Flirting with or coming on to strangers, somewhat acceptable or NOT acceptable?
By mommyboo
@mommyboo (13174)
United States
March 6, 2013 8:15pm CST
Recently some friends of mine and I were discussing this topic and I wanted to get some other thoughts. Where is the line where this is concerned? A little background - all of us are in our 30s or 40s, married, kids. Most of us have older kids, not just babies, so the KIDS are old enough to notice and recognize if someone is giving us too much or the wrong kind of attention.
Do you all agree it is wrong for young single men to approach women randomly and ask for phone numbers, sit down next to them at a restaurant or another public place with intent to try and pick up on her - IN FRONT OF HER CHILDREN? Is there a reason that people no longer pay attention to WEDDING RINGS?
One of my friends had an overly friendly and chatty guy try to pick up on her - and actually invite her for a beach weekend - while she was out for lunch with her kids. I had a guy ask for my phone number at a gas station, right in front of my daughter. Most of the time the behavior is so shocking that we can't even formulate a comeback.
The places this happens seem to be a little unacceptable also, in addition to them doing this in front of our kids, this happens at school, church, the gym, places we eat, the store, gas station... etc.
If you're a young single guy - is there some reason you think it's okay to prey on married women in front of their kids? Am I just an old fogey? I'm not thinking so.
4 people like this
16 responses
@cupkitties (7421)
• United States
7 Mar 13
From my experience some guys think that a woman has to be in the presence of a man at all times. If she's not she must be available. They don't bother looking for the ring. There was a time I waiting outside the mall for my husband (now ex) with our 1st baby and some boys who walked by began joking about which one of them was the father. They assumed that I was a single unwed mother just because a male wasn't hovering over me.
2 people like this
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
7 Mar 13
Do you mean 'old fogey' in that you have what is now considered old fashioned, by implying that having a ring actually is supposed to mean something?
Unfortunately.... yes.
Most men no longer care at all that you are married, and will be more than happy to violate your wedding vows if you let them.
And as to why? Because many girls let them. You and your friend may still be the majority, but that is not how it is portrayed in the media. You watch sleepless in Seattle, and the 'norm' portrayed is that you have no problem finding someone new, even if you are with someone already. It's even portrayed as 'romantic'. Same is true in TV shows, and books, and so on.
It shouldn't be surprising that men think this is normal, even if it's still revolting to those of us who know better.
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30183)
• Philippines
7 Mar 13
I had this experience when i was with a friend that was aalready married and at the time this guy was trying to pick up on her was she is 5 months pregnant. We were seated in a restaurant, and i think maybe her tummy wasn't showing the bulge and yeah i admit she is still sexy especially when her back is on yours. someone came from behind her and was like asking her if he can buy her another drink, or something. my friend just stood up and said you can buy my baby a milk when it comes out. The guy backed off. So i think it happens, maybe these guys do not notice the rings, or that they do look past the daughters or the kids you are with, maybe thinking you are already separated or widowed?! Silly men trying to still flirt with women who are already married.
1 person likes this
@machatago (385)
• Philippines
7 Mar 13
Well, that may seem unacceptable, they are eventually have two eyes and they can see that these women have children. And it is obvious that the kids they're with are their children. It's just up to the women to just wave them off and say to them they're married and are not interested. I'm sure the guys will back off once they know their place.
1 person likes this
@sjlskl (3382)
• Singapore
7 Mar 13
My personal opinion is this. It depends on the age of the kid. If they are young, it is not right to do it. The kids might not understand what is it all about. But if they are of a certain age, they might find it funny to see that moms being hit upon.
