never keep promises

I have a friend who always promises, but does not keep his promises.

@ET28LV (1890)

Latvia

March 11, 2013 1:11pm CST

Hello all, I am here again in hard situation. I really don't want to sound like a ideal person and I didn't wanted to complain, but I after today I get upset. Yes like I said in my discussion topic I have a friend who always promises to do things, but never keep his word. Example, we had a event last Friday where we have guests in our city and we was appointed to care for our guests. He was a primary to work with this guests and I was a second hand to him. In evening he went to capital city and he appointed me now for primary to care for our guests so I care for them all night. Now today our teacher said that we need to make report for our event, but I wasn't with guests at morning so I didn't know what to wrote. My friend promised me that he will make report for morning when he take tours to guests. And our teacher said that we need to make report together and sent it by 20:00 PM. But, like I excepted he didn't sent this report part to me so I didn't sent the report for teacher. And this happen every time in different situations. My friend never keep promises. What can I do, because he always excuse that he didn't have time. Please help me with your ideas and tips what could help in my situation.

3 people like this

29 responses

@jenny1015 (13366)

• Philippines

12 Mar 13

That being said and done countless of times, then I suggest that you should never again rely on what he says. Just do what you think you can do without asking any help from him.

1 person likes this

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@ET28LV (1890)

• Latvia

15 Mar 13

I could manage it alone too, but this project was for both of us, because he participated in previous years too. I will not depend to people like he anymore it is too much for me. Yeah I did what I needed and the situation still become well for me anyway.

@ET28LV (1890)

• Latvia

14 Mar 13

Yes it have happened plenty of times and none in all he have kept his promises. I better will work alone in future projects and ask minimal things what maybe he can done.

@jenny1015 (13366)

• Philippines

15 Mar 13

If you think you an manage without his help, then good. Just don't become dependent on such kind of people. If something bad happens, at least you know you did what you had to do. And if it was something good, then all the credit goes to you.

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himanshukumarasthana

@himanshukumarasthana (58)

• India

11 Mar 13

really, some people don't have any worth of their own words. I have a friend too, with the same problem. every time he say something he just turn after it. the best way to give some sense on the head of people like this is to do same with them, make them trouble with it and the they realize what they doing is wrong.

1 person likes this

@ET28LV (1890)

• Latvia

14 Mar 13

Hmm I don't think that this could work for me, because my friend deny it. He always excuse that he hadn't have time, he wasn't in home etc. So if I would make promise to him and just ignore it I think he would be angry and would blame me for long time. Because, he can break promise other can't.

@ET28LV (1890)

• Latvia

15 Mar 13

This sounds hard, but probably that can work for him. It's very hard to explain things when actually he keep excuse everything.

himanshukumarasthana

@himanshukumarasthana (58)

• India

15 Mar 13

well thats why we do so to make them angry and once they are just tell them softly why you do so explain them every thing. and also if u have one or two more friends with u is even better and help you to make him understand.(well I know username is long so you can call me HA)

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@celticeagle (166911)

• Boise, Idaho

12 Mar 13

I would never depend on him. It is sad but he really needs to pay the penalty for this. Not trusting your friend is pretty sad actually. I wouldn't get myself into a situation again where I had to depend on him. Especially when you know you can't trust him.

1 person likes this

pay the penalty

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@celticeagle (166911)

• Boise, Idaho

15 Mar 13

That is a shame but be glad you know now and not after longer with him.

@ET28LV (1890)

• Latvia

14 Mar 13

Yes in future I will not depend to him anymore, because this is too much. I know that he will not do what he needed, but I still hoped that he will just try to do what he needed.

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@mariaperalta (19073)

• Mexico

11 Mar 13

Just like man, they all promise and never deliver. Only excuse after excuse. Shame on them. Dont we love them.......

1 person likes this

@ET28LV (1890)

• Latvia

14 Mar 13

Ah you make feel me bad too, because I am a man too. But, not all mans are same. There are good mans too which done all what have promised.

@mariaperalta (19073)

• Mexico

14 Mar 13

I know all are not the same, but one bad man gives bad name to 5 others. Thats what we say in good old Mexico.....

@TLilly12 (1229)

• United States

15 Mar 13

The saying Goes, if you want something done right, do it yourself, it's bad you had to depend on a liar, like this person he is not a friend, a true friend wouldn't have let you down like this, and lied to cover it up, he just didn't want to do it that is the whole truth, this person is not depenable for anything.

