have you talked behind a friend's back?

In the first place, I hope that you do not expect your colleagues to be your real friends before they have proven their worth. This incident in your office just prove this point, we should never take for granted and have expectations from the people we helped, including our colleagues. I don't know what exactly happened to you but don't react to what you hear. There will be people who will just spread lies to create dissent and disruptions within the ranks or departments. You need to be alert and thorough to recognize the game here. In the meantime, don't stop doing what you like and enjoy doing, in other words being what you are. At the same time, recognize and know when to say stop and let go, because no matter how slow or unskilled your colleagues need to do it on their own to earn their place in the office. Besides, you need to have your own space time to prove your efficiency otherwise your boss will be asking the question why you are ever so bogged with work. Remember no one can be a true friend until they've gone through a baptism of fire together with you.

I would never be friends with anyone i found out was talking about me behind my back. Also anyone that talked about me behind my back is not a true friend because a true friend wouldn't do that. I'm sorry they did it and hope you find new and better friends than they were cause they weren't really friend since friends don't do that to you. Just do your work and the best job at work you can do and don't talk to them or hang with them anymore. You are better than that and don't need them.

I never talked behind my friend's back. It does not matter what they do or what they think abut me but I willl never talked behind their back. I just don't like something like that. Once 2 of my best friends provoke by another friend that one of them talked behind other's back. I cover them after I found the truth about the provoke, after that both of my friend are best friend again. If there is something I dont like I will tell direct to my friend, will never let them know it from other's mouth.

I have never talked about any one behind their back it is disrespectfil

Its so sad that people pay good deeds with bad but its the kind of world we live in. Continue with that which pleases your mind and which is morally acceptable. Do not please others to displease yourself.

This thing happens often.But you should have correct attitude and adjust yourself.Some people who talk behind your back are just jealous,they envy you.They lost a good friend, not you lost.So face them and deal with this thing bravely.You can make them shut up.If they don't,they are destined to be hypocrites.Believe Yourself!

No. As much as possible don't talk about others lives because I hate them talking back behind me. Just being follow the golden rule. 'Don't do to others what you don't want them do to you.' and at the same time thet know me well. I am a reserve person and silent type. I will talk if I need too. And sometimes I go with them to have a siesta time as woman.. :)

There really is not use in keeping fake friends. Probably they are just sourgraping coz they know that you really know what you are doing and that the work that you do is something that the management would surely credit.

I was in the same dilemma before,i thought they were my good co-workers,but it turned that they speak a lot of evil behind me,actually i treated them very nice. same as you,i step far away from then ,and i left that company at the end.I dislike that kind of working enviroment.

They've lost a good friend in you. I hope they realized that. Sometimes being too nice, friendly and supportive to friends can make them abuse you. It's a good thing that you've finally realized what they're doing behind your back. Now you be careful selecting real friends. At work, it is really hard to distinguished real friends from just colleagues who don't care.

ay! those are the works of envious people and they are not a good company to be with. they do not know how to appreciate someone's perseverance and hard works. what is good to do is that be friend with them still but do not get close with them anymore. just do not mingle with them affectionately. the best thing to do is to act like a casual friends and not so closely. these kind of people are just good in your front and made you the center of the topic when you turn your back from them. not good! you work hard for the group and even protect them or cover but they do not know how to appreciate. so, be careful whom to choose as your friend ")

Sorry to hear that, but that is nothing new. Whether you do good or bad, people will always have something toad yay about you. Either out of envy or jealousy or plain entertainment, they will never cease talking about you, if not them, other people. Why? It's just how it is, wherever you go, there will always be people who will judge you first then get to know you later. If you a going to kowtow to them and whatever it is that they will say, they wouldn't be happy anyway. They will still find something to say about you. Anyway, you don't deserve those people. It's good that you learned what they do behind your back. I'm sure that they will soon realize that their doings will never do them any good. Let them and their envy eat them up.

Well, you just did the right thing. I guess I can relate with your story. I have this friend of mine as well as she is my office mate and our friendship was being affected due to our work. Sometimes, even in working hour, she do something else like surfing the net, that is not work related and it annoys me and she is doing it while we have a huge work load. Of course with my part, it is unfair and so I really show her that I feel annoyed.

For me they're not true friend at all........ sometimes in our lives we've chosen wrong friends...... just move on.....it's a good thing you chose to stay away from them.....

I have a kind of friend like that too, I had fight for him, cover him but what he did was telling about my bad to other friends so that is it... I am quit to fight for him anymore

That is so sad, I think they don't realize that you were just helping them all along and talking behind your back is really hurtful. I'm glad you did confront them, at least they will be thinking now that they hurt your feelings. I hate it when that happens since I've also been in that situation before. And like you I just stayed away from them. In the end they will see their mistakes.

I don't think anybody will say "NO" to this and if they say so then they are lying. Sometime but not always we all tend to talk either good or bad about the friend behind them. It is but natural and it is human tendency to criticize someone behind them.

Hi ! Not to be hypocrite but i guess everyone does ! I have talked but just a small thing only , not like that you are already destroying the name and integrity of a person. I have never done that also , mine is but a girl thing , comments and feedbacks i gave but appear like talking at back because person involved not with us. Just a little piece of advise , i guess no person is worth trusting ! All have betraying nature . I have experienced it , some are just good in our front because they are getting something but if none there getting then you're not that good, So better be alone and work and work.

hey there cherigucchi, it really happens many times to all of us. but what your doing is not good, here is an idea, you keep doing the things you did earlier. let them know that you are the good out of the group good guy. make them feel bad for the thing they did it to you, make them come to you to say sorry.let them know that you know the talk going on around you, but still you do not sezie to help them out. be the team leader now. what do you say?

I know how you feel. Been in that situation. And I have to say its really not a good feeling. I guess there is always people like that who just wants to bring you down. Just dont mind them and do what is right. If they are really true friends they wont talk behind your back. They are not worthit to keep.