1 person likes this
@vidhyaprakash_2 (7116)
• India
7 Mar 13
This kind of flirting is quite common in this days. Lot of guys are interested in married girls and try their maximum to pick up them. Women must be very careful with this kind of guys. I am not interested in such kind of flirting activities.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
20 Mar 13
To be honest I wouldn't have the self confidence or self esteem to be able to chat to anyone, let alone flirt or be audacious enough as to ask for their phone number. I am very shy, and yes I am single guy, youngish, if you can call 41 young. I go to the gym but I don't want to be approached by anyone and certainly would never dream of speaking to anyone, I have my headphones on to protect me. There is a time and place for flirtations and there's also protocol that that married women are out of reach. It's sad to see that some think that wedding rings mean nothing and that the woman is still fair game to stray away from her marriage.
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
7 Mar 13
Is it OK for my mom's friend Jeannine, who is in her 80's, to flirt with younger married men?
OK, in her case it's cute, in the case of a predatory guy it just isn't. It's cute because she isn't serious, and this idiot probably is.
@elitess (5070)
• Ipswich, England
7 Mar 13
Hello mommy boo,
No that is not okay, ring or not, you don't go over to a mother with children having a nice meal together to try and pick on them.
If you really want to meat and get into a family (that is a parent with children with no other half) then an eating place is probably not the place to do it - just saying. Maybe this could happen at the workplace or a library, where the kids are not present from the start.
Anyway, I would surely not try this in front of the kids (or in church o.O).
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
7 Mar 13
Where do you live that this is happening. I didn't have a clue that this was happening in front of ones children. That is so tacky and disgusting. You would think a wedding band would deter men from approaching you. People at one time usually had respect for ones marriage but I believe like everything else in life that has gone to the dogs. No respect for anything not even a mom with her child trying to eat a meal. I don't see that type of behavior happening in Puerto Rico. I think here there is still some type of respect for ones marriage. I don't know how much longer that will last here; I will have to keep a look and a ear out. 
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
8 Mar 13
You know, on the one hand I do think that this is something that is completely inappropriate. However, I do have to admit that on the other hand I find a certain kind of flattery in it as well because it is something that does make me realize that I am still attractive despite the fact that I am married with children (older children) and I don't take as good of care of myself as I used to do before I was married.
That all said, you are absolutely right that even when someone does want to flirt a little bit with a woman, it shouldn't be something that is done in front of what is or what could be her children.
@asliah (11137)
• Philippines
6 Apr 13
for me its not good to give or exchanging mobile number in the front of our children because it will impost to them that kind of behavior that they can get,or even without the presence of the child,still not good to see in a married woman that thing.
@doroffee (4222)
• Hungary
7 Mar 13
I think flirting is only acceptable after you have a relationship, if it's innocent. Like complimenting the other, joking around, smiling. After it's about picking up girls and hitting on them while having a girlfriend or a wife is just disgusting. I mean, they should respect their spouses and the new woman as well not to play with their feelings... sometimes I wonder why the wedding vows and relationships don't mean anything to people...
@Sunflower_Michele54 (58)
• United States
20 Sep 17
Don't flirt with anyone who is with their children, with another man, or with other people. Especially children. You don't know them. Kids will wonder why some strange man or woman is flirting with their mom or dad. That can scare them, especially if they're little. They teach their children to be careful around strangers. Yet, strangers flirt with their parents and feel scared. Flirt with someone who is by herself/himself. It's more courteous that way.
@redredrose (1105)
• United States
7 Mar 13
Guys have tried to pick my mom up in front of me and my sister and sometimes now that i'm married they try and pick me up. Even when i say i'm married they want to go out with me. They say things like wheres your husband or why are you here alone like my hubby is not with me and needs to be. When i am out even with some girlfriends they think they can pick me up and when i say i'm married they say then why isn't hubby with you.I don'y need a man with me 24/7 even tho i'm married. Once a gut tried to pick my mo up who was in high school. He asked her would she go to the prom with him.Mu mom said i have a daughter about your age and he said yeah so will you still go with me. I don't know what it is about guys and why they feel the need to pick up women other than it might make them feel macho or something.
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
7 Mar 13
I think flirting is ok, as long as they dont touch. I think everyone has done it. I know I like to be flirted with, if they are nice to me.