1 person likes this

i have a friend who always promises

@ET28LV (1890)

• Latvia

15 Mar 13

Yeah the situation what I had still show that depending to others is not the best way. Yeah I too think that he just didn't want to do report so he lied and didn't want to say truth. Real friend would do what he promised.

@borgieboy7 (72)

• Philippines

11 Mar 13

If I'm in your situation, I would not trust anyone who keeps on promising. I'd rather like a person who doesn't say anything but always at your side no matter what the happening is. If in the case that the person is required for his participation, don't him/her a role that is very important for the group or event. You will likely be disappointed if that person promise anything.

1 person likes this

• Philippines

12 Mar 13

promises are made to be broken sometimes we committed some promise but in the end we broke that promise as a proof not all promise are fullfill

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@ET28LV (1890)

• Latvia

14 Mar 13

borgieboy7 Now I will be more careful when someone will make promise. I am sure that everyone better like persons who don't promise, but do and helps people always independent from life situations. I will not work with this guy together in so very important things anymore. So he can promise what he want.

Patnopy In my opinion promises is something holy and blessed. People just can't promise and broke it, but people are doing it. I always try do done what I have promised to others, because for me it is very important.

@derek_a (10874)

•

12 Mar 13

Yes, I have had several friends like this over the years and I think it is such a shame. What happens with me is that I tend to ignore what they say in the end as I don't know where I stand with them, and eventually see less and less of them and lose touch completely. You could try telling your friend that you find that you can't trust his promises and then if he doesn't respond I guess it is up to you whether or not you feel it is worth keeping contact with him. Personally, I feel that friendships don't last very long when promises cannot be relied upon. Good luck with this.

_Derek

1 person likes this

@ET28LV (1890)

• Latvia

14 Mar 13

Welcome to my club Derek yes it is a bit shame too. I am sure that ignoring friend like he is not the best way, but I am tired to listen all promises what he have made for years. Hmm I will just say him stop promise me what you can't do. And I will make just friend relationships nothing more. Friend are friends they are coming and going.

@MoonGypsy (4606)

• United States

12 Mar 13

the best way i can help you with this situation is to tell you not to expect things from people. when you don't expect things from people, you won't get disappointed.

1 person likes this

@ET28LV (1890)

• Latvia

14 Mar 13

Yeah this is true also. Why make my life harder for believing promises what never will come true. Thank you!

@bellis716 (4799)

• United States

13 Mar 13

Find a new friend to partner with.

1 person likes this

@ET28LV (1890)

• Latvia

14 Mar 13

Yes I will try to find a new partner for further projects like this.

@dorannmwin (36392)

• United States

13 Mar 13

You are not at all alone in having a friend that makes promises that they don't keep. You see, my best friend is this kind of person in a way as well. Last year I loaned her a good amount of money and she promised that she would get a job and start paying me back when she got home. Well, she's been home for five months now and she hasn't gotten a job yet and I've not seen a single dime from her. The big change that has happened because of this is that I won't loan anything to her any more.

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@ET28LV (1890)

• Latvia

14 Mar 13

Ah Doran you too are welcomed to my club. Sad to hear about your experience as well. I know that my family have been in the same situation like you when they give money to people to help them, but they didn't give it back. I hope that things will go well soon with your friend and her will pay back you soon. And now we will learn from or mistakes.

@Austee (131)

•

13 Mar 13

Maybe you should not depend on her. But as a friend, why not try to change her bad attitude? We are not perfect and we are all human. Maybe there is a reason why she is like that. But if she cannot change, it would be hard to be a friend. Because trust just fly away.

1 person likes this

@ET28LV (1890)

• Latvia

14 Mar 13

To him.

Yes I will better work alone in further projects than depend to others. Yes we are not perfect and we all are only humans, but he deny that he have problems for keeping promises. Anyway I will try to talk with him.

@jkct02 (2874)

• Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia

14 Mar 13

Don't be in a team with that friend anymore. Irresponsible people with such bad habits should not be endured. We should never be near or close with people like that. If you want to finish your report, you just have to ask him what happened in the morning, and then you try to finish the report by yourself. You know that there will not be another time again with that guy.

1 person likes this

@ET28LV (1890)

• Latvia

14 Mar 13

I will avoid to be together with him in further projects. There are a lot of things what we shouldn't be near. But, life is life and things like this happens. I asked him about morning and he just angry replayed did you didn't know that we was there and there, but I needed to know what you do there to. And why I should do extra work for everyone who just make promises?

@doroffee (4222)

• Hungary

12 Mar 13

I would sit down with him to talk about it that he should stop this behaviour, because it's not fair to you. You should tell him to manage his time better, or to stop promising things he doesn't even have in mind to keep.

