my face, and then turn my hair a different color as well as put in different kind of colored lenses. It would be too much trouble.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
6 Mar 13
I almost never buy clothes for other people and for this very reason. It is so hard to know what someone else will like. I don't feel that age is a factor so much as you like certain colors and styles. We all do. I am guessing that this is a close friend?? I would suggest telling her that you appreciate them but that they just did not fit you comfortably and did not go with other things in your wardrobe. Ask her if you could possibly exchange them. I know if a friend asked me to do that, I would not in any way be offended. I would want her to because the whole point in me shopping for her would be for her to feel good wearing some new clothes. I would actually be hurt if my friend gave the clothes away or wore them only when I was around because she didn't feel comfortable enough with me to talk to me honestly. I think you should talk to your friend.
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
7 Mar 13
I do not want to make her feel bad, so since she is going to Australia, I will give them to a thrift store. I think she threw away the tags. If I see her before she leaves, I will tell her they do not fit. And that is the truth. She does not understand that with plus sizes, the waist is bigger and that medium is not my size. I do look slimmer but that is because I am good at choosing clothes that make me look good.
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
7 Mar 13
I have those bumps above my waist and I do not look firm. I prefer something semi-fitted, but not tight. Yes she does get rid of the tags. I suspect that she bought them for herself and that they did not fit her. They were not that expensive and there is a big box store that she goes all the time. Besides it was my birthday so I think she bought them for me. I do not like getting one of those shapers to put underneath as it gets quite hot here in the summer.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
7 Mar 13
I kind of do know what you mean by the size thing. I am a very small person but I am 56 and well, my weight has shifted. I no longer look good at all in those clinging and tight fitting tops. I prefer looser ones that look better and are more comfortable. While I might be small, a "size small" or even "medium" shirt will not always look right on me depending on the style. My youngest daughter bought me about 3 of them for Christmas a couple years ago and sure they fit but they show every little lump and bump. She laughed at me for being so self concious. I am a size 4/5. Doesn't matter...lumps and bumps do come in size "small"!! I do wear them but under other looser sweaters and tops. If I were you, I'd still talk to your friend before donating them to a thrift shop. She did after all, take the time and money to buy them for you. IF she got rid of the tags and IF there were no way to exchange then sure...donate them.
1 person likes this
@doroffee (4222)
• Hungary
6 Mar 13
I actually like greyed blues and purples, and I'm 23 :D. So, you're right, everyone should dress how they would like to dress (of course, within tasteful limits), not according to how the other people your age dress in your country. In my country, for example, elderly people don't give a damn about style, and they don't care about what they wear, as long as it's comfortable and cheap. I'm SO NOT going to be like them when I'm that age. I know that it's a bit hard to be stylish if you have a low pension/allowance, but it's not an excuse for me to wear stuff that are lousy, worn-out and which don't match in color at all. Also, I wouldn't wear really bright clothes and skin-showing outfits, because some people think all young people should wear those... gah.
Maybe you could use the clothes for DIY jobs... like cutting out parts of it, figures (like star, heart, arrow), and sew them on plainer but bolder colored clothes, for example. Or donate them to charity.
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
6 Mar 13
I lost a bit of weight so anything that is semi tight looks good on me, but I do not like to wear something that is the wrong color or something greyish as it does not suit my complexion. I do think that you should not dress drab when you get older. It sort of dates you.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
11 Mar 13
It was a birthday gift. I have had clothes given to me when I was poor, but I would rather have one or two good outfits and spend more on kitchen things. The thing is that she is more of a clothes horse. We went to the Mall once and she spent most of the time looking for clothes to buy for the trip to Australia whereas I just wanted to look at books. I am not a grey person, I do like a straight gray like black and white, but I do not like muted colors, yellow, orange, and brown because they make me look like a sick ghost. The same with lilac. It does not suit me and I look better in real colors, and red blue colors. Yet with lilac unlike grey, have you not noticed that most who wear it are old ladies? I think it is a stereotype such as when you get older, your hair gets shorter. And the blouse shows every bump of my area between my waist and my bosom. I lost weight, but that area is still bumpy.
1 person likes this
@whittby (3072)
• United States
6 Mar 13
I get clothes for Christmas from my husband although I keep telling him he really shouldn't. I bet he's hit it right once over the years. If it's the wrong size, I can take it back, otherwise I keep it and wear it on the weekend or something. I find I like brighter colors as I age. Maybe as we fade in color ourselves we enjoy the brighter clothes? I don't know about you, but I have a hard time finding clothes I like in the stores anymore. I don't want to dress like a teenager, but don't like conservative old looking stuff.
I agree it was a nice gesture. I guess you can't return them to the store? Will you wear them when she comes over? Or do you never wear them and she thinks what she will?
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@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
7 Mar 13
I will probably give them to Value Village. She bought them already and she is moving to Australia so she would not know. I usually wear my jeans and a sweater or a skirt and a sweater, but with these I would have to wear something like a camasoile underneath it. I have always liked bright colored clothes like real blue, real green, and have always had a fair complexion unless in the summer when I get a slight tan. I like conservative, but skirts just above my knees. I do shop at a plus sized store, but sometimes cannot find what I like as sometimes it is the wrong color that season.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
7 Mar 13
She's moving to Australia. So I am waiting for warmer weather so I can buy some extra blouses and tops and then give the ones she gave to Value Village. I could dye them, but it would not work as I do not have a big tub down in the basement.
