Being there for another.

I do agree with you on this. A lot of times I will just sit and listen to a person, nodding my head or saying something like yes or ok. This seems to keep them talking so they can work things through or at least feel a little better that they were able to talk about it.

Hi Pose: I think it really depends on the situation. You can offer your help and advice to someone who is asking you, but it's always the person who is having the problem, the one who has the choice over his own life. Even if we care we have to remember that is someone's else life. And as you mentioned, sometimes we have to just let go. ALVARO

It took me a long time to realize that I cannot make a decision for my mother to leave her husband, my father, and yet all I can do is be there for her, comfort her and listen to her, when I see the way that my father treats her, abuses her mentally, I feel so helpless, I wish I could make her life so much better, she deserves so much better and would be far better off living on her own, in comfort for the remainder of her years, I feel powerless, hopeless and yet all I can do is be there for her and to keep an eye on her. It was only through therapy that I learnt that the only person who can change things is my mum, no one else, we can only advise, listen and comfort, but we can't make her choices for her, sadly.

As we grow older we realize that there are many times we cannot help a person all we can do is be there with them. When my brother was sick with lung cancer, he knew there was no help, but still enjoyed his many friends that came just to remember the good times and just to let him know they cared. He only lived ninety days after he found out he was sick, but this time was made more pleasent when people came to visit. His wife was always alert to how he was doing and kept these visits from being to much. I learned a lot by being part of this situation.

I agree with you most definitely. Sometimes people do just need someone there to listen and to show they care. I know I am always the listener for other people in my offline life and it would be nice sometimes if every now and then someone would listen to me for a change and be there when I need it...

maybe its true. dont really know. If I am in trouble I will ask my good friends for advice and I know I am going to get that advice for sure. I just go through a hard time with my best friend, He will turn 80 soon and due to health problems he just was transferred to a Senior Citizens Home. I was shocked first as I thought maybe he resents that but his first letter from there sounds good and nice and contented. I will be there for him as long as I still have him as it were wonderful 27 years of friendship up to now and he is such a great role model for a pastor, a dad and of course a friend.

There are boundaries when it comes to meddling with other's problems. Some need help fixing them, and some just need a friend to hear them out. I used to know someone who told everyone her problems. You'd easily mistaken her for someone who needs help, but in reality, she just needs to be heard.

So true Pose. I don't want anyone butting in telling me what to do in any given situation, but I do appreciate having a sounding board. I like having someone show they care by just listening. I don't need to be fixed and it irritates when someone insists I need to be fixed.

I so agree! There are busybodies who want to help anyone in the world, and they think their ways are the best to help out others, but sometimes they are just annoying, and they can screw things up.