is it worth it?

What the hell? I hope this is not true. Is she crazy? I get the love thing, but seriously? Ruining her own life for a guy who doesn't even have the guts to love her back? Oh please, if you can't sacrifice your religion and parent's choice for someone who loves you so much then you don't love her at all. Please tell your stupid friend to back down, there are a lot of guys out there and i am pretty sure she will find her perfect someone someday.

Is she desperate? She doesn't have to do any of those. Besides, if the man loves her, he would not marry the other woman just because his family told him so. This man can't fight for her, then he is not worthy. I think your friend is confused and need to think clearly.

Wow, the power of love, incidentially you didn't mention how old your friend is, she has certainly put her heart on him, and I fear she is going to be very disappointed, someone is going to get really hurt, and it will probably be her. Trouble the more people tell her NOT to waste her time and energy and love on this obviously unavailable man the more she will pine for him. At the end of the day you can only advise her, but it's her decision, we all may see what she is doing is wrong, but only her can break this obsession with him. And I truly hope she does, now, before it's too late.

Never. How can you say that you love someone, but marry another person? I don't care if my family picked someone for me to marry, I'd marry the one I love instead. She should find someone who will do the same for her.

It is certainly hard to deal with this kind of problem. And no one can make her change her mind unless he would feel the need to really give it up. But just remain a good friend to her and remind her the repercussions of what she is planning. She may think that she'll be fine being a mistress, but I think that her child deserves more than that.

I think she never thinks deeply of what will be the consequences when evrythng she wants happens.. When she'll be a mistress, she will alwayr feel hurt as someone,the legal one, demands her rights on the guy.. So try to talk to your friend..

She is thinking this way, and she is feeling this way because maybe the man is also telling her these things that she so wanted to hear. I mean if she is being led to believe then that could be true that she is hoping that this man loved her as much and that he would fight for her. i of course thinks that she is the kind of person who did love this man... but if the man loved her truly as he say, then he should be picking to marry her regardless if he is to marry other woman already. because if not he would only be hurting them both. and he had to make sure to choose!

I pity your friend for her decision. She's really madly in love with this guy but the question is, will the guy fight for her, for their love. Muslims are allowed to have many wives if they can support them, I guess it's based on their religion and beliefs. Talked to your friend, being a Christian she knows that it isn't right, it's as sin against Christian virtues. There are other men out there who is more than willing to fight for her just tell her to keep looking.

Thanks a ton for sharing this discussion. Well i think this is really a complicated case for that girl and i know whatever she is thinking is her own decision, she is not trying to think from the point of view of others. She should have backed out after hearing that she is a second lady of that guy. I hope she thinks wisely and take her decision in full consciousness. What say?

Hi Pom ! Love moves in very mysterious ways. It have its own world that so hard to teach and tame . It has its own reason . A Christian and a Muslim from opposite world see how mysterious is it ? So many people in this world but why to Christian or to Muslim ? We can't teach heart , it have its own choice. We'll she ask for that baby , i am in favor of that. It just shows how big is her love to the Muslim and that is priceless ! It is really love and not lust or any desire. Bearing a baby without a husband in your side is never easy , you are sacrificing everything but sacrifice didn't matter because love conquers all !

well, she is so emotional and I think it is good to give some time to her to thinkg and choice. tell her to open her eyes and see how many men are available in the world? why she should go to get a child from a man just to make memories? then what about that child? is not selfishness of that lady to play with an innocent humanbeing life? she should not do that. if she can not marry with that man, then tell her to forget him, just by time, and not having a child, becuase she should not get that much selfish to make a fatherless baby and make that place empty in one innocent child's life just because she wants to make some memories, what a shame for this sort of thinking! just ask her to not be emotional and give some time. everything by time will be alright.

I don't like her thinking. It is not good at all. it could be a joke right? think about the child. he will grow up without father. how do she explain when he asks. it is unfair for him