1 person likes this
@gitfiddleplayer (10362)
• United States
6 Mar 13
That's a tough call, you know, you don't have to keep them, you can donate them...to the trash can. I've been given clothes that I wouldn't wear, they weren't my style, luckily my son liked one of the shirts so I gave it to him. Nobody was the wiser since it was never asked about again. It was a nice gesture by somebody but it didn't have to be recognized either way. Just toss them in the trash, its no big deal.
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
6 Mar 13
I remember when I first joined the church and I only got my pension and my husband had not joined the church yet, I got a few clothes, but at least the ones who did give them had some sense of style and they never gave anything that looked bad on me, but this friend has no sense of what looks good. She gives me clothes that would look good on her and really I am not a clothes horse as she is. I am perfectly satisfied with two skirts and two blouses or tops for each season and maybe a dress for summer and one for fall and winter. And I would rather buy them myself as I know what looks good on me.
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
26 Mar 13
Unfortunately, I think that this is something that happens to all of us from time to time. Now, I'm definitely not saying that we should always dress according to our age because there are a lot of times that dressing the way that other people our own age dress is something that will add a lot of years to the way that we look.
Most of the clothes that I got that were all wrong for me were things that my grandmother gave me when she was alive. I did keep those things and I wore them occasionally, but they weren't things that I would wear out in public very often.
1 person likes this
@kyle2krystel (2489)
• Japan
6 Mar 13
I do get some not good looking clothes too as present last Christmas and those are from my grama haha I didn't give them away since grama gave it to me my hubby said I look like super old with the clothes she gave me and I am 25. I do wear them only at home and that's it haha I will never wear them to go anywhere I kept them tho.
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@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
6 Mar 13
They are also a little tight and I need something under them. I would wear them in the house, and not going out. I do need clothes, but rather would buy them myself. She should have given me a gift certificate to my favorite clothing store.
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@natliegleb (5175)
• India
9 Mar 13
The colored clothes are reminiscent of the past with shiny and flashy colors of the olden age with sweet 80,enjoy it
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@Raine38 (12250)
• United States
6 Mar 13
Yeah. My mom in law and sis in law gave me some clothes. I am really touched and I appreciate the gesture but they are not my style. They are my size but its just not something that I would wear. The wrong cut of pants and the wrong style of blouses. They're decades older than I am so it fits them but not me. And I don't want to hurt their feelings so I cannot give it away or return it. I have to wear these at some point and I don't know what to do to make it see more like me.
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@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
6 Mar 13
She has no sense of what is right. She does not know how to cut my hair and I really have to insist that it not be too short. I do not like to hurt her feelings, but the blouses really do not fit. And they are the wrong color and shade. I also cannot give them away for the same reason you have. Luckily it is still winter out here, and she and her husband is moving to Australia, so I have a little time for her to forget that I have them and then I can give them away.
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@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
6 Mar 13
never had that happen to me, but it was thoughtful of her. I guess you are stuck with them now. have a great day there.
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
6 Mar 13
I have had that happen to me, but I will wait until I can donate them to Goodwill or Value Village. That would have to be when she and her husband moved to Australia. But for now I have to keep them.
1 person likes this
@anne25penn (3305)
• Philippines
7 Mar 13
I have brothers living overseas and they do bring me shirts when they come home. I have no problem with the colors, since they know that I don't like bright colored clothes. The only problem that I have with the shirts that they bring is that it is very masculine. I'm a girl and most of the time they don't bring tops for girls. And for this reason, most of the time I'm called "sir" or mistaken for as a guy at malls. I cannot even give them away because my brothers and I are tall.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
27 Mar 13
I sort of want to laugh as my favorite colors are lilac and purple but still I have rarely accepted clothes from someone who thought they knew what would look good on me as they did not really know me that well But to say purple and lilac are old lady things oh my goodness. I was in my fifties and still loved lilac and purple,.I have never dressed in what any one would call oild lady clothes at all. I
do not look my age either.
do not look my age either.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
7 Mar 13
i know what you mean. my friend gave me a bunch of clothes and said they look good on me and she seemed to think they were the right size but i think she either needed to get glasses or thought i liked really big hanging clothes on me. she was bigger at the time then me, i mean you know, heavier. but my mom always said never hurt anyones feelings by refusing what they give you so i didnt let her know i only wore them at home. 
its been a few years now and thankfully she dont remember them so i got rid of them eventually
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
7 Mar 13
There had been instances that I get clothes that doesn't look good on me. But unfortunately, I could not return them to the shop where it was bought coz most of the time, the one who gave it to me has already disposed the receipt. So what I would do is to give it to someone who will fit better.
@gavenkatesh (32)
• India
7 Mar 13
Whenever some is trying to present clothes for me I suggest them to accompany me at the shop, and once I have selected them they will pay for the clothes. But in the method that usually happens with you we will not have a choice as once clothes are bought for us we cannot refuse to accept them.
