Young, Naive Man in a Hurry to Get Married

sir if you love your son... then you have to love your wife as well remember half of the life of your son is your wife and the half is yours... now if you decided to leave just try to picture out killing half of the life of your son. im a married woman as well we have two kids already me and my husband went through the same situation and worst. leaving or separation is not an option if you love your son. if you decide to leave then you love your self more. because instead of facing the situation as man... you are opt. to leave your wife and your kid to ease the hatred and bitterness in your heart, and what is going to happen is the hatred and bitterness that you carry will be planted in your sons heart if you leave. im sorry sir I know im not in the position to tell you what to do but separation in never an option especially if you promised to the LORD that you will take care of your family. there is always a way I believe in that because it happend to our marriage by God's grace we are happy and our kids are happy. dont you want to see your son happy? remember you can give to your son everything in this world but that wont make him completely happy if his parents are separated. sir im praying that God will touch your heart and give you wisdom and help you out to fix your marriage in the right way. I have hope and positive that your marriage will change. ask God for help and He surely will. because he promised to us that if we ASK we will RECIEVE. I also believe sir that what happend before is a great plan of God to your life and to your wife and son, what is happening right not is just a challenge that you have to face.

i am a single mom and i braved the society's scorn 23 years ago because i didn't want to be tied up in a marriage that wouldn't have lasted long. have you ever asked your wife how she feels about your marriage? is she happy? or maybe she also married you just because she was afraid to be branded 'disgrasyada'. annulment is very expensive (the last i heard it costs 250KPhP). there are also parameters in getting this. talk with your wife and ask her about her feelings about your marriage. however much it's going to hurt, you should be honest with her. it's only in this manner that you can find an amicable settlement regarding the time that you can spend with your son in case you separate. i hope you're not having an extra marital relationship, this would worsen your situation. you're still young, you can wait for the divorce bill. anyway, after one failed marriage (in case you separate), i don't think you'll be in a hurry to get into another one.

I have never been married and thankfully I am safe. I can understand how you can feel about your marriage turning into. I guess marrying at a young age has its disadvantage. But anyone could have been in your situation. Back home, when you do not want to marry a girl whom you have impregnated, he has the option of raising the child himself. But, it's terrible you feel trapped now. Now, it's clear from your comments that you have already made up your mind to end the relationship with your wife. So there is no point of looking for options. I'd suggest you and your wife consult an Attorney or legal adviser because annulment may cost you most of your savings. Besides, while your wife will only benefit from the annulment, it may even leave you in rags, as happened with so many guys.

Hello Usemyname, I am single and though sometimes depress for not having some one in life, i still think am lucky to be free and making decisions on my own. Probably your story reminds me how fortunate I am that i am not tied to the responsibilities with a child what so ever. it's like when you are in that situation, there's no turning back. though sad,but your experience now has made me fear the life of marriage and commitment a lot more than ever

So you married at the young age of 23. Obviously you loved the woman you married at one time or you would not have married her. Using your son to marry her is a very lame excuse! My suggestion is this: why did you want to be with this woman in the first place (that you got her pregnant)? Was it love or lust. If it was lust shame on you!!! If love awesome. So now you have a decision to make!!! You can either choose to leave or stay. You need to stay or leave for all the right reason and you have to figure out those for yourself. Suggestions: find all the good qualities in this woman, things that you really like about her: smile, smell, sense of humor, reliable, etc. Work on that and you just may find that you actually love this person. Look for the good and compliment her once in awhile, bring her flowers or an unexpected gift and see what happens. You may just find that you two belong together.

To begin with, neveer consider getting marriage just for the sake of legitimizing the status of your child. Even if your son is illegitimate, he's still entitled to everything you have, unless you have other kids from differrent women. But in your case, try sorting out your issues first with your wife. Consider going into marriage counselling. Annulment proceedings are really expensive and can take years before the marriage gets annulled. The State are not really in favor of annulment because of the "inviolability of the family as an institution" so the family courts will exhaust all the means possible not to grant the annulment.

Hi there usename, i have always thought that marrying for the sake of the baby (out of marriage of course) is never an answer. it is wrong from the start as it can always lead to despair especially if they are a young couple. Enough of the past, though because we know this is long gone, now let us look into the future. You say you no longer see and feel happiness with your wife (bitter half as you have said so yourself... why is this? do you even love her as much when you married her or that you only married her for the coming baby? Your son is now at least 5 years old, it is too early for him to understand what's happened. If you love him and don't want him to be hurt could you even try to understand your very own situation and see things in a different way? your wife may have felt this, can't you both try to talk and work it out? Or have you found someone else? Usually its really about someone finding someone else...

I am sorry that this has to happen to you. But reading the posts and your responses, i am wondering if you have tried to let your wife be checked by a psychiatrist. You said she was formerly sweet and loving, and suddenly changed into like that. So , there could be an underlying reason why she suddenly became like that. Let her be treated first by a psychiatrist, maybe she will be back to her former self once treated.

Well, i experienced what you experienced, i married at the young age of 19 but the big difference is that I Love my Wife. We've been married for almost 6 years. We got married when my first child is about 6 months old. Well, as of now you did'nt feel any love towards your wife, it is either some factors affect you both. Try to understand each others feeling. You can not love someone when you are always looking for something that she doesn't have. I don't know what's the real reason but before you make any actions try to consider things and most important of all consider your son's feeling it may affect him as a person.