Mental Health, Suffering , Religion : How these got tangled up inside me to hurt
@littlefranciscan (18327)
United States
March 17, 2013 5:04am CST
I must say sometimes, we can be brainwashed to believe that Someone Up There wants us to Suffer. At least, in the faith I was in.. I was taught that suffering was something that brought us closer to God. I mean, I even was studying to be a nun. .and they encouraged us to inflict sufferings on ourselves..this was going to make me closer to God and make up for sins etc etc.
Now this will be called a very severe psychological problem. Self-harm is not something healthy. Yet, the faith I had said..yes it is .. it's holy .etc etc. I believed it because I was trusting in the powers that be to not mislead me.
I only realized how brainwashed I was when I got into a traumatizing situation and I was frozen inside the situation. I could not run. because I was afraid of displeasing God. I thought suffering it would make me a saint etc.
This was all taught to me early on. That somehow God. above. wants us to suffer to get to Heaven. That this was a sign we were on the right road. What's wrong with the happy peaceful life.?
Why must one beat oneself to blood to prove to a God who is spirit that we love him. which is a spiritual thing not a physical thing.
I think I was tought to make God out to be a Monster and that He likes seeing us suffer. I no longer believe this way. I have come to know God to be tender and loving. and healing. Not someone out there ready to pounce and destroy. .Such ways are contrary to a Divine nature. I think .
Any way I was brainwashed, led to believe that praying at same time as everyone else, accepting everything without questioning, seeing mere men/women as gods ..nonsense and I never ever questioned ..
I wish I had known all the bad things these people with power were doing hidden behind doors. I am however proof that such beliefs can lead to a very broken and fragile person.
I have to go for therapy now. I am afraid alot any more. Because my beliefs allowed me to be hurt so many times in my life.
4 responses
@srjac0902 (1169)
• Italy
19 Mar 13
Friend, health, suffering and faith are not a matter to explain or discuss technically. Once what was considered as mystical, spiritual, today these terms have been articulated as psyco social, or psychological. God experience is much above all terms like faith, penance and other realities. The outside acts do not guarantee of being closer to God. Being closer to God is initiated by God, even human person can pry and try through multiple means but God visits the soul uncoinditionally.
In the catholic religion one phenomenon is very much noteworthy that is you never come accross a saint who has not suffered. When God raises man to be His parrtner then suffering mecomes a great phenomenon and man has proved himself that he can withstand any kind of suffering or pain when he has been truly attracted by God. It is a call and all not have been called for it. But though suffering is an essential part of our life it is not a pre-conditioning to reach God. Christ himself underwent crucifixion.
@srjac0902 (1169)
• Italy
20 Mar 13
Friend like all human beings Jesus meekly accepted the Cross. At his agony in Gethsemane Jusus pleaded His Heavenly Father, if it be His will let the Cup pass away, but .... Suffering or absence of suffering is not the matter. What is essential is that we live in communion with God come what may, suffering or well being. Suffering and wellbeing are the part of life and one cannot impose suffering on others in a fanatic way to please God. God respects our free will and no one can be cohesive. God's love is unconditional. When we love then we are ready to suffer. Even married couples are not free from suffering. But inflict suffering forcefully and promise some God's favors is not salutary. We cannot buy heaven by penance but we can do penance out of our sincere acknowledgement of God's infinite love and acknowledging our limitations. God's love and mercy alone can grant us true happiness
@Bluedoll (16773)
• Canada
17 Mar 13
I think it is a good thing that you are away from that and can share your story and experiences with others. This is typical example how biblical words can be twisted and used for selfish purposes.
Certainly life can be difficult and we might suffer but God never wants us to hurt ourselves or someone else. Shame on them for hurting you. Many scripture tell us things and do it very dramatically.
The scripture I thought about as I read your topic was “Also, if your right hand is making you stumble, cut it off and throw it away from you.”
It would be really silly for people to actually do that. What the bible means to do is illustrate and make us see something in our hearts, not actually do it!
That scripture actually says “it would be better..” meaning that we have choices to make. And God gave us free will and wants us to question things and get closer to him, not hurt or be cruel to ourselves.
I know Mother Teresa (spelling is maybe not correct, sorry) lived a life of poverty but that was her choice to pursue for unselfish reasons and was not a demand by God.
We should really listen to God not the abusers of this world.
take care littlefranciscan 
1 person likes this
@littlefranciscan (18327)
• United States
18 Mar 13
I use to be very loyal to the former church.then all the scandals come out and the constant cover up. It makes sense now to me that I was told not to speak of my hurts.. because this is what they told children they were hurting all along.. I don't believe Our God is a monster or that He delights in seeing people scurge theirselves. God made all things good for our happiness . .not for us to suffer.
@Bluedoll (16773)
• Canada
18 Mar 13
I am not sure why everything is as it is but one thing I am sure of. We make God happy when we praise him and those unhappy when we denounce their evil ways. Too bad for them. What is important for you I think is now you are happy that you can see the true God?
@urbandekay (18278)
•
19 Mar 13
Beware of those that come in sheep's clothing but underneath are ravening wolves.
By their fruits you shall know them for a corrupt tree bears not good fruit...
Those that preach self-harm cannot be of God, God loves us and can surely not wish us to harm ourselves
all the best, urban
@dmckenzie (80)
•
17 Mar 13
I dislike that you were hurt so many times. I was not taught the same things that you were describing. It seems to me to be understandable that all this possibly made you into a different person than you possibly thought you were supposed to be or even wanted to be. It is not nice that you were treated badly or for anyone to be treated badly. I was taught about God growing up. I was taught that he is loving, kind and merciful. Although I was also taught that like a parent with a child that there are punishments, but I was taught that if I sinned that if I truly believed then all I had to do was repent my sins to God and turn it all over to Him and I would be forgiven. I wish that there was something I could do to help you along your path and to help change what others did to you. I am not wanting to try to judge anyone else for it is not my place to judge anyone. I hope and wish for lots of wonderful things for you in this journey of life. I was also taught that when others do something to us that we are supposed to turn the other cheek and pray about the whole situation and everyone involved. Sorry I am not wanting to try to push my beliefs or what I was taught on you, and if any of this makes you feel that way I apologize.
1 person likes this
@littlefranciscan (18327)
• United States
18 Mar 13
That is good that you did not grow up thinking you had to suffer more to be close to God . .it is not a good way to grow up believing. I believe in God.. just don't believe in some ways any more. .I believe God is loving and cannot have anything to do with hurting children or covering up for that.
