we are disagree again

Maybe it is time ot decide both of you how to make your son behave at home. Boaring school is not a training place as if he was a wild animal. You must set rules, make your husband help you so you have a united front and give him duties.

Well I agree with your husband on this one. I think anyone who puts their child in a boarding school is throwing them away. They rather someone else deal with them. That is my opinion. If you don't think he will grow up to be a good man learning from you then that is a problem you are having within yourself. He still has four years of high school and college to grow up. Throwing him into a boarding school is not always a good thing for the child. He will feel like he is not loved and you are giving up on him. Just my opinion on how I know I would feel if my parents had done this to me.

There is also a risk to this when you put him in boarding school. Remember that he is going to be away and that he might find someone who is a bad influence to him and actually do more harm than good. I think you should talk to your son, though and not decide on this on your own thinking only of what could be best for him. Not all we think is best can be the best option for our kids or loved ones. I think he might even think you are putting him there so you can rid of yourself of him and his being irresponsible at home. Maybe what you can do is to talk to your husband and during the free or vacation time, you and your husband can set up activities for him so that he will be able to perform some things that could teach him one step at a time how to be responsible. Give him tasks, give him a responsibility at home and so it should start from there as well.

after all for petty issues you are disagreeing with son and always give him his space so that he is able to learn and make amends for him along the way as he moves on

Gee, that is not throwing him away, that is teaching him to be independent. Because someday, he is bound to grow up and should learn to live on his own anyway.

how about agreeing for a trial? tell him that this will just for a trial period. If he will not change, or nothing will happen positive will happen to him there then he will go back to your house. and besides it is nice to "be together" again. like the first time before you had your son.

Just talk over the issue in a more diplomatic way. You don't need to argue over this matter. What you need to do is understand the advantages and disadvantages of allowing your son to live in a boarding house. Tell your husband in a nice way, your good reasons in deciding in favor of this. Tell him that your son is no longer a child so allowing him to go on his own might just work to his advantage because in most cases, an child such as your son when left on his own will change. With no one to depend on, chances are... he will become more responsible. It does not mean throwing your son away. Your hubby should not think so. He should understand that parent at some point in the life of a child, parents should let go to make the child more mature and independent-minded.

I feel the same way as your husband do.I have six children and one of them has adhd and severe anxiety problems. I was offered to put my son in boarding school and I said no, as it is not my sons fault for the way he is, neither is it mine and no school will be able to help him change or get rid of his problems, so whats the point in him feeling that we do not want him and cause this feeling to stick with him for life. I would really think what you may cause if you keep saying you want him to go to boarding so that he is not with you, as it sounds that your husband wants your son to be there and you do not want him there to your son.

I heard my sister mentioned about her colleague whose wife want to send his son to boarding school but he rejected. Reason being he had attended boarding school before and he do not like to environment. So, the best way is to see the pro and cons of the situation and what are the objectives and goals that you want to achieve in your son. Perhaps you can check around with others that have attended boarding school for opinions. Ask your son on his views too.

I had to live alone and far away my hometown when I move to Hanoi for my study in university. At that time, I was 17. I live alone till now. It was a bit hard when living far away from my family but it made me became adults and know to care myself. Currently I can live well and can make decision myself for my life. I could not imagine how I am now if I was still living with my parents....

You both has good intention, but why not ask your son about it.. he might have a good answer with your problem.. in the first place your son's opinion is the most important here since its about his schooling and future.. But if I were the mother I will not let my son go away from me, its actually the challenge of being the parents how to discipline the child without sending him away and let others do it.

Hi Ifa ! `Did you asked your son if he wanted to be in boarding school? It is his choice that can determine whether it can do good to him or not because if don't want to he might be lonely there and would only join some group that he thinks could alleviate him from his loneliness but if his decision to be in boarding school am sure he will be fine and will do good.

I think that above all you should include your son in all of this. Ask him what he has to say, he may be a child but his opinion on the matter is just as important. I think the three of you should sit down and each present what he or she thinks, that will make things a lot more clear for everyone. Your husband will know and understand where you are coming from.

Well you can ask your son, what will he chooses. To attend a boarding school at first it was not easy. But if it has gone through many things, indirectly, inevitably, someone would be used to pass through. The more difficult challenge you've passed, the better results you will get. I agree that it might be better for your son to be in it since it'll make him more mature, but still if your son chooses not to and going with your husband's choice, you should respect his decision too.

Discuss it well with your hubby and if that is both your decision then it will be a solid decision. Your son I think is old enough to handle the situation. We as parents want the best for our kids but sometimes mothers care is to pamper their kid so I guess if your son is just safe in a boarding house of your choice, he will just be safe. But if you think that the environment he is going to stay is not that safe, then both of you should think again and talk.

If your son wants to go to boarding school then let him decide. I think he's all grown up. And with that he can learn to be more responsible with this actions.

It is difficult when both parents are not on the same side of educating their children. Perhaps if you and your husband could visit the boarding school and talk with the instructors there. Also your son should be included in this. Has anyone asked him what he would like to do?

I think that will not be a very difficult issue,first of all you need to find some times to have a long discussion with your husband,then you should tell him that Kids need to grow up independently especially when you kids have already become a teenager,if you always keep you kids around you then they can not grow up fast and well. Good luck to you!

I understand this.. its good you are discussing it. I hope all works out well... and soon.

i had such issues with my husband,he also was so against our daughter going to boarding school.part of his reason was because he never did so himself so he sees it as punishment and subjecting the child to hard life but atleast he had no choice because in high school its better to be in a boarding school and now she is becoming more mature and responsible.