Do You Feel Overwhelmed?

It took me a long time to say no, Stout. My pastor and his wife used to ask a lot of me when I lived next door to them. I didn't mind because they were like my own children. But there was this time the pastor's wife asked me to go out of my way to pick up a certain member of the church when she was going to be in her town that afternoon anyway. I told her that I'm sorry, but I can't do it. She got all huffy and tried to guilt me into it. I told her NO! Well, she got mad at me and wouldn't talk to me. I quit going to their church for awhile. Then one day she calls like nothing had ever been wrong and asked if I would watch her kids so she could go on a dinner date with the pastor. I did it and nothing else was ever said.

After this weekend, (I had 15 kids here that I was watching) I probably should have told my sister that I could not help her with wedding stuff but I didn't. I got no sleep for a couple days, I was exhausted and now I am sick. I know I got sick because of lack of sleep. =( But my sister's wedding is in 9 days so I am trying to help her since she is so overwhelmed too.

I think everyone feels overwhelmed at times. I do it to myself by planning too much or deciding to do this or that without thinking of how much time and effort it will take to get it done. I don't have problems in telling others no as much as I have problems telling myself no!

That does work. There are only one of us and sometimes we do not have the time, so in that case, no would work.

That is so true. No can go a long way toward sanity....I had a time when I was involved with so many activities that I sat down and cried one day, Then I made a list of what I needed to get done...and when I finished that list I quit a few organizations that I had become involved in.

I also can't say no very easily. Sometimes even though it's already too much, I am even the one hesitating. I know I can only do and help so much as my capacity can allow. But sometimes either people around me are too self-centered to notice I also have my own troubles or they know I am bad in saying no that they take advantage of it.

i wish it were that easy, but everything in life always seems so mandatory. like there is a million things that you HAVE TO get done OR ELSE! that's what i wish i could get a break from.

I manage to get overwhelmed sometimes just with the stuff relating to day to day living, let alone stuff anyone else asks me to do!

My sisters in law have always relied on me especially when dealing with their children's schoolwork. Well, I am always glad to help as long as I do have the time to spare. But sometimes, it gets to a point that their dependence on me is getting into my nerves. They would bribe me just so i would make reviewers for their kids' upcoming exams. I mean, I'd gladly do it but I have to prioritize my kids, right? What could be more annoying is having to rush me to do their kid's book report to be submitted the following day by calling me at 10pm when I already have my hands full in helping my 3 other kids. I hate to disappoint people but what can I do?

Hi, You are right. we should not be overwhelmed by obligations. Sometimes someone asks us to help but it is beyond our limit. So we should deny him with polite and soft manner. Because it is not possible. Everyone has his own opinions and he has the right to express them.

Hi friend, we must help others as much as we can, but it is really hard to help all the times, some times we don't have the ability to help others based on various reasons, at that time we can tell some other solution to them to solve their issues instead of saying no. I am not interested in saying no to the person whoever require my help, i will help them as my best, if i don't have ability to help them, i will guide them in a good way to solve their problem

I am not going to let myself, get over worked by doing, everything for everybody else. and not take care of my self, yes I will tell them No!!!, and I don't how they take it either, they can think I am being mean, and don't want to help them, but I have a life of my own, and I am going to look out for myself.

One of my best friends always ask me do not push myself too hard but i still can not make it, i know i am kind of a perfectionist and i have a high demand for myself, which makes me feel overwhelmed and i do know i need to relax myself a little bit and am trying. Anyway, feeling overwhelmed at all times does no good to anyone as well as other people around us.

It is just depend on the situation when you have to say No to that person in a nice way. I am not that kind of person who always say no but if i should then i'll do it. As what you said if their is someone who need a help we can lend a hand but not at all times. Some of my friend can't say no and that they've always had a problem regarding on helping others because some of them also had the same problem like emotional and money problems and more. It is always better to balance everything.

I have a friend who was constantly asking me for help, sometimes to the point where I didn't get any of my own stuff done. But I've been saying "No" a lot more, and it is liberating. She's gone on vacation a few times, and it was like a vacation for me, too, to not have her constantly asking me to do stuff for her.

I am doing so much to raise funds for my GF who has cancer and I am feeling a bit resentful that no one else is really helping me I get so tired every weekend by baling and then selling the good after Church. But what has really overwhelmed me is my credit card debt that is at a new high and I don't know how to pay it. This makes me feel sick. because of illness I do not have a full time job only a part time job and so my earning power has decreased quite dramatically. This is what overwhelms me

I totally agree with you Jodee. When someone asks for our help , and we feel that we can't anymore, we have to be honest and tell them so. We don't have to give them hope that in one way or another you will after all.

I am the kind of person that is really like that. I cant seem to say no to people who needs help. I mean, even though its too much I will still do it. I babysit before, and the baby's grandma wants me to do something which is really not part of my job, I wanted to say no but I did it anyway. I guess thats why the grandma is kinda treating me like nobody. And I feel so down and so little.