Wondering if we were ever true friends?
By LaurenM
@ambull2683 (20)
United States
March 13, 2013 7:25am CST
For many years I had this friend that I hung out with all the time (I am a female and he is a male). There was never any romantic spark between us, just a great friendship (and yes it is possible). We talked about everything and we had such a good time. He would tell me that he just couldnt find a girl that made him think "wow I want to marry her" and I always hoped that he would find someone because he was such a great guy in every way. Eventually he did find that girl of his dreams and I was so happy for him because he was actually glowing like I have never seen before. The last time I talked to him, we went to lunch and he told me that he was going to propose to her and asked me to tweak his already planned idea so it was perfect. Long story short, she accepted his proposal and they married not too long after that. Thats when our friendship ended. Of course his wife is now his priority, however, he deleted me off of facebook and ceased all contact. When I pass him in the street or a store, he ignores me and acts as though I don't exist. We have never gotten into an argument the entire time of our friendship and there was never an ounce of jealousy on my part when he got married because like I said, we never had feelings for each other. I was happy for him. I honestly have no idea what happened and he wont even give me the time of day so I can ask him why. At first I was truly upset but I have come to realize that a true friend is very hard to find and obviously he wasnt my true friend.
1 person likes this
12 responses
@Pegasus72 (1898)
•
10 Apr 13
Are you still single? If so I have found out that most of my friends who didn't have kids do not have time for me, but those who did have kids and got married do. It is like the split you see between elementary school and middle school and then again in high school. Sad but surreal.
@cherigucchi (14876)
• Philippines
14 Mar 13
I suspect that it was the wife who made him break your friendship. Things like that happen especially when the partner has problems confronting a different kind of jealousy. You should understand his action if you really are true friends no matter how it hurts you.
May be he just loves the girl so much that he was even willing to cut connections even with the people he truly care.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
13 Mar 13
I think like others said it was probably because his new wife was jealous and did not want him hanging out with another woman. It is silly and immature but I have seen plenty of people like this...
Your right though, he was not a true friend if he gave up your friendship that easily. If he was a true friend he would still be hanging out with you and told his wife he is allowed to have a friend, even if you are a woman.
@doroffee (4222)
• Hungary
13 Mar 13
There are these kinds of people - once they find love, they think friendship isn't that important anymore. Or, another thing could be, that the girl he found is extremely jealous, and gave him an ultimatum, and he chose her, so he chose to avoiud you. Anyway, he wasn't good friendship material, if he doesn't appreciate what you've done for him in the last few years.
@extremefun4fun (2908)
• India
14 Mar 13
Well, you are right, but all female do not think like you in relationship. I mean, maybe his wife, is so jealouse and can not understand the pure relationship between you and him and that is the reason he ignores you. just be positive, it has a reason that he does that.
@sami4321 (3)
• India
14 Mar 13
Friendship is very common word in wired world but the meaning of the friendship is differ from people to people. some thinks true friendship not possible.
some one thinks friendship does not exit for long time.
I think A true friend ship depends on mutual understanding which is very rare in the world as everybody thinks of own.
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
13 Mar 13
I think it's probably the wife's idea to cease all contact with you. I dunno but I don't think on his own he could have ignored you just like that. He probably spoke to his wife a lot about you and that got her thinking. Well I don't know how the wife is like personality-wise. Just my two cents.
@kprofgames (3091)
• United States
13 Mar 13
That's kind of sad. Once a person is married doesn't mean you should cease contact with friends. Friendships carry over into the marriage. I don't see it as a male/female issue but some spouses might. And that is sadder still, when you think about it.
Sorry you lost someone dear to you. Friendships come and go in our lifetimes but when it is so sudden like that it's hurtful.
@airasheila (5454)
• Philippines
13 Mar 13
good day to you ambull2683,
i guess, your friendship is not as deep as the sea level. so that explains why your relationship ended just like that. anyway, i know how you feel since you didn't have any argument during those times but i guess, just learn how to let go of that acquaintance. your friendship deserved far better from that guy.
@mrswhitfield (2044)
• Indonesia
13 Mar 13
Well I don't mean to provoke you, but I think may be his wife is jelous to you because you are best friend with her husband. If there is no problem with you and you friend, may be someone close to him "think" have problem with you. Have you tried to greet him whenyou met him on the street? i think you should try to know if he is change or not.
@jiiiiin (586)
• Philippines
13 Mar 13
Somehow my story is kind a same with the story of you. I used to have a guy friend and we've been friends like 3 years already. Were so close back then but when he already have a girlfriend he started to stay away with me and slowly stopping the communication between us. Our good friendship is already wasted now. I dont know what happened. I really hate people that just staying away from you without any explanation on what's happening.
@rybrain (4)
• Haldia, India
13 Mar 13
Hi Dear...Did you ever ask your friend his pesonal feelings about you? Most of the time a great friendship scares to ask some very simple questions, thinking.. may their friendship will fall in trouble. Reality is that no one wants to lose his or her darling. So some true feelings remain unspoken. Sometimes heart speaks in different ways. As you said he usually spoke not to get a girl whom he can marry. May be he wanted any positive response from your side. But his dearest one was ever silent. Now he has got married and as a good husband he wants to give everything to his wife. All feelings what he once thought to give his darling. He is perfect but not so much strong to delete Your memories, the happiest moments that both of you spent...I can feel...a resposible husband try to control himself, taking steps by blocking facebook, deleting photos but not able to rid of the past memmories. He knows those uncontroled past can spoil Their present and he never wants this. Your friend is really very good guy. So please don't misunderstand him, give him time, may once he comes out with flying colours and then you also get back your dearest friend. If he had no feeling about you he could take everything in very casual way. Please dear never mind if I am wrong. It seems to me he is your true friend and both of you are really very good.