1 person likes this

@ET28LV (1890)

• Latvia

14 Mar 13

Like I mentioned before I will sit with him down and talk about this. I am not sure does it will help to change the things, but I at least will try. You know people like he don't changes.

@catchpazuzu (99)

• Portugal

12 Mar 13

Don't expect too much from people, not even from your friends. Don't hope too high. My advice is: CHANGE FRIENDS. You either talk to him the good way, or you just start ignoring him and get new and better friends whom you can actually trust.

1 person likes this

@ET28LV (1890)

• Latvia

14 Mar 13

Yeah I am a person who learn from mistakes and now I know that you can't trust none except you and your family. Friends are coming and going so my friend will be my friend till we will have everyday contact.

@machatago (385)

• Philippines

12 Mar 13

Just confront your friend about the problem. If he really is a friend, he would understand. As a friend to him, it is your right to tell him his mistakes so that he won't make that same mistake again. But if he doesn't listen well, just do things on your own to those people who can be trusted with promises.

1 person likes this

@ET28LV (1890)

• Latvia

14 Mar 13

Hmm it is very important to discuss about situation what we have now. He is my friend, but this is his habit and he make this mistake a lot of times before. I just better will work alone so there will not be surprises and problems anymore.

@Renhard (3471)

• Jamaica

11 Mar 13

Well I am independent and I dont like depending on anyone. I have been in the situation where someone constantly promise me something, and it can never be done. Always, the promise gets broken. What do I do, tell her to not promise me anything again because I do not want to get my hopes up then get disappointed again. It doesn't make sense. The solution to the problem is simple. Do not depend on that friend. If he promises you something, just ignore it and behave as a lone wolf. Try to accomplish things on your own or if that is too much for you then go ask someone else that you can trust for help. Well that is my though on the situation. I hope you find someone better that you can trust.

1 person likes this

@ET28LV (1890)

• Latvia

14 Mar 13

Yeah the best what can do is depend only to yourself and be like lone wolf. I too hate when people promise and never done what they have promise. I will say him to stop promise me something in next time when he will promise me something, because it don't make sense like you said. Thank you for your advices!

@velocity_186 (879)

• India

12 Mar 13

That's really sad that your friend is acting up like this. Sometimes people make a commitment and cannot make up to the mark but a soon as this becomes their habit they tend to even forget that they are making fake promises, promises they cannot stand on. You need to be a responsible friend and make him/her understand that he has gained a bad habit of making and then breaking promises that's not going to be real bad in all his/her relations.

1 person likes this

@ET28LV (1890)

• Latvia

14 Mar 13

Yeah it is very sad.

It is so true. It is his habit and I think that he even forgot how much promises he have make before. I will try to talk with him and explain how important promises are. That he can't just say it, that he need to keep promises. But, I am not sure about results what I will get back.

@sriroshan (2585)

• India

12 Mar 13

Such people are many and what I want to ask you that when you are knowing the habit of your friend then why you have asked to do such an important work?

1 person likes this

@ET28LV (1890)

• Latvia

14 Mar 13

Yeah there are a lot of people like he which don't keep the promises. I didn't have chance to don't work with him. Because, this project is happening many years now and I am part of it. And this way we need to work together other times it will be different.

@mrswhitfield (2044)

• Indonesia

12 Mar 13

I have that kind of friend too. She just can't keep her promises. I hate to face the situation when we have arranged something and she can't make it on the big day. I'm not say that I am perfect person who always keep the promise but atleast I will make sure that others will know if I can not make the promises.

1 person likes this

@ET28LV (1890)

• Latvia

14 Mar 13

You are welcomed to my club. Ah I too hate that and when you need to present work for others you understand the reality. I know what I can do and I promise only what I can do.

@cherigucchi (14876)

• Philippines

12 Mar 13

If he does this to you most of the time, you should learn a lesson here, dear. It seems that you are being abused because you allow it to happen. You have to make a stand for yourself and may be you can talk to him about this thing that annoys you so much. If two of you are real friends, then there is no doubt that he will be open for this kind of discussion. You try talk to him about this matter or you will end up repeating the cycle. Sometimes it is also our responsibility to take care of ourselves that we should not allow people to use and abuse us even if they are our friends or family.

1 person likes this

broken promises

@ET28LV (1890)

• Latvia

14 Mar 13

I know that I needed to learn it earlier, but he is my friend. For what I am sure that I will not make the same mistake again. I will stand for myself now and I have talked with him too, but he only keeps saying excuses. I will try to make changes about this important thing.