What Do You Say...?

Well I dont think have to really say that you know how they feel. But you can say other things. You can also make sure that they know that they can lean on your shoulder when they are feeling down. Be there for them. I understand what you are saying though, it is hard to say that. Sometimes when I know someone close to me is going through a rough time, the closest thing I might say to the statement you mentioned before is "I have a little idea of how you feel." But then sometimes they look at me as if they want me to say i know exactly how they feel. I cant know. I really cant. Everybody is different as well and (not talking about deaths now) there are certain situation where I might handle different from you. There might be situation that make you sad, that if I was in such situation would make me upset, or situations that makes you cry, that if I was in such situation I would have no feelings for. Sorry for being so bold but I believe everybody shows different emotions of different things. This is usually dependent on how you grew up, and the society to when you grew in. And other times it could be in your genes.

well that is a start but what if you say to them I am here if you ever want to talk you may not have the answer but just for some one to be able to talk about it often helps them to heal

I wrote an entire series on that subject. Even if you think you have experienced the same thing you haven't it is not good to say i know what you are going through because it upsets the grief stricken if they feel you haven't. You say things like I am so sorry, I am here for you, let me know if I can help you in anyway provided of course you are willing to help, if not, just leave your condolences.

Well, I know it's not the same, but I've lost a brother. If the person lost a child or a spouse, I might can relate to my own loss so the word "Sorry" would real. At least I know how it feels to lose someone we love. But for losing things, I have to say my "sorry" would just be a polite reply as I've never lost things before, not that I ask for it. And besides, it's a "thing" we can buy, so if we lose it, we can buy it again.

Usually I will say "I'm sorry to know that". I know I don't know exactly what they feel when they are in hard time that I have not experience before but I want them to know that they are not alone, someone is care for what they feel and have been through.

I just tell them, that I will be there for them. Not really much you can say to them.Take care there..

I always tell them that I have no idea the pain they are going through but that I'm here if they need a shoulder to lean or cry on. If I knew the person they are grieving for I share happy memories and tell them what a difference that person made in the world. I think that a grieving person needs an anchor more than anything, someone to be there and assure them that life will go on--their life specifically. When you lose someone it seems as if the whole world should stop and for you, it does. You are in a weighty darkness you have to fight your way out of and it helps when people are there but not intrusive.

I have to say that I hate those kind of situations it is very sad and I never know what else to say except sorry for your loss it is a tough one. I agree,

There isn't much that can be said. Someone who is grieving will hear the same thing over and over again, like "I'm sorry for your loss". I've had a loss, and have known many who've experienced loss. Sometimes the best thing to say is that you care, and let them know you are there for them. The worst thing you can do is distance yourself because you don't know what to say. Those who grieve need a good support system to help get through this difficult time.

It's rather difficult to tell how you feel about his/her loss of a love one. And i feel awkward myself. So usually, I just give positive comments like, "he is now in a better place. Let us just pray for his soul" or "he may be physical absent but his spirit remains with us". I don't know if that helps at all, but I sure am sorry for the pain one is suffering from.

There is a lot I did experience so it's hard to say how I would respond. But for sure I would never say that he/she will get over it soon, also I would never say I know how they feel. I would even not say that if I had a similair kind of experience. Fact is we all are different and we all respond different on it as well. Also I don't agree that time will heal wounds. It's more about giving it a place, accepting it, knowing it will Always be a part of you and hoping there will come some benefit (life experience) out of it. Besides this I think the best thing one can do is frequently not talking at all, no advices. Just being the listener and let that person know if that is possible for you to do so, that if he/she needs someone you will try to be there. No matter if it's now or in 1 or 2 years time.

That is tough. But I know what you mean, I don't want to give false hopes to the person that I understand what she's going through when in fact I really don't. I usually just say I'm sorry that she's going through all that, and if ever she needs someone to talk to, I am just there for her. I will also admit that I may not fully relate to whatever she is going through but I do know that if she needs someone to listen to her, I am free.